[ video ]

[jurisimpudent]

[ Iiiiit's Edgeworth! It's Edgeworth looking a little bit worse for wear. His face is blotchy around the eyes. ]

Good day. Miles Edgeworth, with Security.

[ Edgeworth's introduction is terser than usual, and his face is decidedly ill-tempered. And his speech is considerably less formal than usual: a lot of his usual pomposity is gone, in the face of sheer crabbiness. Indeed, instead of polite administrative announcements going first, he hops right into a snappish lecture.

(There's a little bit of nervousness to this, under the surface. In a weird way, it might almost seem to the keen observer that he's sort of minimizing the gravity of this by framing it as a don't-be-stupid issue rather than a you-all-have-committed-criminal-deeds issue.) ]

Do not touch things that look suspicious. You all have been on the ship now for a minimum of a month and for a maximum of two years. You are all familiar with how things work by this point. You know perfectly well that there's no end to the death-traps that the ship sets. So I honestly do not know why I have to say this to a single one of you, but if - hypothetically - there's an eerie painting of one of your fellow passengers, perhaps don't mutilate it. Perhaps just walk past it. Perhaps ignore it. Honestly, you're all intelligent people; begin acting as such.

[ And then he crosses his arms even tighter, and scowls deeper, and says: ]

Anyone who has evidence that their depictions were tampered with by someone acting with malice aforethought, do come to me or one of my colleagues. Reckless stupidity is not something we have any interest in pursuing, since that would put rather too many of you in the brig. But any attempts to deliberately do harm to others, with awareness of the consequences, during the last incident - that will be dealt with.

Comments

[seidhr]

Yes, mother.

[jurisimpudent]

Apologies; I'm not entirely certain which part of "Please attempt to avoid inadvertently killing others through sheer idiocy" comes across as overbearing and parental. But your acquiescence is noted and appreciated.

[puppydogeyes]

Ignore him.

[not here]

[doggedly]

[because he's carefully putting this post under the rug and not looking at it again!]

[not here]

[jurisimpudent]

[ for fuck's sake sirius black this post is both to abuse and protect you ]

[not here]

[doggedly]

[thanks bro you're a bro 0:)


still not looking at it though]

text; private.

[fullmoon]

Are you all right?

text; private.

[jurisimpudent]

[ That catches him a little off-guard. ]

Just a bit angry. That's all.

not here.

[revivalism]

[ You'll never take him alive. ]

still not here.

[revivalism]

[ Get it? ]

voice;

[axeyou]

Oh my God, do you ever shut up?

voice;

[jurisimpudent]

[ Oh good it's Johanna Mason
(no actually good, he's glad she's speaking up because maybe that means she didn't kill anyone via mural, which he was a little afraid of) ]

If you search the network, you will find that I am not speaking more often than I am speaking.

[pompous_today]

I would hope that people would have more sense than this by now.

[jurisimpudent]

One would hope, yes, and yet all evidence points to the contrary. It's deeply dispiriting.

text.

[forgodssake]

is this lecture a security sanctioned edict or just your personal frustration?
so that we all know how to proceed with regard to reckless stupidity or otherwise

text.

[jurisimpudent]

If I have begun my broadcast by announcing my post, then I am speaking as a member of Security.

anon text

[alsohawkeye]

And if someone did deliberately assault someone else through their mural and we report it, what are you going to do to punish them?

anon text

[jurisimpudent]

It will be handled on a case-by-case basis. Not all circumstances are the same; not all punishments would be the same.

video;

[spacewalker]

I understand you're probably frustrated or you had someone get hurt, but people don't respond well to lectures, man.

video;

[jurisimpudent]

Do you suggest that the issue be left unaddressed?

[milagros]

( having scrolled through the rest of the discussions on this post, but particularly professor xavier's, milagros gets directly to the point from her desk in medical, removing a pair of gloves as she sits down in front of her device. )

Good day, Mr Edgeworth.

( in spite of the post's content, she sees no reason not to be polite. he has previously proven himself eager to engage with her civilly, and having been handed a ribbon-wrapped opportunity, the best should be made of it. )

I'd like to address some of the concerns raised here by offering my assistance and cooperation to Security. All medical records relating to injuries we have reason to believe were caused by the murals will be made available to your people for the purposes of investigation to separate the malicious from the inadvertent; some of what I've seen here has been truly horrific, and I believe that it would set a lot of minds at ease to know that what's been done to these people is being looked into sensitively.

If you need any assistance in translating our medical shorthand, ( gently rueful; even when they aren't contending with doctors' handwriting, the records they keep can sometimes be a little mysterious, ) I will of course be on hand to clarify anything necessary.

When should I expect a representative?

[puppydogeyes]

[Taylor usually leaves Edgeworth to handle himself: it's the respect he's earned, and he's more than capable. But this particular response has her both alarmed and confused, and she replies almost immediately, brow pinched in a sharp frown.]

You know we can't accept that. You shouldn't even be offering it.

[Especially when the CMO was unavailable to give any word on it.]

[Not Here]

[sophically]

[Silently approving of this video. Rules are good most of the time!]

[overdraws]

People are really doing that?

[jurisimpudent]

They were, yes. Several of them.