XX1: Getting to Know You

[syllogism]

That debacle was pretty much something out of an extra terrestrial movie where various sentient beings are abducted from their home planets and jam-jarred for observation. The subjects are convinced that their confinement is inescapable, gradually assume complacency, and adapt to their new lives under the oppressive scrutiny of a humongous totalitarian microscope. They eventually all but forget Big Brother's watchful eyes behind concealed cameras recording everything down to the minutiae of their daily lives, and any genre-savvy movie enthusiast could easily tell you what's soon to follow.

It's actually not half bad. I'm sure someone out there has had it worse.

Let's get down to business. I'm taking a roll call.

Raise your hand if you're familiar with any of the following chumhandles:

• gutsyGumshoe
• tipsyGnostalgic
• golgothasTerror

If you're not one of them, that's also cool. I'm not going to be disappointed.

Comments

[zoosmell]

oh...
sorry, i do not know those chumhandles!
but i know a lot of movies, and i can definitely tell you what will follow.
and that is nick cage being so incredibly sweet.
i do not want to spoil any of his movies for you!
but it always ends with him being so, so sweet.
because he is just that awesome.

[syllogism]

It's cool.
It seems that hardly any passengers are familiar with any chumhandles.
Pretty sure I took a wrong turn and wound up here instead of the game.
You can't spoil someone who already knows,
And Nick Cage wasn't in any real alien movies.
Well, maybe you can count Knowing since it was about scientology, which is totally something where aliens are involved.

[zoosmell]

oh, wow, you actually know about nick cage!
and that didn't came out all recently and stuff too...
you must be a really big nick cage fan!
his movies are pretty much the greatest?
heh, but you probably already know that, too!
anyway, howdy there, i am the sheriff around this here parts except not the literal sheriff and not really the sheriff at all?
i'm just here and sometimes i don't get lost.

[syllogism]

It must come as a thoroughly perplexing notion that even people who aren't fans of Nick Cage know who he is.
You sound like someone I know who likes his shitty movies,
but then again, there isn't a single movie in the world that this guy doesn't like.
What's up, Mister Sheriff? Care for a stoic fistbump?
I'm just a new kid in town who's fresh of the boat and likes writing in orange creamsicle color.

[zoosmell]

i like your orange creamsicle color, mr. new kid in town!
god, this sounds kinda weird, but the color kinda reminds me of one of my best pals?
he is half bird and half douchebag.
so... i guess it's nice or something?
anyway, i would be all up for all the stoic fistbumps.
it will be so stoic.
my face will the brick that reflects my heart which will also be a brick.

[syllogism]

Some douchebag who texted me earlier was saying that there's a davesprite who owns the goddamn color, so I considered politely requesting to make use of it myself without paying some kind of absurd tariff or toll.
Alright, cool.
What can you tell me about this place, Mister Sheriff?
How have things been going down?
According to at least one passenger, this is a haunted ship.
Of course, he also said that he was attempting to unnerve me for shits and giggles,
So I'm naturally inquiring feedback from other fellow detainees.

[zoosmell]

heh, yeah, that davesprite.
he can be such a dick but he is my best friend and stuff.
well, him and alpha dave?
jade and rose are my best friends too.
and casey is my daughter.
i will put in a good word for you for davesprite, though!
anyway, yeah, this ship is totally haunted.
it is so haunted.
at night, you can feel people watching you haunted sort of haunted.
(hehehehe)

[syllogism]

Is Davesprite still on this ship?
It seems that a handful of your familiar friends are here as well.
Would you consider that a good or bad thing?
You know, even if Davesprite's answer is no, I am still sticking with this color, but my guess is that he probably won't give a shit.
You're right.
I could feel the dire state of this ship being haunted that is so tangibly cumbersome yet malleable enough for someone to effortlessly carve it with a blunt club.
It's so downright intense that passengers could feel the silent onlookers' panting breaths fogging up their camera-laden binoculars, which are fixed on our every function.
Can you imagine what exactly comprises "every function"?
See, that's some veritable nightmare fuel right there.