ataraxion | 002 -- video;

A right. Sure. [ Because that's how this goes: You hurt someone and then you find them and tell them you're sorry -- maybe you even mean it -- and they're scared of you but they want to think the best of you, so they forgive you, even if they don't really mean it, even if it's not what's best for them. That's where thinking you have a right gets you. ]

I'm not anything to her, so I can't tell you to stay away. [ But, his expression adds, you should stay away. ]

[ Alayne does not know if it is against better judgment to sit and read and listen to what people say. But this is a moment for Robb to be strong and Alayne will not leave him to face such things on his own. Though she is still battered and worn, she can be brave (she must).

There is part of her that is gladdened to see others willing to speak for Magneto's innocence, though there is another part of her that bristles like animal (hackles raised) whenever she hears his voice. She has chosen to remain silent because her voice is not meant for this debate and any appeals she makes either for or against would undercut the kingliness of Robb's claim. But at Tommy's words, she cannot stay silent, though her message is not meant for the eyes of others. Instead of responding, she sends a note to his communicator direct. His inbox pings. ONE NEW MESSAGE. It reads: ]

Tommy-

I have heard your voice over the speaking box.
And I have heard the things it says.
But you must not say such things.
For such things are false.

Please.
You are not nothing.

Yours,
Alayne Stone.

Edited 2012-04-30 14:49 (UTC)

[ It's hard not to get obsessed over your last words to someone. Tommy's lost enough people in his life that he's almost used to it now. (His last words to his mom: "Try to get some rest." His last words to Manny: "Get down.")

It was a relief to hear that Alayne had survived, that medical help must have reached her in time or that her pop was worrying too much about an injury that wasn't so bad, like fathers are theoretically supposed to do. But actually hearing from her is a relief in its own way because it means he doesn't have to spend the rest of his life thinking hard about whether there was something better he could've said than Sorry.

There's a long pause before he sends back a reply. It takes him a while, this time, to think of what he wants to say. ]

i only meant youve got family to speak for you and you can make up your own mind if you want to see him you dont need me doing that for you its good youre okay

[ Last words are a curious beast, aren't they? As young as she is, she has known more than her fair share of them, having been only privy to some (only Cat) while delivering others (know you're loved). If pressed she would admit not remembering the last thing Tommy had said to her before parting ways, though she does recall a horrible feeling like rejection, like bitterness (like of course, of course said with a voice cold as winter; Alayne remembers her own last words well enough).

The impulse is to confess to him, to tell Tommy no, again you are wrong; I am not all right. Perhaps if she did he would come to her and protect her, embrace her out of pity or loyalty or sentiment, and give her space to be less than strong. But that is a child's weakness and Alayne Stone is not a child.

At length:

Tommy-

It is true, I've family here.
As well as a mind and a voice with which to give its thought breath.
But, in truth, I would have you speak for me, readily.

Were you to give yourself credit enough to accept.

Yours,
Alayne Stone.

[ Tommy spends some time frowning at her second message. Part of it sounds like stuff teachers used to say about applying himself and living up to his potential and other stuff that he didn't listen to much as a kid because he had wrestling and a crappy home life, and it never seemed to apply to him very much. (Not like Brendan.)

But the other part's more obviously good. He's glad she's not angry at him for stepping in. He didn't even think about whether she would be or not until that first message showed up on his comm. ]

you ever need help or anything, you call me

[ It's not actually an order, but Tommy feels stupid attaching something like "okay?" at the end. She will or she won't and either way, he'll do what he can to make it so she doesn't have to. ]

[ No, she is not angry. If anything his message inspires a feeling inside her (not hope, not happiness, but the glimmer of something akin to it). Were someone to ask her Alayne Stone may confess that she does not find herself worthy of such loyalty. Robb and Bran, their souls are blameless and their names are still the harkening of something honorable and good; but Alayne, she is a bastard and a liar besides.

I am no liege lord, she should say. To pledge to me would be a waste of a good knight.

But that is not what Alayne says (for Alayne is selfish and frightened and still the promise of not needing to brave is an allurement to her weary heart). ]

Tommy-

You say that I should call you, if ever I am in need.
Is it to be a summons?
In this, do you offer me your banner?

Yours,
Alayne Stone.

[ There's an even longer pause now than the last two times. It's not the first time Alayne's said something that Tommy hasn't understood -- an ever-present reminder of the very different world she comes from -- but usually there are enough clues around it that he can figure it out. This time, though... ]

what do you mean

[ Some of her satisfaction is tempered, albeit by but a sliver. It would not be the first time such a question is asked for her, but Tommy is a warrior, a soldier of some kind, and so there must be something that she can say to make herself understood. ]

Tommy-

Those that swear loyalty to a lord offer him their banner.
It is a pledge, until death, that they will act in preservation of their lord's name
and their lord's person, and cause.
But I am no lord,
not even a lady by rights,
even though my father is Lord Protector of the Vale.
So perhaps I misspeak in asking,
for a such an oath is not my right to hold.

Though know, were you to offer, I would accept it.
For whatever meager worth it has,
my trust is yours.

Yours,
Alayne Stone

Edited 2012-04-30 19:20 (UTC)

[ Tommy took an oath once, when he first joined up. He promised to defend the States against its enemies and obey his C.O. and be faithful to the country he was supposed to serve. Of course, that was before the country he was supposed to protect dropped bombs on him, killed Manny. Tommy's still not totally sure he was wrong to break that oath, but he also wonders if you can feel that way about an oath -- that sometimes it isn't wrong to break it -- if you should even be taking them in the first place.

But it's Alayne asking, and he's impressed, a bit, that she's got this much spine still after what happened. ]

not sure how much my oath is worth anyway but between you and me i can promise

[ She has some estimation of what his oath is worth. Not the entirety of his story — Alayne is not so foolish as to presume — but the overall gesture is clear to her and she believes (blood to bone) that Tommy is a good and honorable person.

Again there is that sense of undeserving, an impulse that keeps her from switching on the device to send him a message that bears not only her voice but her face. She is pale, almost bloodless looking compared to her usually pink-cheeked complexion and the light that normally would dance in Alayne's eyes is dulled and flat, as if seen through the muddied screen of her own suffering. Some effort has been made to make her presentable. Her hair, brunt brown and loose, has been brushed in an attempt to tame it though the fact that she wears it down now makes Alayne look younger than she would normally.

A collar of bruises ring her neck, angry striations from where Magneto had held her high against the bedroom wall and though she makes efforts to hold her cloak closed and hide them, the evidence of them peaks out along the line of her jaw. Purple and mottled and ugly.

She makes no effort to smile, that princess' courtesy gone for the time being. Quietly, carefully (her eyebrows lifting in expectation): ]

Truly— do you swear it?

[ The implication is that this is more than simply a yes, that this is something profound and weighty and that Tommy should not answer unless he is certain. ]

[ Tommy's seen people in all kinds of stages of beat up. He's seen more than his share of dead people too. So there's no reason for him to be surprised by how she looks. He saw all the blood; of course, she'd look like she'd been through something shitty. But it takes him back for a moment and then he's not as smooth at getting the video feed flipped on as he'd like to be.

But he manages after a moment, and he sets his jaw, in a way that looks like stubbornness but mostly just means that he means it. ]

Yeah. I swear it.

[ She smiles.

It is a far cry any real smile — the edges of it are too uncertain, her eyes are too wet, and her lips waver as if she's to burst into weeping at any moment — but in its way, the smile is brave (just as, in her way, Alayne is brave too). As a child, Sansa had understood the meaning of banners to be something about status and lordliness; but here, with Tommy, Alayne sees them differently, as if somehow his pledge has illuminated something deeply buried. Something about loyalty and faith, something about care.. It is, in that respect, a gift greater than arms. It is proof that or hope (as foolish as hope may be) that perhaps, perhaps Sansa hadn't been so foolish.

(Perhaps men can be good. And in that goodness, live.) ]

And— [ she struggles, swallowing down the tears she feels rising there in her throat. ] And as your liege lady, I swear to you, Tommy. If ever you are wronged, I will do all in my power to set it to rights.

[ She swallows and tastes an edge of anxiousness. Bastards are not to be given banners, but Alayne's willfulness (her neediness) refuses to turn Tommy away. Would Petyr punish her for such hubris? Would he count this oath to be a misstep? ] I swear— in the Light of the Seven, in the shadow of the great weirwood. Before the old gods and the new.

I will not squander your fealty.

[ She's a tough kid. Tommy can't figure out exactly what it is she's been through to get tough -- because it doesn't just happen on its own -- other than the war back home she'd mentioned once. It's good, though. Maybe kids aren't supposed to be tough, or aren't supposed to have to be, but Tommy thinks that it's probably better if they are because there are a whole lot of people out there who don't care.

He nods at her in a way that doesn't look any more solemn than usual but then, Tommy's usual is pretty solemn already.

It's a good promise -- to watch out for each, to have each other's backs -- and Tommy tries to ignore the feeling that says maybe he shouldn't have made it because he might just let her down again because it's still a good promise. ]

That means if you need me, you call. I'll do what I can.

[ Once, Sansa Stark had dreamt to be a lady, a proper lady. Not just the daughter of a lord, but the wife of one, responsible for the happiness of a holdfast's people, charged with embodying dignity so that the lower-folk that lived in the shade of her family's sigil would have a dignity of their own. Alayne knows that this is not meant to be her lot in life, but just as Bran could perhaps be a boy again, just as Robb could be king and live once more— perhaps in this place Alayne could hold something for her own. Be capable of some small morsel of goodness, a bright spot to somehow make amends for the blemish that had been Sansa's end.

Again, Alayne nods, more carefully and when she speaks the words are not her but his (an attempt to speak as he speaks, so that the oath is made on terms that both can embrace and understand. ] It means— [ Alayne recites the words with an uncertain delicateness. ] —if you need me, you also— call. And yes— the Starks, my father and House Baelish, we shall all— [ She clears her throat. ] —'do what we can'.

[ Even if Tommy doesn't quite get oaths -- and is definitely not as used to giving them as people from Alayne's word clearly are -- the strange way she says the words and the fact that they so closely match what he just said is enough to tip him off to what she's doing. He snorts lightly, not quite a laugh but a vague sign of amusement at least, as it occurs to him for the first time that he must sound just as strange to her as she does to him. ]

It's a deal then. [ It may not be as poetic as swearing in the Light of the Seven or by the gods, but it has as much meaning for Tommy. He trusts himself to keep a promise a lot more than he trusts God to. ]

[ Alayne nods, her eyebrows lifting at the middle and though this is perhaps meant to make her look hopeful, it gives her the appearance of great grief instead — as if she's about to start crying at any moment, her eyes wet as ever. The only thing that betrays her true sentiment is the faint curve that continues to waver at her mouth. (For him, for Sansa's brothers, for Petyr — I can be brave.)

Delicately, she nods, though the gesture makes her necklace of bruises aches and so Alayne flinches, whatever poise she may have garnered on his behalf flickering and then sputtering out. ]

Have— [ Another wince, then she lowers her voice. ] Have you a sigil?

[ In contrast, Tommy's eyebrows gather together as he tries to think up something. Why're you asking? or What's the point? are both questions he'd usually want to ask, but she's been through so much already recently that maybe he's ready to let her have this one easily. Without fighting, since she's fought enough already.

It takes a moment, though, because it's not like he's got a sigil right on hand. The eagle, globe and anchor's not his to wear anymore; it wouldn't feel right. There might even be something way back for the Conlon family, but he's not sure he's ready to wear that. So in the end, he goes with the only symbol he can think of that still means anything to him. ]

We got this one back home. Lot of people wear it. Three diamonds with a circle 'round it.

[ For a moment Erik simply watches. He's paid enough attention to the number of conversations that are going on right now, well aware that Erik is not the only one that gives half a shit about Alayne. There's Robb, whose own relationship with her seems to be his biggest interest, and then everyone else, but he shouldn't be surprised; Alayne deserves that attention. ]

Are you sure you're nothing to her? [ For a moment it's Erik defending himself, and now the conversation's segued towards Tommy instead. It's how Erik works, revealing bits of himself over everything else. ] Asking me if I had the guts to defend myself certainly implies otherwise.

[ Between Tyke and Alayne's message, between how Robb Stark was handling things and the number of people who seemed convinced that Magneto couldn't have done what Robb claimed, Tommy's anger is starting to ebb a little. The fact that Erik doesn't seem interested in getting angry back makes it difficult to stay properly furious too.

So while the anger isn't gone, it sounds, for a moment, more sullen than anything else: ]

Doesn't mean I don't care what happens to her. [ Which was probably obvious at this point. ]

[ It is obvious, and Erik takes it to heart. Because while he himself cares for Alayne, evidenced by the fact that he essentially outed himself, rather than hide behind an audio conversation, or even filters, Erik cares. And that much is evident here and he doesn't need to push for Tommy to admit it either. ]

No, you don't. It's a good thing I have no intention of hurting her. [ Because he knows a threat when he sees one. ]

002 -- video;

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