![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
iii; voice + text
voice;
[ he sounds as excited as might be expected from someone whose lost their entire team, flat and empty and utterly beyond caring about anything else anymore. But this deserved a little more than empty text. ]
I did my best. It wasn't enough. This might not bring any consolation, but she made me promise that I --
[ silence, again for awhile. ]
Do with it what you will. It seems pointless now, but it's what she would have... done.
[ and it cuts.
After the message, the follow is sent as an attachment, left wide open to the network: ]
FIELD REPORT of LORD PROTECTOR, CORVO ATTANO.
Detailing the events of the last recon mission under the command of Lydia Shepard. Done to the best of his knowledge and recollection.
ASSIGNED TO: FIRETEAM AGINCOURT under the command of COMMANDER SHEPARD.
TEAM: Lydia Shepard, Javik, Corvo Attano. Comms: Darcy Williams.
I was previously stationed in FIRETEAM PERUIGA under the command of CAPTAIN HOOK. Commander Shepard's first team was compromised of Shepard, Javik and Connor. Their original communication aid was Rebecca Crane. As of the culmination of events, none of the original team remain on board, Rebecca was gone with the jump between the first recon mission, and Connor it seems, has left with the jump as well.
Additionally, one of my previous team members has not made it through the jump either: Stefan Salvator.
FIRST DAY: Mission briefing was held in the medical bay. Equipment and rations were given out, protocols were discussed. It was the hope that the previous missions mapping equipment would still be accurate and allow some ease of navigation. The goal was to find additional areas for habitation, as was the previous mission.
AGINCOURT departed from Engineering, as they had last month, previously I went into the level 15 Passengers Quarters. The area I entered was not familiar to me to know it well to see if there were changes immediately apparent. But the communications from Shepard and Javik revealed that all the mapping done before this had now become inaccurate.
Four or five hours after departing, the sensations of the previous mission begun again. Though there was no indication as to why, it began to feel as if we walked down on a steady decline, and the feeling once more of being watched, though it begun later. The difference was at first its almost immediate start where it had taken longer, previously.
I would say this was when the feeling of being called, began, for myself. I was unsure if it begun for Shepard or Javik, they said nothing of it. I said nothing of it, as to a certain extent, I am used to hearing one manner of spirit speak to me, both previously, and in hallucinations brought about on board, though I have taken measures against the latter since joining the tranquility. What called to me was a woman I knew to be dead, but the other members of my team seemed to hear nothing of her. From my observations of Shepard and Javik, I can only speculate that they heard their own ghosts calling to them.
SECOND DAY: The inconsistency in the mapping continued, corridors began to repeat themselves. Ones that were on the maps were no longer there, or there were too many corridors when there seemed to be none marked.
Time by this point begun to mean little, an abstract concept, and stretched into weeks in there. The blackness seemed to grow, seep in from all sides. Void like, as my only point of reference. I am not sure when on this day, but shapes began to appear in the dark.
At first the shapes were no more than wisps, curls of light, and of warmth. They still called, echoed in your mind. They only grew warmer when they came closer.
THIRD DAY: All previous mentioned activities only increased. Mapping was useless, the dark only seemed to grow. The figures were no long brief bursts of light. They began to take form, their voices only grew clearer. They were the only comfort to be found in the dark. During this period, though I could not say exactly when, we received other communications from the other teams.
FOURTH DAY: What transpired on this day happened so quickly I struggle with all the details of it.
Shepard and I rested, whilst Javik stood on watch. Shepard appeared to sleep but not deeply. At the end of her rest, she called out to one she knew as "Anderson". It was then I had confirmation that it was not just myself that was hearing the calling voices.
I asked her to wait a moment, for me. This would be the last time we truly spoke.
When we continued, as it had before, painting began to reveal itself on the wall. Not the paintings of the previous mission, but it seemed as if they were mistakes left, until we found hand prints, similar to bloody hand prints of a corpse. We walked longer, to see where it led. During this, I heard the same voice I had heard before, but no longer only on the edge of dreams, now it was clearly, obviously speaking to me. The other two did not hear her, when I asked if they had.
It was during this, Shepard asked me to call in our hourly report. Only to find that the comms had now completely shut down, with no signal as to how or when it happened. As I paused to do so, Shepard, it seemed, saw something. I did not see it long enough, only that it had the shape of a man, one that Shepard and Javik knew.
She immediately went after it, quickly in fact. Javik followed. It happened within seconds. They moved fast, faster than I accounted for. I went to take after them, but they turned a corner as I moved to catch up with them. I could hear them running, I could hear Shepard, saying she'd... she'd found something. I thought I would come upon them at any minute -- but the corridor I turned onto was empty. I would say perhaps, it happened on purpose.
The last I saw of Commander Shepard and Javik, was the back of their heads, as they ran into the dark.
I don't know how long I spent walking, alone. I must have screamed myself hoarse, calling their names, calling anyone's name. I began to systematically open doors, searching, but I only found more corridors. More empty rooms. More darkness. Sometimes, there were other paintings, just of the same interlocking hands.
The next thing I remember, was waking up with the woman who had been calling to me, clawing at my skin, in a place that is almost my home, and Lady Galadriel and Robb Stark were the ones that found me. I do not know what state I was in, perhaps they know more. We left quickly.
Since the jump, I have found parts of my memory returning. So far, it has been no more than brief bursts, that I can no more tell apart from any of my other memories. Given the damage to my mind presumably done by the being known as Morgoth, as well as the side effects done by own "magics" I am hesitant to trust them until I am sure of them all precisely.
This is all the information I can provide at present.
END REPORT.
[ MESSAGE SENT TO ALL RECON MEMBERS, LOCKED. ]
Forgive my silence, and my absence, when you were mourning their passing. I did not trust myself in the company of others.
I'm not going to bother to give you any other words about it all, everything I know, everything I saw, is there. Other than that, we know what we saw out there, and I doubt I am alone in my lack of want to ever go back. But I gave Shepard my word, that should anything happen to her I would see that this mission would go it's full course. My word is my bond.
I have no want or care to command, or any desire to return, but I will follow this through with all of you, and see to your health and care as much as I am able. If you ask or if there is something you worry to speak of, I will not take the information outside of ourselves if you do not wish me too, and if I must, your name will be forgotten. If for some reason, you do not wish to talk over the network, feel free to arrange with me somewhere else, I can understand the distrust after all that occurred. But I would stress every bring forward what they know, what they saw. Anything, even if it seemed minor.
For any Captains, if you have written reports similar, I would like them, for I know more than one person is seeking to gather as much information about what happened as can be. To your team members as well: if you noticed anything, anything at all about understanding what might have happened to us, I'd ask you share it between us all.
my regards,
Corvo.
[ ooc: threadjacking and conversation making is all a-okay, non-recon people are welcome as well. ]
[ he sounds as excited as might be expected from someone whose lost their entire team, flat and empty and utterly beyond caring about anything else anymore. But this deserved a little more than empty text. ]
I did my best. It wasn't enough. This might not bring any consolation, but she made me promise that I --
[ silence, again for awhile. ]
Do with it what you will. It seems pointless now, but it's what she would have... done.
[ and it cuts.
After the message, the follow is sent as an attachment, left wide open to the network: ]
FIELD REPORT of LORD PROTECTOR, CORVO ATTANO.
Detailing the events of the last recon mission under the command of Lydia Shepard. Done to the best of his knowledge and recollection.
ASSIGNED TO: FIRETEAM AGINCOURT under the command of COMMANDER SHEPARD.
TEAM: Lydia Shepard, Javik, Corvo Attano. Comms: Darcy Williams.
I was previously stationed in FIRETEAM PERUIGA under the command of CAPTAIN HOOK. Commander Shepard's first team was compromised of Shepard, Javik and Connor. Their original communication aid was Rebecca Crane. As of the culmination of events, none of the original team remain on board, Rebecca was gone with the jump between the first recon mission, and Connor it seems, has left with the jump as well.
Additionally, one of my previous team members has not made it through the jump either: Stefan Salvator.
FIRST DAY: Mission briefing was held in the medical bay. Equipment and rations were given out, protocols were discussed. It was the hope that the previous missions mapping equipment would still be accurate and allow some ease of navigation. The goal was to find additional areas for habitation, as was the previous mission.
AGINCOURT departed from Engineering, as they had last month, previously I went into the level 15 Passengers Quarters. The area I entered was not familiar to me to know it well to see if there were changes immediately apparent. But the communications from Shepard and Javik revealed that all the mapping done before this had now become inaccurate.
Four or five hours after departing, the sensations of the previous mission begun again. Though there was no indication as to why, it began to feel as if we walked down on a steady decline, and the feeling once more of being watched, though it begun later. The difference was at first its almost immediate start where it had taken longer, previously.
I would say this was when the feeling of being called, began, for myself. I was unsure if it begun for Shepard or Javik, they said nothing of it. I said nothing of it, as to a certain extent, I am used to hearing one manner of spirit speak to me, both previously, and in hallucinations brought about on board, though I have taken measures against the latter since joining the tranquility. What called to me was a woman I knew to be dead, but the other members of my team seemed to hear nothing of her. From my observations of Shepard and Javik, I can only speculate that they heard their own ghosts calling to them.
SECOND DAY: The inconsistency in the mapping continued, corridors began to repeat themselves. Ones that were on the maps were no longer there, or there were too many corridors when there seemed to be none marked.
Time by this point begun to mean little, an abstract concept, and stretched into weeks in there. The blackness seemed to grow, seep in from all sides. Void like, as my only point of reference. I am not sure when on this day, but shapes began to appear in the dark.
At first the shapes were no more than wisps, curls of light, and of warmth. They still called, echoed in your mind. They only grew warmer when they came closer.
THIRD DAY: All previous mentioned activities only increased. Mapping was useless, the dark only seemed to grow. The figures were no long brief bursts of light. They began to take form, their voices only grew clearer. They were the only comfort to be found in the dark. During this period, though I could not say exactly when, we received other communications from the other teams.
FOURTH DAY: What transpired on this day happened so quickly I struggle with all the details of it.
Shepard and I rested, whilst Javik stood on watch. Shepard appeared to sleep but not deeply. At the end of her rest, she called out to one she knew as "Anderson". It was then I had confirmation that it was not just myself that was hearing the calling voices.
I asked her to wait a moment, for me. This would be the last time we truly spoke.
When we continued, as it had before, painting began to reveal itself on the wall. Not the paintings of the previous mission, but it seemed as if they were mistakes left, until we found hand prints, similar to bloody hand prints of a corpse. We walked longer, to see where it led. During this, I heard the same voice I had heard before, but no longer only on the edge of dreams, now it was clearly, obviously speaking to me. The other two did not hear her, when I asked if they had.
It was during this, Shepard asked me to call in our hourly report. Only to find that the comms had now completely shut down, with no signal as to how or when it happened. As I paused to do so, Shepard, it seemed, saw something. I did not see it long enough, only that it had the shape of a man, one that Shepard and Javik knew.
She immediately went after it, quickly in fact. Javik followed. It happened within seconds. They moved fast, faster than I accounted for. I went to take after them, but they turned a corner as I moved to catch up with them. I could hear them running, I could hear Shepard, saying she'd... she'd found something. I thought I would come upon them at any minute -- but the corridor I turned onto was empty. I would say perhaps, it happened on purpose.
The last I saw of Commander Shepard and Javik, was the back of their heads, as they ran into the dark.
I don't know how long I spent walking, alone. I must have screamed myself hoarse, calling their names, calling anyone's name. I began to systematically open doors, searching, but I only found more corridors. More empty rooms. More darkness. Sometimes, there were other paintings, just of the same interlocking hands.
The next thing I remember, was waking up with the woman who had been calling to me, clawing at my skin, in a place that is almost my home, and Lady Galadriel and Robb Stark were the ones that found me. I do not know what state I was in, perhaps they know more. We left quickly.
Since the jump, I have found parts of my memory returning. So far, it has been no more than brief bursts, that I can no more tell apart from any of my other memories. Given the damage to my mind presumably done by the being known as Morgoth, as well as the side effects done by own "magics" I am hesitant to trust them until I am sure of them all precisely.
This is all the information I can provide at present.
END REPORT.
[ MESSAGE SENT TO ALL RECON MEMBERS, LOCKED. ]
Forgive my silence, and my absence, when you were mourning their passing. I did not trust myself in the company of others.
I'm not going to bother to give you any other words about it all, everything I know, everything I saw, is there. Other than that, we know what we saw out there, and I doubt I am alone in my lack of want to ever go back. But I gave Shepard my word, that should anything happen to her I would see that this mission would go it's full course. My word is my bond.
I have no want or care to command, or any desire to return, but I will follow this through with all of you, and see to your health and care as much as I am able. If you ask or if there is something you worry to speak of, I will not take the information outside of ourselves if you do not wish me too, and if I must, your name will be forgotten. If for some reason, you do not wish to talk over the network, feel free to arrange with me somewhere else, I can understand the distrust after all that occurred. But I would stress every bring forward what they know, what they saw. Anything, even if it seemed minor.
For any Captains, if you have written reports similar, I would like them, for I know more than one person is seeking to gather as much information about what happened as can be. To your team members as well: if you noticed anything, anything at all about understanding what might have happened to us, I'd ask you share it between us all.
my regards,
Corvo.
[ ooc: threadjacking and conversation making is all a-okay, non-recon people are welcome as well. ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
His blood was not something that was fitting for a ruler of an Empire. But he can't. He does not love, he thinks, but he does love truly. His life is Emily, she is all that he can care about safely anymore. All the other memories are too a wash with blood.
It's an absent thought, perhaps, and he could kiss her save that it's not something he'd ever do, because she's giving him something else to think about, something that tastes a little more like hope. ] When she was little, a year old, you couldn't set her down without crying. [ he reaches absently into his breast pocket, and one piece of paper is taken out. He unfolds it carefully, and there is a drawing on it. Clearly a child's etching, and he smooths out it's fold with such care against his leg. The word Mummy written across it, and he traces it's lines with is worn hands, under the etching of her eyes and across cheekbones like they might still be flesh. It's a different image than the undead creature that Galadriel had faced, it's made with all the love of a child. ] I had to walk her up and down for hours because her nurses grew too tired to wear her out. I sung to her then, sometimes.
[ Save him from himself, but he sounds so fond as he recollects. ]
no subject
I should like to have known you then, I think.
no subject
I loved. I was loved. I don't know if that makes me a better man, or crueler. [ because he took, as was taken from him. He made them suffer as he had, and yet it sated nothing. He was still hollow, an empty space that filled itself with blood.
A smile twists, brief and there and gone again, it hurts, it still hurts. He missed Emily. He missed how she was skulk into his room and curl up next to him and beg for stories. He misses her and the pain of that is a punch in the gut. He looks for her, he will always look for her, because she was his Princess in the tower, and he would always, always climb for her. ] I think you would have liked me better then, too.
no subject
no subject
[ like he might have absolution. ]
no subject
no subject
Not the first man betrayed, I think, nor the last. At least not that you've probably seen. [ there's a twinge of guilt, thinking of her retching because of him and his magic. But it was done, and she had told him not to fuss. ]
no subject
How long has it been since you have truly slept? Months? Years?
no subject
Months. Months and months now -- [ there was a shake to him, and if only he could still weep, he might find some relief for how it built. But like he had to, he simply swallowed it down, channeled it into his blade and the blood he spilled like it might give him solace. But he had nothing left to kill. ] -- I hate it, sleeping. I cannot stand it anymore.
no subject
no subject
But I am not all mortal, am I?
no subject
no subject
[ He's not sure what he means. Gave into what, he wondered. He thought of Granny Rags, her oblivious scattered mind. The place where she remembered who she had been, not who she is. It may be insanity but at least it looked peaceful. ]
no subject
no subject
His scowl at her is fierce and unforgiving of her for using that so simply, so effectively. He did not fear to meet her eyes, because in truth, what more could they do to him? ]
You have no right. [ He grits his teeth and he's more like a beaten dog than anything else. ] I will be whatever I must to keep her safe.
no subject
[It's not her business. She knows. She's a busy-body, poking her nose where it doesn't belong, as always. But there's a reason she's so adamant about this. She is silent for a moment, watching his face, considering her next words.]
Do you know what it is that I fear most?
no subject
What?
[ He does his best not to snap, to hear what she has to say. He owes her more than that, and in the end she is one of the few that he would always answer too.
Something he's not best pleased by at present. ]
no subject
no subject
I don't have that luxury. Not anymore. [ I can't, I can't, I can't -- ] Not until they're all dead. Every last one of them, the men who made me this.
no subject
no subject