ataraxion | [voice] dated to late wednesday "evening" - eridan's guide to finding dead bodies

[this is surprise.]
Oh.

[this is distress.]
I - I... uh - fuck -

[this is panic.]
I need - fuckin' son of a bitch I need, um, someone here, right noww, the pool - [there's a little gasping breath, followed by a more sincere attempt at deep breathing. eridan doesn't even try to sound Okay at all.] Someone's in...

[and finally, the verbal shoulder-slump of defeat.]
Someone's drowwned in the pool.

[this is not what he wants to be doing right now at all, in the slightest, he was just supposed to look around real fast, just a quick look before he kept wandering, there wasn't supposed to be anything wrong.] I need John Wwatson. 001, uh, just the 001. An', uh. Shit. [there's the sound of frustrated typing for a minute, then,] 002-215. That one. I need both'a you to... Talk to me.

Someone else come help me. He's definitely...

[there's a long pause here, almost a minute, and then:] He's been here for a wwhile. There's nothin' else to do.

[002-215, Neal Caffrey and 001-197, John Watson are getting a notification every minute for this post until they respond.]

((OOC: way to brutalize the /small tag, whoops. anyway all responses voice, it is completely likely that anyone who knew Sherlock will get a pretty clear idea of who Eridan's referring to with such a dramatic call-out to Neal and Watson. uuuhh other than that yep that's it Sherlock's dead guys.))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

38(

glub

Glub glub sig)(.
So t)(at person really drowned? Wow, w)(at a bummer.
W)(o was it?

it wwas fuckin sherlock stupid coddamn im gonna go apeshit ovver a jar a bees FUCKIN HOLMES
look howw fuckin smart you are noww you fuckin idiot
belly up like a fuckin MORON

so fuckin stupid

Well, I don't t)(ink you can blame )(im for being dead!
Unless it's )(is fault and )(e did somet)(ing R--EALLY retarded, I guess.
But you really s)(ould )(ave a little more respect for t)(e D-EC-EAS-ED, -Eridan. I would know!

... )(ey, wait just a glubbing minute!
You ofis)(elly found a dead body before I did!!! 38/

i can blame him all i wwant hes dead hes not gonna take offense
its not like its you im NOT gonna tear myself up ovver this fucker goin dowwn

[lies]

wwhoop de fuckin do fef that is not my main fuckin concern at this point

[ it's sad to think that there are no dreambubbles here, so she'll never speak to sherlock again. there are a lot of people here who she would be happy to see in the afterlife. still - ]

It doesn't matter w)(et)(er it's me or someone else, you still s)(ouldn't be a )(uge c)(afing bulge about it!!
T)(e dead deserve just as muc)( respect as t)(e LIVING, you know. If not more!

)(mp)(.
Is someone coming to )(elp you already?

not if theyre idiots

yes someone is comin head a securitys on her wway an then theres his fuckin moirail slash doctor type wwho wwants to look at the scene an be completely unbiased in evverythin he sees obvviously

an then im gettin the fuck outta here

Like you, you mean? 38|

O)( no, )(e )(ad a moirail? T)(at sucks. Living longer t)(an your moirail must be R-EALLY awful.
Just don't say anyt)(ing offensive!!! Remember, )(umans are ---EXTR-EM-ELY sensitive!

[ protips from the resident human expert. ]

i dont expect people to be singin my praises wwhen i die thats for fuckin sure

he had evvery fuckin quadrant filled except for ashen its pretty fuckin awwful i had to tell his moirail AND his matesprit about it i dont wwant to evver havve to do that again

im not gonna say anythin offensivve i knoww howw to talk to these people ivve knowwn them for fuckin evver pretty much so givve me some coddamn credit

O)(, don't be suc)( a stubborn grumpygills.

)(oly mackerel. I )(ope someone keeps an eye on )(is matesprit!
I know t)(at seeing t)(e deat)( of your flus)(ed is pretty )(ard to deal wit)( in a rational manner.

)(-EY, you knew us for LIT--ERALLY forever and you still manage to say t)(e wrong t)(ings at t)(e wrong times!!

wwhat you dont wwant me to be fuckin honest here fef i mean seriously i knoww wwhen i go belly up pretty much evveryones gonna be pleased or at least irritated like i am wwith sherlock
theres not gonna be a fuckin bit to do about it
just a feww people goin that sucks i guess an then movvin on im not gonna pretend im not a loser like sherlock here im smarter than that

an that wwas before those wwere nevver serious situations like this they wwerent the same
besides our group wwas full a complete sissies they couldnt handle anythin practically

Wow, if your text was in violet too, I would t)(ink t)(at we )(ad never even left Alternia wit)( t)(at kind of self-pity and melodrama!
You )(ave NO ID---EA )(ow lucky you are t)(at I am now)(ere near you rig)(t now, buster.

T)(e only sissy on t)(at codforsaken rock was you!

thats not a pity party wwhen im feelin dowwn about myself theres a wway different fuckin cadence in my text this is me bein honest an truthful
im not a good person an im not gonna cause a lot a drama wwhen i die its just howw it is i dont get wwhy thats so shockin a me to be sayin i mean its obvvious

pretty sure kar wwas a wway bigger sissy lets be honest here
its not evven really an insult to say they wwere a bunch a sensitive jellyfish about just about evverythin
its probably wwhy wwe lost to be honest i mean if wwe had been more fucking pragmatic about shit instead a gettin all caught up in our owwn bullshark it wwould a gone a lot smoother

but either fuckin wway THIS ISNT THE TIME fef i am not gonna get into a convversation about my shortcomins or lack thereof or about the people wwe used to knoww theyre not here so theyre a non fuckin quantity right noww

[voice] dated to late wednesday "evening" - eridan's guide to finding dead bodies

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