ataraxion | video (boggart sighting!)

[When she'd gone from the gardens to try to surprise Leia, the last she she'd been expecting it to run into someone. Especially someone who was supposed to be dead, she can remember his death and the smell of fires burning around them on Arima. She can remember Legolas' broken leg and the nightmares he'd given to his prisoners and more.

Panic had swelled in her chest and she felt like she forgot how to breathe as she looked up at him and he grabbed her. In another time and place, she apparently finds the courage to rival him but not here and not now. She freezes and then struggles only to be rewarded with a backhand.

It was enough to snap her into action and she did all she could. She sang, one of Daeron's songs but she infused what she could of her own power into it and ran, hoping it would hold him back.

She ran back to the gardens and there she fumbles with her communicator. Her hands are shaking and her face is pale except for a slowly forming bruise under her right eye.]

M-Morgoth-

I saw Morgoth in the halls. [Even knowing Thranduil had cut his head off, somehow he's there.]

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You as well. He does not seem interested in feigning kindness this time.

He didn't keep it up very long the last time. [ her voice doesn't waver over the words, firm and neutral, but it's a close thing. ]

No but some people did still think him good. [Poor Tom.]

[ that's- hard to believe, actually, and that disbelief colours her tone now ] Really?

Yes. Someone I met when I first awoke here, Tom. He thought Morgoth was a good person, even called him a friend. [She's almost glad Tom disappeared before Morgoth had kidnapped them all.]

I used to think so, too. ( there's a certain amount of bitterness to it, even if she's trying to keep it out of her voice. )

He did a good job of hiding who he was, he fooled others before either of our races were even created.

That should make me feel better.

I hope that it does. He fooled the powers of our world, it is not unreasonable that others here fell for his trickery.

( truth is, she knows it should make her feel better, but it doesn't really. all it shows is just how much stronger morgoth had been than her, because- ) I've been inside his mind. ( and still she'd trusted him, because there had been no indication of what was to come. )

You-

You what? [She can't imagine anyone being in his mind. At least willingly. And she doesn't want to imagine the things in his mind.]

Before. [ before arima, she means. ] He was going to teach me how to shield myself better.

I see. [He would probably be a terrible teacher for that though, being who he was.] There are others on the ship who might teach you if you still wish to learn.

[ it was self-defense lessons against lessons in shielding, and he hadn't been so bad the few times he'd taught her anything, before arima and everything that happened there. ]

Perhaps at a later time. [ she might not be ready yet to share her mind that fully with someone stronger than her who isn't charles xavier, honestly, even if eventually necessity will trump the discomfort she feels at the notion. ]

[What tricks would he have refused to teach though?]

As you wish, of course. I understand. [She really can't blame anyone for not being comfortable with anybody.]

[ anderson would hardly know. her mutation is strong, but it's all natural instinct, good intentions and trial and error. ]

Thank you.

No reason for thanks. If ever you change your mind, do let me know.

I will.

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