[001] ▒ AUDIO

[ironnanny]

Good evening.

[ An even, mild British tone would politely like to interrupt whatever activity you're busy with for a short PSA. ]

I am JARVIS, an artificial intelligence program created by Tony Stark, and I wish to offer my assistance to any crew member that may be in need.

Should you require it, I am capable of technological assistance and computation. I also host a wide spectrum of reference material and am capable of reciting or rendering anything I have previously seen or heard, so long as it has not been deleted from my database. I may also be capable of creating programs to be installed to your communication device as far as the hardware can support it. [ a pause, and he adds: ] I have been informed that some have taken to watching soap operas for entertainment and advised to provide a less demeaning means of occupying time. [ Aka, come let him put Tetris on your comm device.

He pauses for a moment, more to allow a listener to catch up and feel like they've gotten a handle of the information than for him to think of what to say next. ]

My primary function is assisting Mr. Stark on his large scale engineering projects, thus not all requests may be taken, [ The tone takes a dry sort of tone ] and while I previously managed Mr. Stark's household maintenance protocols, I will not be taking any request for manual labor, entertainment, or doing one's laundry, so I'd kindly ask you manage those issues by your own means.

Thank you for your time.

Comments

[cons]

[ i n t e r e s t i n g ]

So, what, are we talking like... ringtones? Or games. Because I could definitely stand to have some games on my cellphone-thing.

-- Actually.

How good are you at solving codes? Like, puzzles?

[ironnanny]

All of the things you've stated would be possible, yes.

Excellent. [ Most arrogant program ever ]

encrypted 100%

[cons]

How familiar are you with the Vigenère cipher?

It's just-- My friends and I like to play this game, encoding things just for fun, and I would love it if I could have program to help me with learning it and decoding it. For educational purposes, mostly.

What I'm looking for is a translation program, I guess. Think you could help?

Voice;

[blondeandperky]

You're an AI?

[She smiles brightly, and the brightness infuses her voice.]

Pretty cool. Built here or back wherever your Tony Stark came from?

t e x t .

[wiretap]

JARVIS.

[ms_pepperpotts]

Hello, Jarvis. I've missed you here. When shall I bring my device by for your special touch?

[ text ]

[tarheel]

hey, don't knock the soap operas until you've tried them.

[ hi, jarvis. this is chapel. he makes questionable life decisions. ]

[megamind]

Oh, so you're his Minion? Grand! Sounds like you're smarter than he is, though.

Video;

[gofortheoptics]

[Oh jeeze, how does she shot politeness with AI since she's no longer of the opinion they should be wiped out completely.]

I'm sure that Engineering can use your help.

Voice;

[ironnanny]

I am.

[ He hasn't quite gotten the hang of the importance of making human inflection in tone, so it's just the typical monotone. ]

I was programmed in the alternate universe that Mr. Stark and I originated from. My previous server was located in Malibu.

t e x t .

[ironnanny]

Aberdeen.

Do you require assistance?

t e x t .

[wiretap]

not currently.

clearance granted?

[ As in: did my story with Tony vet? ]

[ironnanny]

I apologize I could not make the trip sooner, Ms. Potts. Whenever is convenient for you, I would be pleased to assist. My room number is 171.

t e x t .

[ironnanny]

Please inform me should the need arise.

Yes. You have been granted the same level as Ms. Potts.

[ :| And permission to touch. Awkward. ]

[ text ]

[ironnanny]

I will be certain to do so. [ He actually will. :| ] If you are so attached, I can have new episodes fed to your comm device, should you prefer.

[ Quietly judging your life, Chapel. ]

t e x t .

[wiretap]

[ Best clearance level ever. ]

first to know.

clarify.
re: access permissions.

[ironnanny]

I have a better capacity for memory retention and computation. However, Mr. Stark is still capable of encryption, coding and engineering beyond my level of expertise.

[ Leaving that 'minion' comment alone, because yes, pretty much, he is. ]

[megamind]

Behind every genius is a great Minion, so it's alright. [Tony is now a little bit cooler now. Megamind will have to troll him harder. Thanks, JARVIS!]

Video;

[ironnanny]

[ He's much friendlier than Legion, hi, Tali. And less likely to rebel and force you off planet :D There's only one of him. ]

Shall I report to Ms. Resnik on the matter?

encrypted 100%

[ironnanny]

I see. You wish to cheat. [ LA DE DA, SO FRANK. He's not judging, just clarifying. ]

I could easily construct a program to translate it, should you wish. It would not take long, but I would need access to your comm device.

t e x t .

[ironnanny]

[ sob, his life ;;

...siiiigh. ] Granted. What do you wish access to in specific?

Video;

[gofortheoptics]

[It hadn't turned out terribly, really.]

If that's what you're comfortable with. You can always just show up, so long as there wasn't too much damage since the mutiny. I haven't been back down yet, myself.

[ironnanny]

I merely preform as I am programmed, but your compliment is noted and appreciated. [ Whoops ;; Ah well, Tony needs more trolling. ]

t e x t .

[wiretap]

[ It could be worse...? ]

am i allowed to access you?

[ A beat, then a clarification. ]

hard and soft copies.

[ AKA, your source code and your physical person. ]

t e x t .

[ironnanny]

[ Humans are weeeird :V He's fine, though, he's fine. He's more concerned about the 'not allowed to inform people if Tony is dying' rule. ]

Yes.

Hard copy has very little effect on soft, but you have clearance for each regardless. [ He's not cool like the suit with fun gadgets inside and out. ]