[He nods, soothed quietly by the reply. Dean wanting him around helps ease that weird suffocating feeling the admittance had brought. He knows it doesn't help, talking like that when he'd just so recently had that suicidal moment in the hallways... but he wanted to be honest. And that was honest.]

I'm just glad. Knowing more about her.

[He rubs the back of his head. Well, he's on a roll, and Dean's never given him this much room to talk about... stuff like this. So.]

You and dad used to get so upset when I brought her up, and I never really knew... I mean, she always seemed like such a big source of pain a lot of the time. It made it hard to see things the same way you and Dad did... Mom was just a face from a few pictures that made you two sad and angry about something for a long time.

[He sighs.]

I don't even know what I'm going on about anymore. Maybe the space drugs I'm on have adverse side effects.

[That, and he's really not sure how to voice his feelings to his family.

But that's nothing new.]