[Video]

[vivelavenir]

A query, for those who have been aboard a while...

How is it you find the will to continue, when you have lost, over and again, those dear to you on board? Losing the ones from your own world or time feels like a deep enough blow... but equal are those from other worlds, who you cannot hope to see again should you be spirited home.

To add insult to injury, when sometimes these dear souls appear again, they are quite anew. They recall nothing of your friendship, or their time here, and are as strangers.

It's a melancholy truth, is it not? We can stomach death, for death promises the bliss of a great beyond where all are one, or otherwise, nothing at all and we shalln't be bothered by what we cannot know.

But this? This waking between death and life, where people reincarnate as themselves, but not the same...

How do you keep from letting it smother your joy? The idea that your loved ones can be taken from you in a moment, and almost worse: may return to you changed, and distant. And can we even hope they should return, to such a place as this?

[Added, as a quiet aside:]

...Poor Feuilly, patient man that he is, who puts up with me asking such things constantly.

But I should truly like to know how others cope.

Comments

video;

[compressioncoil]

Uhm.

[Kaylee has an interesting perspective on this, and raises a hand towards the man on the screen, hesitant.]

Hi...? I've been... I've been wonderin' the same thing, lately. With two'a my crew dyin' when we get home, an' my boyfriend goin' back t'Serenity this last jump?

[vivelavenir]

[Oh. Well... that is a rather difficult lineup of events, isn't it.]

I'm not sure I understand what you mean, 'going back to Serenity.'

[A metaphor, or euphemism?]

But I'm sorry to hear that you've been through such a trying time, and such loss.

[compressioncoil]

She's my ship. Like this one.

[And her favorite thing in the world. She loved her girl. Wasn't a finer ship in the verse than her.]

I am, too. About you, too. [She bites her lower lip for a moment.] What happened t'you?

[vivelavenir]

...Are all ships of the future named for words like 'calm', out of a sense of irony?

[Tranquility, Serenity...

A pause here, and then a slight tilt of his head.]

We shall say, something similar. Thank you, Mademoiselle-...?

voice.

[foolproofed]

It can be pretty rough.

Honestly, sometimes it's just numbing your brain to it. Walking through the experience in kind of a daze, or whatever. Other times it's just... being glad if they show back up. But I think about all the time I get with people I'd never get otherwise, and it kind of helps.

[Video]

[vivelavenir]

Pardon me, but- is that not an insult, to those we have loved? To numb ourselves to them. Is the pain not a form of loyalty, so to speak, a measure of worth?

Though, you are right. It is a blessing to be given time at all.

[Video]

[foolproofed]

Depends. Do your friends want you to walk around in pain?

I mean... yeah, you're going to have times where you feel that way. I'm be a big-ass liar if I said I left everything behind, because I don't think that's remotely possible, but letting it consume you would be pretty shitty. And not something any of the people I cared about would've wanted.

[Video]

[vivelavenir]

[He'll take a moment to think that through before nodding.]

You make a point. Bluntly so, but I appreciate your being so upfront. [He had missed that, about Bahorel. Sometimes it was the best thing, not to always be handled gently.]

If you'll forgive my nosiness... have you many from your own home, here?

[forpoland]

[ Jehan knows his thoughts on the matter so instead, ]

You know I do not mind.

[vivelavenir]

You know, it occurs to me that some progress has been made on the matter of figuring out time aboard this ship since your arrival.

[He's trying not to be a one-note, as he knows it must be a misery dealing with his depression on so daily a basis, whether Feuilly minds or not.]

Is it not soon your birthday?

[forpoland]

My birth-? [A pause, quickly counting the jumps since his arrival] ...Oh. I suppose it is.

[majestyofthethrone]

I stop trying.

[vivelavenir]

I am grieved to hear that, petite.

[majestyofthethrone]

Are you okay?

[circumitus]

Not getting too close to people tends to help.

[Except hahaha not really ever since she started giving a shit.]

[vivelavenir]

I cannot imagine that could be so...

Is that not a bit like preventing choking by never eating? A harm to prevent a harm is never a worthy cure, if you'll forgive my being harsh.

[circumitus]

Have been here since the beginning. Known hundreds of people who have come and gone -- some of them through jumps and some of them through death.

Suppose it's just easier to accept the fact that change is the only constant.

[Only it's not really easy, but shh.]

audio;

[goodnightgoodluck]

Not too sure about the "other worlds" thing, but you just keep going when you lose people. That's all you can do.

[Video]

[vivelavenir]

Have you any method to it? Sometimes everything moves so slowly you wonder if you have forged ahead or simply stood still.

[goodnightgoodluck]

No method, sorry to say. Just don't have the luxury to stay still.

[ It's harsh and he knows it; he tries to soften his words. ]

I guess it just comes down to the fact that if you stop moving, you're not doing anybody any favors. Not the people you lost or yourself. You got to pay them the respect of moving forward, and working to make things better.

video.

[de_void]

[a perfectly casual shrug on this end.]

We can't let them think they've won, can we? And sometimes the new is actually pretty great too.

[Video]

[vivelavenir]

You're... refreshingly optimistic.

[Not even a hint of sarcasm.]

Thank you.

[Perhaps the most helpful reply he's heard.]

[video]

[daringwaistcoats]

[A bit pensive, and a long silence for a bit, until he'd frown, raise a bit of a brow, and glance up at the camera at last.]

... If he does not return and remember, then would you not want to remind him what it was that you had had?

[Video]

[vivelavenir]

[You're Trying. Okay. Jehan can give you that.]

...No. I should think I would not want to produce the same pain twice, as you once suggested.

Nor seek to replicate falsely what was once organic.

[video]

[daringwaistcoats]

[Damn straight. A bit of a grunt.]

... If he had the capacity to love you before, then he would have to have the capacity to love you again. Not a replication, but a new chance, then, non?

[Ever the optimist, Bahorel. #suddenlyshipsit]