ataraxion | ( 009 ) video ✶ i can’t help my feelings i’ll go out of my mind

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( 009 ) video ✶ i can’t help my feelings i’ll go out of my mind

[ jenna could have sworn she was done with being the nearly thirty year old who still gets high in public. but rey had a really big bag. a really. big. bag.

smoking with a vampire is worse for weed hogging than bong hits with michael phelps, news at eleven. at least she's a bit more coherent than her comrades.

the posts starts without ceremony, various limbs belonging to ariadne and rey in the background. ]

All right, we-- [ she flings out an arm, gathering two separate 'oofs' ] have all been here since day one. Day one. And a guy gave Rey a huge bag of weed, and we're not leaving this room until it's all smoked, because this place is the worst second chance invented without the cast of Jersey Shore involved. Seriously--

Wait, what's Jersey Shore? [ that from ariadne. jenna stops, frowning. ]

It's-- Rey, help me out here.

[ rey shakes her head slowly, eyes lidded. ] Can't, I have the same question.

[ jenna wrinkles her nose. ] Okay, it's-- orange people, from New Jersey, who are apparently Italian but really not, and one of them likes pickles and another one peed in a corner of a bar. [ kanye shrug. ] It's classy, appointment TV.

[ after a moment and three equally 'but why' faces, jenna moves on as their self-appointed spokesman. ] Anyway, what happened to boring space? It was like 'oh, I can't find enough hair ties' not 'holy crap, monsters and doom and people leaving'. I liked space better five months ago.

Rey. Rey, Ari. Quick poll-- play along, viewers at home-- did you like space better five months ago.

[ give her a second, what was her point again? ] Right, and people should come help us. And bring food.

Mostly the food, but helping's cool too. Rey's sharing, but only if you come join us in the People's Republic of Berkeley.

[ which would be the common deck on floor one, for the record. ]

Disallowed are: yelling, fighting, non-consensual pantsing, DARE propaganda, and Fig Newtons. Anything else, come on in.

( ooc | SO REY HAS DECREED ALL WEED IS TO BE SMOKED IN THE PARTY ROOM feel free to say your character dropped by, action it out, whatever. all threads viewable to the stoners three by proximity, label it locked otherwise and maybe one of them rolled over or something.

also blue is ari, and green is rey. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ holy not even what she meant but on that note: ]

Well, okay. I actually meant emotional space and adult space of having the right to make choices, but if we're going that way-- I would, so there's one. And if anyone else has an issue they can shut up about it, because this is my zen place and I will throw anyone making a fuss out.

I just didn't think you wanted to watch a bunch of burnouts eat chips and discuss bad tv, you're welcome to join us if you really want to.

[Wait...What?]

But I don't partake of drugs or alcohol. Isn't that the point of...that?

And as long as you respect our choices and don't try and make any of us stop, so?

Is there not a phenomenon known as the "buzz-kill"?

Which is why if you're going to judge out loud, you probably shouldn't. But hey, as long as you leave us alone judge away in the privacy of your own mind.

But that would be quite dishonest. To sit there and think badly of all of you but pretend nothing is wrong - No. That's worse by far than criticizing you loudly.

Miles, honey? You just described what most of the world does all day. We call it 'being polite', usually.

I call it being underhanded. If I've an issue with someone, I tell them. I don't sit and...hate them silently. And I expect them to do the same for me.

Hate or disapprove of their actions? Because that's a pretty big gulf between the two.

Edited 2012-08-27 18:21 (UTC)

...Disapprove of their actions.

Okay, so. Bear with me here. As of right now, you think it's dishonest not to tell people when you don't like what they're doing, right?

Next step: why is it your business what they do? I'm not being combative, so don't get defensive, I'm just asking. What is it that makes you in charge of telling people they're okay or not?

And I mean, stretch that one and you get into being that guy on late night tv telling people if they don't send him money and believe in Jesus like he does, they'll burn in hell. Nobody likes that guy, for the record. Even the people sending them money don't like those guys.

[ this point got a little meandering. weed: great for words, bad for being concise. ]

Anyway. So, I'm not saying never say anything-- sometimes speaking up is what keeps you from feeling complicit. And you know, if somebody's murdering someone else I'm not saying keep your thoughts on murder private. I'm saying... pick your battles. With a side order of 'and think about how you'd feel, having someone pretty eloquent telling you everything you're doing wrong 24/7'.

[It was a good job throwing in that "pretty eloquent"; the matter-of-fact not-quite compliment quite eradicates his defensiveness, so that his response is comparatively straightforward and calm.]

Do you not think that it is important to all people to improve themselves?

[ she thought that might help. ]

I do, yes. But, okay, follow along with me again on this one: why do you get to decide what improvement is? And what if, say, someone thinks improvement is the opposite of what you think it is? Are they wrong, just because you don't agree?

...And so we don't get derailed on a strawman situation, I mean the more esoteric questions of improvement. 'You should kick dogs or hit old ladies or murder people' type statements aren't allowed in this argument, because those are fairly general moral basics.

I don't get to decide.

[Here, his voice is matter-of-fact; he's thought about this before.]

Rather, I present my side, my vision, and challenge theirs. They do the same to mine. By that exchange, both they and I are forced to think critically about our preconceptions and ideas. Such a trial by fire anneals the metal of our minds, as it were; by this process, impurities and weaknesses are eliminated, thereby bringing us to something purer, more like real truth.

Or you can register like a know it all and instead of examining their beliefs, they cling tighter because people who feel put on the spot often get defensive, rather than receptive.

[ she's not sharp there, just matter of fact. ]

You can only debate people who agree to debate right back. Debate without active consent and participation is... at best, lecturing. And at worst, it can seem a whole lot like bullying.

[He's quiet a moment.]

Socrates, in his day, was despised. Before you roll your eyes, I do not of course presume to equate myself to him, but I do subscribe to the Socratic method. In any case - he was hated, and indeed they killed him for being too...annoying.

Yet his contributions to the body of human wisdom are peerless. Those people whom he stung might have clung tighter to their beliefs at that time, but in time they changed.

Edgeworth? I'm going to say something to you, and you're probably going to want to write me off as sentimental or not smart enough and probably more than a little condescending, but just listen to me.

Being smart is good. It means life is easier for you in certain ways than it would be if you weren't so smart. [ she pauses, picking her words carefully. ] But it also means that-- from what I've seen-- it makes you impatient with people who can't keep up, or who see the world differently.

You're smart, Edgeworth, but you're not wise. I went to college, too-- Socrates only agreed he was the wisest man in Athens because everyone else was too smart to say that on the whole, they really didn't know much at all.

Basically, smart and wise are two completely different animals. Smart, you have. Wise-- that one you only get with time and with life beating you up, and that's the one that ends up being worth more.

Edited 2012-09-06 18:37 (UTC)

[His voice grows a bit quieter - but not in anger or irritation or offense or impatience, as she might have expected. He's just quiet.]

...I know that when you look at me, you most likely perceive someone who's grown up sheltered and coddled without a care in the world, who has been given everything. I do not intend to dwell overlong on this point, but I would like to protest that this is not accurate. I have had life experience.

[He takes a breath and squares his shoulders and takes a quick moment to push past his distaste at his self-indulgence.]

Perhaps I do not have the wisdom of someone such as yourself; this I will grant. Yet nor am I dictating their life-views. Socrates grasped life and its meaning, and guided others to it; I only challenge. One need not be wise to begin with to do such a thing.

[ jenna inhales at that, shaking her head even though edgeworth can't see it. ]

Oh, honey. That's not what I see at all, I promise.

[ she waits a moment before replying, her tone slow and considering. ]

We'll skip over the me being wise part, because I'm really not. Just-- well tenderized by life, is all. Anyway, okay. You're challenging others... what about yourself? While you're asking people to examine their lives and their beliefs, are you doing the same to see if maybe there's a piece of truth in their choices that you just haven't experienced for yourself, yet?

[He shrugs, uncomfortably, unseen.]

I...am, naturally. I've accepted the existence of vampires and what-have-you, have I not?

That's not what I mean, and you know it. I can prove I'm a vampire, that's just fact and understanding we all come from different worlds, with different possibilities.

[ she's still gentle, but her tone goes a little firmer. ]

I mean challenge yourself the same way you challenge others. Because if you're going to hold Socrates up as your example, you can't skip that step. You and I both know he would never have just assumed he'd already figured it all out enough that it was only other people who needed to reflect on their lives.

I...Yes.

[His voice, though, is uneasy. Uncomfortable.]

I'm...rather different now from how I used to be.

And I would bet when now is your 'used to be', you'll be different again. Usually we call that 'growing up'.

[ teasing, but not unkindly. ]

You're not even twenty, Edgeworth. Socrates was a whole lot older than twenty, and he still was pretty sure that he didn't have it all together. Just-- think about that, okay?

[It's a good point, but he gets caught up in the single part that was less than factual - ]

I am twenty. I'll be twenty-one in a month!

Miles.

[ dreaded mom voice. ]

Don't be pedantic because I had a brain skip and forgot something, okay? We were actually having a really good talk.

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[voice | locked] jenna is like /face in hands

[voice | locked] TEACH HIM YOUR WAYS OF BEING A NORMAL HUMAN, slash vampire I guess

[voice | locked] jenna's real superpower: normality. freakish amounts of normality.

[voice | locked] Also being adorable

[voice | locked] she is a magic unicorn. ...as opposed to a non-magic one i guess.

[voice | locked] HEH is that why she always seems to be making friends with virgins

[voice | locked] you have cracked the case tbh

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