[ video ↳ oo1 ]

[france]

[ GOOD DAY TRANQUILITY. The screen flickers on to show a rather attractive albeit very naked Frenchman holding up one of the standard issue jumpsuits. ]

All right. Fine, I am obviously far away from home. I cannot feel the strong connection to my people, and the air tastes like metal. That is not my biggest concern. My biggest concern, to whomever put me here, is what am I to do with these? [ He shakes the jumpsuit in his hand, the material flopping over his wrist. ]

I will not wear it. I can not wear it. The colour is agreeable but the general design? It is worse than someone Chine would come up with. [ The jumpsuit is dropped and the video is moved to offer a little decency. At least now, the current inhabitants of the ship can only see him from the extremely hairy chest up. ]

So then, my question is this: is there any material in this place I may use to craft a new outfit? I will not wear clothes until then. [ And then a smile, a brilliant smile, one he's practiced many times and seems to walk the border of charming and creepy. ]

Aaa, and I should introduce myself, to any and all who may be listening: I am France, the country of romance, of love, of desire. I like to go on strike and make food for people! Perhaps if one of you would help me, I could help you in return? [ He doesn't really know how to use technology, so after a bit of fumbling and him jabbing at random things, the video finally ceases. ]

Comments

video; 2.3

[herocomplex]

_{[ And here we go... ]}

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD, FRENCHIE. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN MAN. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK YOU THINK YOU AN JUST LIKE I DON'T KNOW APPEAR LIKE THIS ALL LATE AND SHIT.

I knew I smelled garlic and defeat on this ship. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT.

FRANCE, DUDE. EVERYONE HERE IS BATSHIT. I NEED YOUR SUPPORT. I need your support! However ineffective it may be, I understand it's the thought that counts----!!

video; 3.3

[herocomplex]

----Are you totally naked again?

video

[france]

[ He more or less completely ignored the second part, having found more interesting in playing with his chest hair than listening to America screech about his debt or fattening food or whatever he yells about. ]

[ When he finishes, he glances up at him and smiles, as if he'd been paying close attention all along. ]

Yes, I am. [ AND THE VIDEO DROPS LOWER... and then swoops back up to his face. If your eyeballs haven't bled out of your head yet, Alfred, have a smiling, cheerful France. ] You should join me, little America.

video; 1.3

[herocomplex]

_{[ he screams.
He needs an adult.
An adult that isn't France. ]}

video; 2.3

[herocomplex]

OKAY FRANCE. YOU CAN'T JUST DO THAT. NOBODY NEEDS TO SEE YOUR DICK.
Like nobody EVER. Remember what I told you about showing me your dick? Yeah, we're sticking to that rule.

_{[ .. he never had this discussion with France. ]}

If China were here, he'd be CENSORING YOU ALL OVER, DUDE. But I understand your need for wanting to be free, just not while I'm around, okay? Got it? And I'm NOT LITTLE.

_{[ that's the main reason why he's flustered, really. ]}

video; 3.3

[herocomplex]

--And this is serious business, man. Like mondo serious. What year is it for you? Hungary and Austria are from the 1950's, so they're batshit, and Belarus is Belarus, so she's batshit.
I'm the only sane country here.

_{[ and he's batshit. ]}

Put your dick away and get some clothes on. I want to talk to you in private. Where are you at?

Video

[france]

[ America, what don't you seem to understand about the fact France doesn't want to listen to you? He nods along as Alfred speaks, though focuses all of his attention on a particularly interesting spot on the wall. Although he flicks his eyes back to the screen at the last mention of his genetalia, he glances away and smiles again in response. ]

Ah yes, of course, of course. [ It takes a moment for him to register what Alfred just said. When he does, he offers a rather bemused look at the screen. ] that is both absurd and impossible, but I shall entertain the situation with a suspension of disbelief. It is the year 2012, 'Merica. [ The situation has quickly gone from a ridiculous completely insane in a matter of minutes. Luckily, France happens to be a staunch existentialist, and therefore thinks very little of the situation, regardless of what it's impossible implications may be. ] Sure, of course, I will come and talk to you. But I will not put on clothing until I am given fashionable clothing to wear. And no, America, I am not implying that you should attempt to locate any on my behalf, as your tastes are just as questionable as the tastes of England.