text

[alsohawkeye]

Okay everyone, stop trying to figure out what the hell we do about all of these messages telling us what to do and instead answer this one very important question:

Ward, Resnik, Laurens. If you absolutely had to, who do you kill, who do you fuck, who do you believe is telling us even a tiny bit of the truth marry?*




*No, Johanna and people who think like Johanna, you cannot kill all of them. It has to be one of each. That's how the game works.

Comments

[50000volts]

Forget all the others. I'm officially asking you to be my wife, Kate Bishop.

[alldamned]

Not sure I get this game...

[alsohawkeye]

It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. You just think about it and give your answer to the question. Bam, game played.

[alldamned]

I mean, I get what you DO, but that's supposed to be fun?

[priceoffreedom]

It's so reassuring that people in the future have so much free time.

[Said in the driest Cap tone ever.]

voice

[alsohawkeye]

[ Kate had almost forgotten how much being scolded by Captain America stings. Unfortunately she's not in the mood to take it gracefully and so he gets an equally dry retort. ]

Says the guy who'd been here eight months before he even read the Guide. What've you been doing that's so productive?

voice

[priceoffreedom]

[Oh, good.

That worked.]

Patrolling.

[Efficient. And unfazed.]

voice

[alsohawkeye]

Walking in circles for nine months. Gotten anywhere yet?

[ Stop being a jerk to Captain America!! shouts something in the back of her brain and she sighs, and shoves her tone down from combative to frustrated and tired. ]

Look, I do my part, okay? I've helped out in every crisis, I've joined two departments, I've done recon, I'm trying to hunt down Laurens, I've spent a year doing everything that there is to do in this god forsaken shithole and none of it has made a scrap of difference. So if I get fed up with these assholes and their bullshit orders and spend thirty seconds typing up a stupid post about them, you don't get to make me feel bad about that.

text

[overdraws]

idk
fuck
marry
kill
i guess

[alsohawkeye]

Fair. Though history suggests using your 'kill' on Laurens may not be effective, just fyi.

[overdraws]

to be fair i don't know who any of those people are so I just went with whatever

[alsohawkeye]

Hahahaha.

So Ward and Resnik are the two remaining original crewmembers who just made that post telling us what to do about the transmission. Man and woman respectively. He's supposedly the captain now but was really some sort of guard or something, she claims to be chief engineer but was probably a prisoner, maybe also the real original captain's secret wife?? I'm not 100% clear on those details, it seemed pretty soap opera.

Laurens is the ghost pirate who shows up and talks at people sometimes on the network. When I say 'ghost' I mean 'I don't know what he is but everyone thought Ward killed him.'

William has a guide I recommend: attachment

And that's what you missed on Glee.

pretend he jumped in before she changed her vote

[de_void]

allison NO why do you want to kill the pirate?

[overdraws]

why wouldn't i want to kill a pirate??

[ voice ]

[civics]

[ Considering Erwin spent most of his life protecting humanity from being completely wiped out, he has absolutely no idea why anybody would be asking something like this... Or who those three names are. Is this some inside joke on board this ship? Is this a game people from other worlds and other times play? Was he simply left out of the loop as both a child and an adult?

Let's find out! ]

What reason do you have for murdering those three individuals? Have they done something to you?

[ Sorry, he hasn't figured technology out quite yet. Speaking is much easier than typing at this point in time. ]

[ voice ]

[axeyou]

She doesn't want to kill them.

I do.

[ voice ]

[civics]

Ah, forgive me.

[ Not the response the Commander was expecting... ]

Why do you want to murder those individuals?

voice;

[axeyou]

Too bad I'm only interested in one of those.

text;

[brassbucket]

... wow, pick three people where none of the options apply, will you?

[fullmoon]

If Laurens is a ghost & we choose kill then ?

[unmakes]

limbo.

and not like the party game

[fullmoon]

Better or worse than oblivion?

[unmakes]

aaaaand now i want to hurl

thanks kate, you're a pal

[de_void]

i love when people focus on the important things in life.

kill
fuck
marry

text.

[trynotodie]

... what?

[they don't have fuck marry kill in space. either that or jasper just didn't know the right people.]