[Eric has been lurking in the shadows behind Thranduil while he makes the preparations he deems necessary for this post that he's making. It's only once he's putting his communications device away that Eric steps forward and joins him.]
[He's not surprised to see Eric. Even if it weren't for his Elven hearing, he is much more sensitive to their bond now. While he can't tell where Eric is like Eric can tell where he is, it's still hard to be surprised by him.]
[Eric shrugs slightly, his whole demeanor pretty casual as he settles in beside the other. Of course Thranduil is not worried at sending his people off to help with whatever trouble has raised itself again. He has him there, after all. This is not thought smugly, it is merely a fact. Of course, the people themselves are another matter.
A thousand years ago, when he was king himself, his authority was not questioned. His men were loyal to their last. As Sheriff of Area 5 in Louisiana, however...] Your people are much more obedient than mine are. Then again, I would like to see how you fare, with a territory of vampires to watch over. [Being a Sheriff, it's not as easy as it looks. Especially not in the modern day.]
I would not. I became king because I am my father's son, not because I am a conquerer. I have no taste for ruling those who do not wish to be ruled, and would not try. Treacherous vassals are as dangerous as enemies and to place oneself among them is nonsense.
[Eric smirks at Thranduil's words, letting out a breath that would probably be a chuckle if it had gone further.]
One would argue that it's generally not the case that you opt into placing yourself among "treacherous vassals", as you say. [He'd been ordered into being a Sheriff by the Vampire Queen of Louisiana, for example. Because of his age and experience. Believe him, he had had his reservations as well.]
I will put it plain, then: I do not wish to be compared to you, nor any other ruler. That my experience is different makes it no less legitimate, and I take offense that you imply so.
[Wow apparently so. Eric doesn't quite realize the minefield he's walked into here. He understands that he's hit something of a nerve though, so he does ease up a little, unable to keep from raising an eyebrow a little as he does.]
[...Thranduil has the feeling Eric would have said that even without the blood-bond. His mouth snaps shut for a moment as he regards the vampire coolly. No, it wasn't Eric provoking that reaction. Thinking about what has him so tense triggers another spurt of words.]
Some fool who refuses to respect my military background now has himself and a good many others locked up on the bridge waiting for anything to come upon them. He led them there, against my advice, and he has the audacity to disrespect my background. I, who have kept a kingdom of elves alive for thousands of years, even after our own woods turned against us, even in the land of darkness itself, was no one he wished to hear, because I clearly had no knowledge or thought whatever given to our situation.
[It helps. He's feeling better. But there's more underneath, a twinge of guilt as well as anger. As if he's trying to convince himself there was nothing he could have done to stop this.]
[Thranduil would be right about that. Although the blood bond does help with the more subtle emotions. The guilt, he's getting a little flavor of that as well, especially standing as close to the other as he is. Eric's eyebrow remains raised, albeit for a different reason.]
So you knew about his plans to stage this little rebellion of his, before they had come into play. [As much a statement as it is a question. He's kind of getting that feeling, at least.]
[Thranduil has started pacing. Occasionally he makes frustrated gestures to emphasize his words.]
Only when he announced them. He had nothing but contempt for aught I had to say, as though I was part of the poison that spreads through the ship. Then in his madness he convinced people to follow him into the trap. And now I have sent my people, few as they are, my son among them, to mend his mistake. Why? We are friends, he tells me. He believed me when others would not. I am a duped fool, Eric, and he benefits from it. What use has be been to me? He listened to my troubles once. He has been otherwise, as an ally, utterly useless. I have sent out all my own resources to him. Why? If he does not come out, it will serve him right. Perhaps it is even what he wanted--to die, and take others with him. He is mad enough to think it the kinder fate.
[Eric crosses his arms as he watches Thranduil pace, trying to shut the restlessness out of his own mind. He would comment that Thranduil is foolishly sending his resources out to help someone who seems to care very little about him or his opinion, from what he's said here, but that might not go over all that well. And anyway, there isn't any sign that sending help would be dangerous to the help. It's the mutineers that are the ones in trouble, shut in as they are.]
I do not care. Not as you say. I am frustrated that a possible resource proved unfruitful despite persistent watering. I send aid not because I fear for him, but because it is what I ought to do. Perhaps it is wrong of me to care very little if Nathan should die from this, in fact to think it may be good for us all if he does. But why, Eric, why must mortals throw away their lives when they already live so little? Is it worthwhile to invest in them at all, keen as they are to destroy themselves?
[Eric shrugs. He is perhaps not the best person to ask about whether or not he should be trusting in human mortals, considering who and what he is.]
One would perhaps question why you're even aiding him this much at all. He brought this destruction upon himself. Is it because he's mortal? Or is it because of those he will bring down with him, should they fail?
It is because it is right. By every reason, I should allow each and every one of them to remain trapped and be no further nuisance to the rest of us, but such are the words of the Enemy. [Either Enemy.] It is not for me to say that only those useful to me are deserving of life.
["Because it is right."] There is no such thing as right or wrong. There is only survival or death. Godric taught me that. Life as a vampire taught me that. [Eric regards him steadily.] He says that was a lie. Sometimes, I am not so sure. Especially when humans get themselves in as much trouble as they do.
[For the first time in a significant amount of time, considering how long he's been on the Tranquility, images of Sookie spring to mind.]
You have learnt a poor lesson, then, and do not even question its hypocrisy. You have only placed new values on right and wrong, that survival is right and death is wrong. Then answer me this: if your life was not threatened and mine was, would you put yourself in peril to save me?
[Eric does not respond verbally at first. He merely stays very still and regards the other levelly. You are asking him a difficult question that has to do with feelings, Thranduil, and nothing to do with logic or right and wrong. Logic, he can argue all day. Feelings, friendship, bonds and personal connections? Those are a different matter entirely.]
If you did not, [Thranduil continues softly,] you know, by whatever code you hold, that it would be wrong. By the one you speak, you ought to let me die. But what you know is different.
It is different because you are mine... [Eric protests, but it is weak. There are many people that he would just let die of their own stupidity. Thranduil is one of the few exceptions. Perhaps it is not as black and white as he is presenting. But even if he didn't have Thranduil to sit with in this moment, he still wouldn't be helping out on the bridge. Not unless Godric told him he should.]
And because I am yours, it is right. Doing what is right would entail self-sacrifice, which is a thing opposed to your own definition of right and wrong where right is survival. That is to say, right and wrong are not determined by you, but by something else. Whatever you will call it--love, duty, friendship.
I am yours, Eric. And I am King. Everyone in my domain is mine. My allies are mine. My future allies are mine as well, and some may well be on the bridge. Shall I cut that thread even before it is tied? One of them may hold the life of my son in his hands one day, and remember that I did not come to his aid. Not because I had quarrel with him, but because I was utterly selfish and short-sighted. Word spreads quickly round this ship. One act of selfishness quickly overrides any number of acts of generosity. If they think poorly of me, they will not listen to me. My power to protect my own is lessened, as is my power to protect them. I cannot refuse help no matter who slights me or how badly, for if I do, I wrong those I am sworn to protect. I place myself in a seat of judgment, and give myself the power to grant life and death by no code other than my own whims. I am a poor king.
Unless I cling to a right and wrong that is known by others, that is old as time itself. For if I decide that I shall determine what is right and wrong, I will surely fail.
[Eric is quiet for a long moment, taking in everything it is that Thranduil has shared with him in that moment. Taking in the philosophy that Thranduil has shared with him. He wishes he could say that he could think the same way as the other, that he could be as selfless and just but he can't. Not anymore. And he can't even use his age to claim that it's that that makes him think that way, because he knows that Thranduil is older than him and still is better. Kinder. Perhaps it is because he is vampire. His life has been long and hard and full of death and suffering. It is hard to be positive in the face of it all.]
[Thranduil gives Eric a disbelieving blink, as if amazed that half of what he is saying is going over his audience's head.]
When you say that, you give up. You have told yourself you can never be like that, and there is no point in trying, because I am better and I am able to try. I am not better than you, Eric. The things you say with your mouth I have thought in my heart. Anger and hatred, cold bitterness like black poison. I have been wronged many times and in many ways, often by the same people who chose to believe they could decide what is right and wrong. And when the sons of Fëanor slaughtered my kin before my eyes twice, it was wrong whether they believed in wrong or not. I believe in evil, Eric, because I have drowned in it. Steeped in it so much that I ceased to believe good could come of anything in the world, for nothing could be so potent as the evil. And yet I knew, for all the hatred and anger I bore, that I would not become that which I abhorred. I am not better than you, Eric of the North. I have only chosen differently.
[Eric looks away, across the oxygen garden. For all of Thranduil's pretty words, Eric is fairly certain that there is a difference between the pair of them, a difference that Thranduil does not realize, nor is he quite certain that he wants him to realize it either. Thranduil speaks of watching his kin slaughtered before his eyes. How many lives has Eric taken himself, to achieve his goals? And he has no remorse for such acts, not then, and not now, looking back. Merely the means to meet an end goal. Perhaps that is not evil by definition, but in terms of right and wrong action...
He does not "give up". He's a Viking, god damn it. But they have chosen differently. Thranduil chose not to become that which he abhorred, after watching his family slaughtered. Eric chose to plot revenge. For the vampire that killed his family, he infiltrated his trust. Killed the person he loved the most because it would hurt the most. Tricked him into walking out into broad daylight and then chained them together, prepared to meet the sun with him because it was the only way to kill him and he had no forgiveness for what Russell did. And then, once Sookie saved the pair of them from the sunlight, he decided to bury him alive in concrete. Because he could not bear the thought of him finding peace or inner redemption in the afterlife. So yes, it could be said that they have chosen rather differently indeed.
Eric does not voice any of this aloud. He knows that he has been cruel. He knows that Godric, or the lingering presence of him attached to his bloodline, did not approve. There's no way in hell he can see Thranduil approving either. So instead he responds:]
I do not regret that I am who I am. That I am what I am. I do not regret the choices I have made. [Finally, he looks back at his companion, and if there is a note of challenge in his expression or tone as he continues, it is only just barely there at all.] And I do not give up on myself. Or my own. [Selfless, he is not. No, he won't be out there helping strangers be saved from their own recklessness. But should Thranduil, or his in turn need the aid, yes. Right or wrong, he will be there.]
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And so they will just listen?
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[He's not surprised to see Eric. Even if it weren't for his Elven hearing, he is much more sensitive to their bond now. While he can't tell where Eric is like Eric can tell where he is, it's still hard to be surprised by him.]
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A thousand years ago, when he was king himself, his authority was not questioned. His men were loyal to their last. As Sheriff of Area 5 in Louisiana, however...] Your people are much more obedient than mine are. Then again, I would like to see how you fare, with a territory of vampires to watch over. [Being a Sheriff, it's not as easy as it looks. Especially not in the modern day.]
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One would argue that it's generally not the case that you opt into placing yourself among "treacherous vassals", as you say. [He'd been ordered into being a Sheriff by the Vampire Queen of Louisiana, for example. Because of his age and experience. Believe him, he had had his reservations as well.]
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[Someone's touchy.]
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Something is bothering you. I can tell.
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Some fool who refuses to respect my military background now has himself and a good many others locked up on the bridge waiting for anything to come upon them. He led them there, against my advice, and he has the audacity to disrespect my background. I, who have kept a kingdom of elves alive for thousands of years, even after our own woods turned against us, even in the land of darkness itself, was no one he wished to hear, because I clearly had no knowledge or thought whatever given to our situation.
[It helps. He's feeling better. But there's more underneath, a twinge of guilt as well as anger. As if he's trying to convince himself there was nothing he could have done to stop this.]
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So you knew about his plans to stage this little rebellion of his, before they had come into play. [As much a statement as it is a question. He's kind of getting that feeling, at least.]
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Only when he announced them. He had nothing but contempt for aught I had to say, as though I was part of the poison that spreads through the ship. Then in his madness he convinced people to follow him into the trap. And now I have sent my people, few as they are, my son among them, to mend his mistake. Why? We are friends, he tells me. He believed me when others would not. I am a duped fool, Eric, and he benefits from it. What use has be been to me? He listened to my troubles once. He has been otherwise, as an ally, utterly useless. I have sent out all my own resources to him. Why? If he does not come out, it will serve him right. Perhaps it is even what he wanted--to die, and take others with him. He is mad enough to think it the kinder fate.
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And yet you still care. Despite it all.
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One would perhaps question why you're even aiding him this much at all. He brought this destruction upon himself. Is it because he's mortal? Or is it because of those he will bring down with him, should they fail?
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[For the first time in a significant amount of time, considering how long he's been on the Tranquility, images of Sookie spring to mind.]
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For you? ...yes. [But there are not many he would say the same for on this ship, Thranduil, surely you know that.]
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I am yours, Eric. And I am King. Everyone in my domain is mine. My allies are mine. My future allies are mine as well, and some may well be on the bridge. Shall I cut that thread even before it is tied? One of them may hold the life of my son in his hands one day, and remember that I did not come to his aid. Not because I had quarrel with him, but because I was utterly selfish and short-sighted. Word spreads quickly round this ship. One act of selfishness quickly overrides any number of acts of generosity. If they think poorly of me, they will not listen to me. My power to protect my own is lessened, as is my power to protect them. I cannot refuse help no matter who slights me or how badly, for if I do, I wrong those I am sworn to protect. I place myself in a seat of judgment, and give myself the power to grant life and death by no code other than my own whims. I am a poor king.
Unless I cling to a right and wrong that is known by others, that is old as time itself. For if I decide that I shall determine what is right and wrong, I will surely fail.
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...you are better than I am. [he says, finally]
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When you say that, you give up. You have told yourself you can never be like that, and there is no point in trying, because I am better and I am able to try. I am not better than you, Eric. The things you say with your mouth I have thought in my heart. Anger and hatred, cold bitterness like black poison. I have been wronged many times and in many ways, often by the same people who chose to believe they could decide what is right and wrong. And when the sons of Fëanor slaughtered my kin before my eyes twice, it was wrong whether they believed in wrong or not. I believe in evil, Eric, because I have drowned in it. Steeped in it so much that I ceased to believe good could come of anything in the world, for nothing could be so potent as the evil. And yet I knew, for all the hatred and anger I bore, that I would not become that which I abhorred. I am not better than you, Eric of the North. I have only chosen differently.
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He does not "give up". He's a Viking, god damn it. But they have chosen differently. Thranduil chose not to become that which he abhorred, after watching his family slaughtered. Eric chose to plot revenge. For the vampire that killed his family, he infiltrated his trust. Killed the person he loved the most because it would hurt the most. Tricked him into walking out into broad daylight and then chained them together, prepared to meet the sun with him because it was the only way to kill him and he had no forgiveness for what Russell did. And then, once Sookie saved the pair of them from the sunlight, he decided to bury him alive in concrete. Because he could not bear the thought of him finding peace or inner redemption in the afterlife. So yes, it could be said that they have chosen rather differently indeed.
Eric does not voice any of this aloud. He knows that he has been cruel. He knows that Godric, or the lingering presence of him attached to his bloodline, did not approve. There's no way in hell he can see Thranduil approving either. So instead he responds:]
I do not regret that I am who I am. That I am what I am. I do not regret the choices I have made. [Finally, he looks back at his companion, and if there is a note of challenge in his expression or tone as he continues, it is only just barely there at all.] And I do not give up on myself. Or my own. [Selfless, he is not. No, he won't be out there helping strangers be saved from their own recklessness. But should Thranduil, or his in turn need the aid, yes. Right or wrong, he will be there.]
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