ataraxion | 2nd breakfast | video | served with copious amounts of alcohol.

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2nd breakfast | video | served with copious amounts of alcohol.

[ Well hello, Tranquility. If you were wondering what the ships resident pirate and saint were doing, the answer is fairly obvious as the video feed opens up to show one Captain Jack Sparrow and one Kitten in the same room together. Kitten's seated on Jack's lap, wedding-style, and has an entire bottle of wine to herself. Unsurprisingly, her face is rather flushed and judging by the amount of bottles littering the room, they've been drinking for quite a long time. ]
Dearest Tranquility, the Captain and I-- [ Hiccup ] --have come to a terrible conclusion. And that's that everyone has been very naughty and quite rude.

[Jack waves a finger around in a drunken fashion for a couple of seconds, before pointing it at Kitten. Except, no wait, he he's talking to a tiny screen and not the woman in his lap. Whoops, totally his bad. He's quick to fix that, and point at the screen instead.]
Aye. Aye. The woman be right. None of any of y'all have be helpful in the slightest.

In the slightest. This place is far too ooky spooky for myself and Mr. Captain--Sir Captain... [ She peers over at the other, trailing off, confused before shrugging ] Jack can only play big strong man for so long. So you have to be a dear and fill those of us who've lost track of time here into your dilly-dallying and vague paranoia.

[Woah now Kitten, woah there. You have said words Jack does not agree with. His displeasure is obviously seen in his face; his eyes widen and a frown tugs at the corner of his mouth. He raises both his hands--or rather, a hand and a bottle of rum--and sets out to correct her.]
Now, luv. This ain't nothing I ain't seen before. I've 'feated both Davy Jones and Death itself. This stuff ain't new.
[The next part, he directs to the screen, pointing with the rum bottle for emphasis.]
But that don't change nothin', crew. I've got no wits about me and no one's botherin' to explain anythin'.

[ Kitten raises an eyebrow, having been drinking when the other was talking, but she stops (and fuck manners, this is the Tranquility) and begins speaking again. ] So we have a big scary list with big scary names and big scary maps with big scary X's, but what are they for? And before that?

((OOC: Kitten and Jack, respectively. Be prepared for both of them answering and threadjacking. ))

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[Okay.]

Is wine being traded for information, or are you just out to tease the rest of us dreadfully sober individuals?

I'm very partial to this wine for myself but I suppose I could show you where I've stashed a few bottles.

[Have a pleasant British accent on the other end of the line.]

That would be lovely, although I'm afraid I can't give you much of an answer to your question about the big scary X's. Doesn't seem like anyone knows what they're for.

Let's hope for some liquor.

Edited 2012-06-12 05:17 (UTC)

[ This earns a giggle. A drunken giggle, but a giggle nonetheless. ]

Charming. Though we haven't hoarded all of it, just the-- [ another hiccup.] --finest.

We've got all the liquor you'd want mate. But that ain't gonna do you any good if you've no idea what's goin' on.

[facepalming]

This is so fuckin' mortifyin' for you an' you don't evven knoww it yet.

[SIGH]

Nobody fuckin' knowws, obvviously, elsewwise wwe wwould already be dealin' wwith it, don't you twwo think?

[Have a drunk, waving finger.]

Not necessarily, mate. There's been a lot of talkin' since I arrived here and not a lot of doin'.

Do you think that just because wwe're talkin' about it an' theorizin' an' shit means wwe actually knoww wwhat the fuck to do? Seriously. I'm seein' an awwful lot'a you sittin' around drunk wwith flighty wweird broads [kitten this is a compliment trust me] an' not a lot'a you doin' anythin' yourself.

I might be of use with th' doin' if you all would tell me exactly what's happenin'. But since you can't seem t'figure out what's goin' on despite livin' through it, there ain't much for me t'do now is there?

Wwell, obvviously wwe don't knoww exactly wwhat's happenin', other than the fact that some psychotic emoticon is tryin' to kill all'a us.

[ Kitten's far too busy wrapping herself around Jack to answer right away, but she sighs rather dramatically. ]

Serious serious serious. And the mazes, everything's so serious. I just wanted to know if there was any leeway.

This is a serious fuckin' situation, Kitten! A'course wwe're bein' fuckin' serious about it! Wwhat kinda leewway do you expect from psychos an' haunted ships?

Also, wwould you stop bein' so fuckin'... ovversharin' in public, it's dowwnright gross. [BLEH]

Oversharing? Darling, if you wanted oversharing--

[ Calm yourself. He's like 13 in troll years. Kitten just takes another swig. ]

Regardless, sweetums, there's no need for such a grumpy face.

[HMPH] There's alwways a need for grumpiness, wwhen people like you are wwanderin' around pretendin' like this is some kinda fuckin' game.

Innit it, though?

Attagirl.

needs more wine

Probably be easier to answer that if any of us had any idea.

[Have the raised eyebrows to end all raised eyebrows.]

A man died and you've no idea what's goin' on? I leave you all alone for two months, an' everythin' blows up!

Pretty sure everyone's been doing their best to find out what's going on.

Is that-- are you... are you a real pirate?

[He rolls his eyes. Why does everyone feel the need to ask that?]

Nah, mate. I'm the Queen of England.

I'm gonna take that as a definite yes, then.

[He spreads his arms to the side.]

Excellent observation, mate.

[ sobbing Chuck is so confused. ]

Have you tried to find your own spaceship to commandeer?

Having fun, Kitten? [ Bright grins, before he looks at Jack. Wow, dat accent. ] ...Do you have a parrot? Aren't pirates supposed to have parrots?

[Sexiest accent ever, amirite?

He makes a face.]

No. I know a man with a parrot, though.

[He takes a long drink of rum.]

Know a man with an undead monkey, too.

[ pretty much.

He cocks an eyebrow ]

Undead monkey? Like zombie monkey? Did it eat brains?

...Zombie Pirates sounds like a really bad B movie.

[Oh hey, movie yes. That's what people know him from. Except no, he has no idea what a "zombie" is.]

Zombie?

[This is the oddest look of all odd looks.]

Why would it eat brains?

Zombies? Like, the walking dead? Shit, you really are a genuine pirate. I guess you wouldn't have those.

Monkey aside, that is.

So that's where you've been.

[He gives a grin, spreading his arms to the side.]

No need t'be jealous, mate.

[ Kitten'll just flash a smile at that. ]

I think I am a little.

[He smirks, wrapping an arm around Kitten.]

As you should be, mate.

[ Have a wink, while Kitten plays with Jack's dreadlocks. The trinkets are so shiny, dammit. ]

I hope you aren't doing anything I wouldn't do.

[hint, that list is very small.]

[He's a bit surprised seeing both of them at once! It wouldn't do for him to leave either of them without at least a greeting. Or an apology? He's not sure how he might've been "naughty", but - ]

Sorry... that hasn't been a lot to explain.

[He raises an eyebrow.]

Sounds like there is, actually. No one's just willin' t'explain it.

Not everyone knows how to, either....

[Himself included, honestly.]

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2nd breakfast | video | served with copious amounts of alcohol.

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[ video ] slowest of the slow -

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and then I couldn't find this ;;