Just in case anyone was wondering, I didn't grow a beard and I didn't acquire an alarming amount of sass.

[ That's a good way to start, Ned. ]

Face-alikes are as common as common can get around here, but I'm not one for big jokes. If the beard isn't a reliable tell, let it be his jokes. Here's a joke: Why did the chicken cross the road? [ Wait for it, wait for itttt... ] Not sure, I don't eat chicken.

PSA done, Pie Maker out.

Things have been stressful these past few-

[He's lying if he doesn't finish that sentence with the word months, each and every day since his first day. But that wouldn't make anyone feel better, and it's not like there haven't been happy moments too. Those moments just require a little more patience, a little more effort. Which reminds him:]

I've been thinking that it would be nice if we could have a football game, some friendly competition. And a little exercise might do us all a world of good. [He's not calling anyone fat, he swears.] Naturally, it would require a location. And a ball. And most importantly, players. It's been a few years, but I think I could still manage to help anyone who doesn't know how to play but still wants to take part. All that really matters is to have fun.

[Noah feels like he's forgetting something important. Oh yeah.]

For the benefit of my American friends on board, I'm referring to soccer and not your football. To each his own, but I'm not sure I understand the appeal of being at the bottom of a pile of large men.

[He grimaces. Welp, there's a sentence he'll never be able to get back again.]

So! Let me hear your thoughts, Tranquility.

[The feed opens with a glimpse of sunflowers, an ashtray - contents still smoking - and a couch, before two hands darken the view. By the time the video adjusts to their removal Netherlands is already flopped back on Russia's couch, wearing his football uniform and lightly leaning against the other nation's shoulder. He's too boneless to be sober but not so fucked up that he looks anything but his usual cross between bored and overly serious.]

There aren't any history books here. From Earth.

[Russia’s letting Netherlands take care of the speaking this time, a bit amused that despite how nosy he is he hadn’t managed to realize that there weren’t any history books in the Media Library, or rather, that he hadn’t visited that particular bit of the ship in the entire time they’ve been here. So he just sits back and rucks a hand through his hair, relaxes.]

Not much of anything from Earth. [Idly, he reaches up and straightens the scarf about his neck, smoothes the lapels on his uniform.]

Thought America said it was after Earth, [Netherlands mutters, more of an aside to Russia, before he returns his attention back to the video.] We can write some of it, if there’s a way to write - media books.

[What the hell are those things.]

As far as he knew. [Russia rolls his eyes and murmurs, follows Netherlands’ gaze over to the video, nods a bit.] Not going to write it all though, too much shit to deal with.

[That gets a flick of Netherlands’ eyes to the ceiling in return, before he settles further back into the cushions and continues.]

So we’re taking requests, then.

[Not actually a question. They’re now taking requests.]

Can do some right now... not doing anything else. Nothing after - [a flicker of a look between Russia and the feed] - 1900. Unless you want us to write it. Later.