[ video ↳ oo1 ]

[france]

[ GOOD DAY TRANQUILITY. The screen flickers on to show a rather attractive albeit very naked Frenchman holding up one of the standard issue jumpsuits. ]

All right. Fine, I am obviously far away from home. I cannot feel the strong connection to my people, and the air tastes like metal. That is not my biggest concern. My biggest concern, to whomever put me here, is what am I to do with these? [ He shakes the jumpsuit in his hand, the material flopping over his wrist. ]

I will not wear it. I can not wear it. The colour is agreeable but the general design? It is worse than someone Chine would come up with. [ The jumpsuit is dropped and the video is moved to offer a little decency. At least now, the current inhabitants of the ship can only see him from the extremely hairy chest up. ]

So then, my question is this: is there any material in this place I may use to craft a new outfit? I will not wear clothes until then. [ And then a smile, a brilliant smile, one he's practiced many times and seems to walk the border of charming and creepy. ]

Aaa, and I should introduce myself, to any and all who may be listening: I am France, the country of romance, of love, of desire. I like to go on strike and make food for people! Perhaps if one of you would help me, I could help you in return? [ He doesn't really know how to use technology, so after a bit of fumbling and him jabbing at random things, the video finally ceases. ]

Comments

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[france]

[ Oh a cute little boy... ]

Me? Of course I am. Do you know nothing of my country, little one? I am fashion. [ because that attitude isn't going to piss off a certain purple haired member aboard this ship ]

Though, I would love to help you for your date! Who is the lucky girl, or boy? Aaa, whatever it is you like, I do not care! [ A chuckle. ]

Well, I understand why it is so difficult for you humans to comprehend what I am, what we are, though it always is so strange to me. Without us to lead your nations, to exist as the manifestation of your pride, your hope and your will for your country, what would happen? Aaa, the world would fall into disrepair, I am sure. [ JUST... let him live in his little fantasy. He feels safe there. ]

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[zoosmell]

Being a country must be hard. [ that is his only interest in the matter time for fashion ]

She's a girl, but she's kinda an alien girl? But it's not a boy, because I am not a homosexual. I'm not really sure what she likes! But she says she's really fashionable and she says that I'm not. But I think the Ghostbusters suit sort of thing looks really good, and I think she'll be impressed.

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[france]

How can something be hard if it is all you know? [ Oh dear, this kid has a mouth on him. France stares at the screen skeptically, then offers an amused smile. ]

What an imagination you have! Well, as I am the country of love, I see nothing wrong with falling in love with an alien girl. Or boy, you must not be so close minded! Beauty is beauty, is it not? [ Great, this one has all of the fashion sense of America with all the taste of England. It's going to be a long day. ]

No, no, stop. Please, I beg of you, stop. You cannot impress a beautiful woman with something terrible and tacky. You need something suave, something that will compliment your figure. Perhaps if I had the materials to sketch out a design...

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[zoosmell]

I can ask Rose if she can knit something! She is really good at knitting and I might marry her! She's also super smart, so if you ever need any thinking done, she is the person you should go to, because she is just a Mart of Smart.

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[france]

So... is this rose the alien girl you speak of, the one you wish to marry? [ He shakes his head. ] Aaa, no, I am fine without the knitting. But thank you for the offer, my friend.

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[zoosmell]

No, Vriska is the alien troll. But she's nice and she said she was very fashionable, so...

I can probably just wear a t-shirt, right? Because I have a cool one with an ultra cool design.