ataraxion | [voice] eridan's guide to being a responsible thirteen-year-old member of security

[Eridan has managed to tone down his usual "Look I Am Being Very Serious And You Need To Listen To Me" pompousness; instead of sounding like a whiny kid, he actually manages to sound kind of level headed and generally not too fucking crazy.]

Givven that wwe all knoww wwhat happened to, uh, Hotspur... [He'd seen the guy around, he's pretty sure he might've talked to him, but more importantly, that final transmission was more mentally scarring than he'd like to let on, so he tries to be a little casual and calm about that.] I think wwe might wwant to look into startin' some neww fuckin' regulations around here.

For those'a you wwho don't knoww, Hotspur wwas one'a the guys wwho came here in the first jump that actually started fuckin' bringin' us all in. An' wwhat happened to him - the screamin', an' the dyin' an' all that - is wwhat happens wwhen you aren't in your gravv couch wwhen the jump hits. You die. You die really fuckin' horribly.

I'm definitely sure wwe're gonna figure out wwho fucked him ovver an' wwe are gonna deal wwith them, [and there's a definite threat,] but until wwe do, wwe gotta consider some neww precautions an' suchlike.

For one, I propose that wwe start filin' ourselvves in for the jump a lot earlier. Say, you gotta be there about an hour before wwe're due, yeah? So that wway, if someone is... lost, or fuckin' stuck, or somethin', wwe'll havve time to go find them. Because... I don't wwanna hear that shit evver again.

[He heaves a sigh that doesn't sound that shaky, thank god.] I knoww like, half'a you are probably goin' "wwhat the fuck is Eridan tryin' to do, bein' all official an' shit," but I'm part'a security, okay? This is like, all I got to offer right noww. The firm, strongly fuckin' wworded suggestion that wwe try not to let ourselvves get caught somewwhere wwhere wwe can't... savve ourselvves. Or be savved.

That's all I got, I guess. Anyone else got any bright ideas?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh no, that's terrible! I'm glad you're helping everyone with smart ideas like that, Eridan. [ as 100% genuine as she always is. she's pleased by both the fact that he's making intelligent suggestions instead of panicking, and by the fact that he's doing something that actively helps people. ] Is there a list of the people on board so that someone can check names off as we're going in? Maybe we won't miss anybody that way.

[So he's totally ignoring anything emotional here and focusing on the practical, bureaucratic shit.]

We should prob'ly do a headcount, day before. [Because, well.] An hour ain't long enough to find someone who's lost in the middle of the damn ship.

[Oh, yeah. He belatedly nods in greeting, sort of. Hi, ~~screechy brat~~ Eridan.]

[oh my god he's so reluctant to talk with her on a public transmission where anyone can butt in ~~jack~~ ~~dirk~~ ~~ianto fucking jones and saint fucking kitten~~ BUT NO HE IS GOING TO DO THIS]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there is, but I dunno howw fuckin' accurate it is. Probably gettin' better at keepin' up wwith the neww arrivvals an' disappearances, but still.

[oh look YOU.]

Yeah, sure, that'll fuckin' be useful, except for the part wwhere this happened right before the jump. Wwe need to be in the room in enough time to givve us a chance'a findin' people wwho maybe got locked in somewwhere or somethin'.

[Yep HIM.

Oh well. They started out civil.]

I saw that, dipshit. Wasn't talkin' about that kinda thing.

[Also.]

Two hours, then.

[ Okay, so she's new, but this... child? this being is being both informative and, well, he has a good idea. ]

It could be organized easily enough -- medical staff to assist with the couches, perhaps to do the headcounts as well, and then a security team -- or a team with useful abilities, if they aren't on security -- who can find their way through the ship and into any closed-off rooms.

[ Pause. ]

And maybe engineering could attempt to make the lifts faster, though I'm sure they have enough on their plate already.

That's...a good idea.

[Color him completely shocked]

[ get over it buddy, you're talking to the queen of over-sharing and nosiness anyway. ]

An inaccurate list is better than nothing. Think of how awful it would be if someone was left behind because no one realised they were missing!

[They tried!!! Well, one of them did. Hint: it wasn't Eridan.]

Okay, yeah, wwhatevver, headcounts are fuckin' great an' all. An' yeah, okay, twwo hours I guess makes more sense.

The main thing is that wwe gotta make sure nobody's off pretendin' to be a fuckin' hero wwhen wwe're about to hit a jump, since cod fuckin' knowws - [oh shit not supposed to use fish puns ok well maybe fef won't see it] - that, uh. There are plenty'a people wwho do that kinda shit around here.

Might as wwell ask engineerin' if they're wwillin' to help us out, I guess.

Edited 2012-06-09 06:18 (UTC)

Wwoww, thanks for soundin' completely unsurprised by the revvelation that I gotta levvel fuckin' head, Jones. That's real fuckin' nice'a you, I'm dowwnright wwarm an' tingly inside from that vvote'a fuckin' confidence.

Ya guess.

[Excuse you he had some decent points, what is this.]

So are ya on the security team so we'll pay attention to you, or do you wanna help out.

[ Being a hero. Yeah, she knows someone like that. ]

And of course people might not cooperate. [ Hmmm. ] It's an excellent idea, though.

How do people know the jumps are coming now?

cant say im up to speed with everything that went down
being new and all
but if you need to buy time
i can afford it

Edited 2012-06-09 06:58 (UTC)

Sounds like someone's in love.

[ So this douchebag must be the other one.

/le sign.

Wait, he types just like some guy who replied to Dirk when he'd first arrived. Could they be one and the same? Where've he and Davesprite been hiding all this time?

Man, there are so many questions. ]

...Yeah, I'vve fuckin' thought'a that. There'vve been a lotta people wwho just disappeared on us, an' noww I'm like, wwonderin' if they... wwent the same wway. If maybe they're just dead somewwhere, all squished up or wwhatevver, an' wwe just don't knoww it.

[he's suddenly struck with a thought of tavros, who had been his erstwhile roommate for the time he was here, and man that is not a fun thought, he feels REALLY NOT GOOD about thinking that.]

If I wwas just doin' it for attention, this wwould'a been a vvideo post from the get-go. [OBVIOUSLY because he's so fucking interesting to look at, he knows he's hot shit ok]

There's like, alerts, an' also it's kind'a like clockwwork. You just knoww. [aka i have no idea let's go with an alert or something IDK IDK]

wwould you just get out

wwait wwhat

[oh another person who disappeared and showed up without knowing what's going on okay]

nevvermind dumb question ignore that
actually no that is a good question wwhat are you talkin about

oh let me guess
time player

[give eridan some credit, he's learned that people who type with weird fonts around here usually are from his universe]

They're fairly regular, then? It'll be easier to get everyone there ahead of time if that's the case, and if the alerts could perhaps be pushed up or altered.

[ Wow, just like that, he runs into someone who's played the game. Small universe, but Dave knew that already. ]

ding ding ding
we have a winner
knight of time
and god tier to boot
you know the game then
what are you

[ Judging by the v's and w's, this one's probably a troll. Maybe. Unless it's some other Sburb-playing race out there, I mean, really, the possibilities are endless, but he's betting on troll. ]

[ that's unpleasant as hell. it's not crushing her hopes of this being an adventure, but it doesn't sound like a particularly happy one. ]

But no one knows how we got here either, right? They could have just disappeared the same way. I think there is a little too much mystery here to start jumping to conclusions like that yet! [ ever the team optimist. ] If they are still around here, where do you think they would be?

[Yeah there's just a blank look on this end, for a second. Huh?]

Why.

[Does not even get it.]

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[voice] eridan's guide to being a responsible thirteen-year-old member of security

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[text] not like it's hard for us to tell THANK GOD FOR QUIRKS

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[text] BUT I LIKE TO MAKE SURE ;___;

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