ataraxion | ( 01 ) video ❥ the meek shall inherit you know the book doesn't lie it's not a question of merit

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( 01 ) video ❥ the meek shall inherit you know the book doesn't lie it's not a question of merit

[ wassup, tranquility. have a blonde teenager peering at you in a manner that best could be described as 'dreamy'. her hamster's still on the wheel, so to speak, but it just took a shitload of dramamine and it's going to take a little nap here in the shavings at the bottom. it's just resting its eyes, really. don't worry about it, go on with your business.

she has two Very Important announcements, so it's time for extra inflection. her voice is a whole three quarters of a notch or so above a monotone: obviously srs bsns is to be discussed. her speech sounds a little stilted, almost like she practiced it. ]

I'm sorry for Lord Tubbington. [ CRAZY SPINNING CAMERA ACTION as she flips her device to illustrate this point with a quick closeup of her entirely healthy looking cat, who is currently sprawled out in an untidy, napping heap on her bed. ] He has boundary issues. I'm making a banner to confront him about the pain his choices cause his friends and family now, but I need markers before I can finish it. [ what is she doing without actual supplies? it's a mystery. ]

And if this is the moon, where are the pies?

[ segues, she does them so well. will someone please explain to honeychild that all space != the moon. ]

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[ clearly the most important thing: ]

Your feline can read?

He taught himself using my diary and LeVar Burton.

[ this is the beginning of something wonderful. clearly. ]

Edited 2012-04-09 14:20 (UTC)

[ best friends, clearly. ]

Fascinating. I had no idea... [ there's a short pause ] Who is LeVar Burton?

He had a rich emotional life before his E habit started. [ seriously someone delete all the intervention off her dvr ftlog.

and now in forever wise tones of sage worldliness: ] He's in charge of the reading rainbow.

[ . . . ] I can only imagine "e habit" is a bad thing? [ ohhh my god brittany you are so confusing ): ]

There are mortals capable of reading a rainbow? ...! I have not heard of such things before. Is it some sort of secret?

[ THE MOST SOLEMN OF MONOTONES. ] It makes you lick your own butt. [ dear thor: brittany doesn't understand drugs, rly. ]

It's not a secret or anything. [ KANYESHRUG. ] Just take a look, it's in a book.

Edited 2012-04-09 19:26 (UTC)

[ .............!!! ] Something like that does not seem possible. ...Are you certain?

[ this is all brand new information. ] Any book?

Hold on. [ she flips the camera around again, and when lord tubbington doesn't move one bare foot sneaks into frame, poking him with a toe.

and another poke. and another, and finally a quietly irritated meow and some butt licking. HOLY BLAIR WITCH CAMERA FLIP AGAIN and now brittany shrugs at her communicator. ] See?

[ she is a font of knowledge. ] I think you might have to read the ones he read.

What on earth have you been feeding your cat?

[She's partly horrified and bemused at the same time.

On another note:]

We're not on the moon.

He's on Atkins. [ wait for it. ] And sometimes I feed him nougat and sprinkles so he'll poop candy bars.

You're not supposed to give them things like that and candy bars? Really? It's impossible for anyone to do that. Are you that dense?

He has very special dietary needs. [ so basically, yes. she is. ]

You'll kill him if you continue to feed him junk.

That's what everyone says.

Then it might be wise to follow their advice, yeah?

But then Lord Tubbington would miss his favorite foods.

And then probably die of heart failure or diabetes.

I could freeze him like Disney until they make cat food that tastes like donuts.

[ but her expression makes it clear the message is received. ]

How you've managed to survive is beyond me.

[well, that was good but Bela is very concerned about her intelligence level.]

[ It means nothing to him that she's intent to worry about a cat, because who honestly cares? They're felines and they matter nothing to Erik in the long run, but it's really her that gets Erik's attention for the sheer stupidity she exudes and Erik has to wonder if anyone has ever put her in her place.

But it doesn't mean anything - he'll do it now. ]

Even an insult is wasted breath on you.

[ ooc: sup possessed mags here. ]

[ here's the thing: brittany isn't smart when it comes to books. or common sense. or basic general finding her way out of, say, the sewers. but it doesn't take a genius to know they've been insulted-- even if that tone weren't already familiar. ]

Sorry? [ the way her face falls is nothing short of heartbreaking. ]

( ooc | YEEEEES delicious badness /horrible inside )

I think you ought to be. [ And Erik just smirks in return, because she's hurt and he can plainly see it written across her face. It doesn't matter though, not to him right now, when she deserves it.

Erik did in a way, all the pain and grief he'd been harboring since he was a child running amok and he has little to no choice but to pass it on to someone else. ]

Someone like you could do with some intelligence.

You're not very nice.

[ a genius, no: incisive, occasionally. the hurt is a little more baffled, now, because maliciousness kind of utterly stumps brittany. ]

Tell that to someone who cares.

[ No really, Brittany, do it. I'm sure they'd all love to hear how someone like you was offended over your lack of intelligence in getting by anywhere. ]

[ her lips press together a little at that; brittany's blessed ("blessed") with an awareness of her very real shortcomings, if not equally blessed with the will or ability to change them. she's allowed to hang a lampshade on her own lack of knowledge, but for a stranger to do it... well. ]

Fine, I will. I don't want to talk to you anymore-- you have too many teeth.

[ That went well. As an acceptable compromise, and perhaps just aiming for a slight bit of trauma, he flashes that same shark grin in retaliation. ]

Figured as much. You never did strike me as someone capable of holding a conversation.

[ why are your teeth so big was your mom a shark or something, that ain't right.

her eyes go wide a little at that, losing the perma-sleepy look for just a moment. demons suck, man. ]

You look like shark week and I don't like you.

He's a cat. He's not going to know what boundary issues are. Why would there be pies on the moon?

He's very sensitive.
Because that's where pies are born, duh.

No, he's a cat. Pies aren't born, they're made.

a sensitive cat.
then why are baby pies called moon pies?

Cats aren't sensitive, they're just stuck up. And moon pies aren't baby pies. They're just cookie things. They don't grow into bigger pies. That's like thinking cheerios are donut seeds.

that's stupid, cheerios taste like paper. baby donuts are froot loops, not cheerios.

Are you fucking with me? There's no such thing as baby donuts. That's why I used it as an example.

no?

[ being this stupid is hard work okay. ]

This isn't the moon
but pies are in the kitchen

if this isn't the moon why is it a spaceship?
what kind of pies?

not all spaceships go to the moon......
and peach, apple, key lime, strawberry, pumpkin pie

i might have forgotten a few

still, no moon. just pie. promise

yes they do, duh. that's why they're called SPACE ships.

are they for anyone?

[... Are you real?]

space isn't just the moon, space is boundless??
and of course they are

[ according to glee, yes. ]

...are you sure? all the movies have moons. [ and thus space is made of moons. also, will.i.am is the president. ]

can i have some?

Edited 2012-04-27 21:40 (UTC)

but not all the movies are true. a lot of them fictional
a lot of them

/a lot/

and of course, it's all for grabs in the kitchen

Darling--we're not on the moon, sweetie.

Santana said we were on a spaceship. [ there is logic behind this okay. brittany's logic, but logic all the same. ]

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( 01 ) video ❥ the meek shall inherit you know the book doesn't lie it's not a question of merit

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