[ Hey, TQ. It's been a while. So long, in fact, Bells doesn't even know why he's bothering with this sort of thing anymore, but he's bored. And more than a little lonely. ]

It's nice all of you are getting these cute ideas about trying to have some fun, but it's probably not gonna last very long. [ Great way to start out the video. He stretches back. ] Everything's shit most of the time, and making the, uh, best of a bad situation just won't work up here. Most of it's boring, sure. But when things get bad, they get bad.

You can't talk your way out of it. [ Much to his disappointment. ] And you certainly can't pretend it's all gonna get better. There's a few easy rules to stick to while you're here. [ He holds up a finger. ] Don't make friends. [ Another goes up. ] Don't try to get cozy.

Stick to those, and things might not be so bad. Then again-- [ Bells shrugs, rubbing a hand over his face. ] Anyway. There are other things worth doing while you're here. However long that might be.

If you wanna know, just ask. If not... Enjoy being in Hell. 'Cause it's all worse than actually being there.

[ And click. The best motivational speaker ever. ]