ataraxion | video;

[ the feed begins in audio, and on the opposite end of the communicator, hayley chews on her bottom lip. the pause only lengthens after she clears her throat, and discovers that she's managed to find the video function. the lens remains pointed at her knee for one beat, then another- before the image is righted, and she turns an apologetic smile to the feed. ]

Sorry. I'm not really used to the. You know, [ cue the demonstrative finger wiggles ] future stuff yet.

[ a small crease appears in her brow, but softens as soon as the communicator is set on the table, so she can settle down to look into the feed directly. her shoulders hunch, and she plays with her fingers anxiously as she begins again. ]

Anyway um, so I know I should be really freaked out about the dimension hopping spaceship thing, and the mutiny thing, and I will be. Once it like, processes. And I don't mean to sound super insensitive or anything? But um, I don't suppose anybody's managed to find like, some books or anything just hanging around, have they?

I'm pretty desperate for anything at this point, especially since it's only a matter of time before we get back into the jell-o baths, you know? And I know that all you super cool space heroes are like, up to your eyeballs in shenanigans, but there's just not a whole lot of stuff for- kids around here.

The whole, no tv, no internet, no ipods thing is kindof like, [ a sheepish laugh ] hell on earth for a teenager. Or. Not earth. Since we're in. Space now.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah- [ the word comes out a little distracted, and the corner of her mouth moves. a fraction of a flinch. it's surprisingly easy, to forget that she's hurt. her tone is firmer, more certain when she continues, and hayley shakes her head, smiling easily. ] Yeah I'm fine.

I guess it's pretty normal to feel useless around here, right?

[ He catches the flicker, but it's brief enough that it's not entirely sure what it was, if anything. Instead, he lets out a low noise, commiserating. ]

If there's nothing to do, yeah. It gets boring as hell.

[ her hands settle in her lap, and for once, don't flutter uselessly. ]

Hey, Washington?

...Yeah?

What is it?

-I don't think we're ready.

[ Beat. His tone lowers a little, more serious. ]

For what?

[ her gaze lifts, but just barely. ]

Whatever's going to happen next.

[ The pause this time is longer.

It's true that things haven't been going great, here, what with the mutiny, and the longer this uncertainty continues, the more difficult things have gotten. As much as he'd like to hope otherwise, he knows things are going to get worse long before they get better. ]

...Yeah.

[ Someone else might dissuade her fears, might tell her it's all going to be okay, but that's not really his style, these days. Shit's going to go down, and the better prepared for it they all are, the better chance they'll all have to survive. ]

Yeah, I know.

[ Still-- ]

You remember what I told you?

Yeah. [ she doesn't move away from the thought, much less the words. maybe she should. maybe children are supposed to. maybe the girls from back home would. hayley isn't afraid, not really, but she's never chosen to settle for things beyond her control. things this ship offers in spades.

the words come out quietly, though her head nods, her gaze never moves from the feed. ] Yeah, I remember.

But you can't run around being everyone's hero.
Something could happen to you.

...Ha.

[ His lips twist, and though it's only audio from his end Wash looks away from the feed, unable to meet that gaze just yet. He lets out a slow breath and wipes a hand down his face, his tone hardening ever so slightly. ]

I'm not a hero. I know how to watch my back.

[ hayley's gaze doesn't budge from the screen for as much as a centimeter. no, she might not be seeing him, not really, but she gets the unmistakable impression that he's restless on the other end. the corner of her mouth quirks, before softening. settling into something gentler. ]

Since when was protecting the innocent not heroic, huh?

I dunno.

-I think it's kinda a big deal.

It's never that simple.

[ There's bitterness, there, old and tired like it's taken root and settled in. He's seen too much to believe the same things he used to. ]

Sometimes it doesn't matter. Sometimes you can't change anything.

[ she knows that tone, but the recognition settles heavy and hard in the bottom of her stomach.

people lie, she reminds herself. people lie every day, to everyone.

her tone is quiet. ]

I dunno. Doesn't sound like you've given up to me.