ataraxion | [voice] eridan's guide to feeling like a total failure at everything

[When Eridan speaks, he sounds... well, if we're being honest, he sounds angry. Who he's angry at isn't readily apparent (hint: its himself), but the anger is at least making him sound more authoritative than normal.]

Wwhat the fuck did I tell you people about gettin' to the gravv couches on time?

[okay no hold on, deep breath.]

Look, maybe you guys don't think this is as serious an issue as I do, but there havve officially been twwo people killed durin' a jump an' that's twwo people too many. Do wwe still have a communications creww? Wwho's on that, an' wwho is gonna vvolunteer to make incredibly fuckin' frequent public announcements as to wwhen a jump is about to happen? It's obvvious wwe need someone to do that, since wwe apparently keep screwwin' up wwithout them!

Be at the jump bay twwo hours early. An' you knoww wwhat? Go wwith your friends or your partners or wwhoevver you fuckin' havve aboard this ship. Implement a fuckin' buddy system here. Let's get accounted for before the fuckin' jump so this shit doesn't keep happenin'!

[...Okay, so the anger is kind of backsliding rapidly, and he doesn't mean for it to happen, but look. Two people have died during jumps - one of which made a very audible death post - and now there's apparently screaming inside the jump static, and... yeah. Eridan doesn't like any of that at all.]

An' wwhile I'm at it, on a more personal note, any'a my friends wwho wwanna check in an' tell me they're doin' just fine wwould be kind'a fuckin' appreciated right noww.

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[ trollbabby :c ]

It's not your fault. [ She just... feels like she needs to make sure he knows that. ]

Yes it is, because I apparently put too much fuckin' faith in people around here not bein' fuckin' stupid. [GHHHRGH is what he's saying, basically.] An' I wwas plannin' on tryin' to get people together to do a swweep'a the passenger quarters to make sure there wweren't any stragglers, but that clearly didn't fuckin' come to fruition.

It's not. You've been trying -- you've been doing more than most people when it comes to this. If you hadn't reminded everyone to get to the couches, maybe more than one person would have died.

I doubt it. It's not like I reminded them at any point that wwas actually useful. [Like the day of the jump, or something.]

Any reminder is a useful reminder.

Eridan, getting worked up about this isn't going to help anything. It's nobody's fault that those people are dead, except for whoever actually killed them. There's no point being mad at anybody else!

[ to be honest, she's a little surprised that he cares so much, though. she's never thought of him as heartless or anything, but she's never actually seen him care about a person that wasn't close to him before. ]

But the idea of sticking with friends is good! Maybe that way, at least one person will notice if someone they know is missing.

It's not gonna fuckin' hurt anybody, that's for coddamn sure - in case you havven't noticed, nobody is actually fuckin' reactin' to this beyond one or twwo posts that didn't actually tell people wwhat they should do.

[...okay, admission time. eridan's not so much worried for the people he doesn't know so much as he's worried for the ones he does know. as far as he knows, next jump it could be fef who doesn't get the announcement in time. that's pretty much enough for him to freak out.

...also okay he kind of likes a lot of people on this ship in his own, special way. but shh don't ruin that realization for him yet.]

I know, it's stupid. If you just get mad at them, though, they are not going to listen to you. Humans don't like to be yelled at, in my experience!

[ her "experience" being jade. but she likes to consider herself the expert on how to treat humans courteously, okay. ]

Nobody likes gettin' yelled at. [except equius but shh we're pretending he doesn't... exist] Just because it's not their favvorite fuckin' thing doesn't mean wwe shouldn't yell. Especially since nobody else is doin' it.

But it makes them even more unreceptive. They have a tendency to react irrationally to a lot of things!

If they're gonna react irrationally, then I'd rather start out yellin'. That wway, I don't sound like I'm escalatin' shit wwhen I get pissed off. [SHRUG look it makes sense to him]

l o l

u mad?

Yeah, I'm mad, wwhy the fuck shouldn't I be? Someone fuckin' died.

i didn't know him

you know him?

who fucking cares

Wait, "jump?" That was a "jump?"

[Have a long, exasperated sigh. Back to the introducing-people-to-life-here spiel.]

Yeah, that wwas a jump. Evvery, uh, month, wwe climb into the gravvity couches, then the ship goes into a jump, an' the couches are the only things keepin' us from becomin' splattered smears across the wwalkwway. Get used to them, they don't go awway.

[Harry knows that sigh all too well.]

So my choice is tube down my throat or grease smear.

Alive. Nice to see you're concerned, Eridan.

i wwouldnt call it concern
more like a wway to pass the time since clearly tryin to be useful is pointless
might as wwell see wwhat people are up to right

[lies]

What's wrong with trying to be useful? At least it helps to anyone who values their survival?

Jack and I are fine.

A'course you are, I wwouldn't be able to get rid'a you if I fuckin' tried. An' Jack can't evven get fuckin' space sickness because it'd make him look less coddamn impressivve, so a'course he's fine.

[His tone is flippant at most, which basically is all the "thanks for checking in bro" Ianto's going to get.]

You're always such a gem to talk to, Eridan. [He likes you, Eridan, really.] Jack tells me you were sick.

A little sick. [He sounds about as petulant as you can imagine.] Not like, dyin' or anythin' like that.

We were all dying, Eridan. Some of us were just going faster than others.

Yeah, wwell, some'a us are just better at not bein' sick.

[hmph.

...oh, fine.]

But I'm fine noww. Just like evveryone else.

[He's going to pretend that he didn't hack Ianto's conversation to listen in between the two of them and decides that he should speak up for himself]

Ianto's doing well. Don't worry about me, either. I always land on my feet.

[voice] eridan's guide to feeling like a total failure at everything

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text | she has no time for speaking, she is working

voice | besides you can't say "lol" out loud without sounding like a tool

text | and yet she does because is the worst

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