[video.]

[foolproofed]

[Guess who totally refuses to take off his long-sleeve shirt? This nerd. He can't handle people looking at his scrawny bod, okay. His self-confidence is at an all-time low in terms of physical prowess. Leave him alone. More importantly, he's covered in dirt from the gardens and is a sweaty mess -- a mix of weed smell and Ferngully, or something, with a doofy bandana tied around his forehead like he's an 80's break dancer or something. He sighs out a big dumb breath.

Also this is playing in the background from his mostly-fixed CD player. No regrets.]

Gardening's fuckin haaard, guys. Maybe it's just the heat talking, but damn.

But -- I think I got it. I think I'm getting this shit down pat. Soon, I'll be done with phase 1, and then I'll finally be able to harness the power of the ye' olde Space Potato. Marty's Potato Chips'll be a bigger hit than -- okay, no, sorry. I know I overdo the marijuana jokes. Whatever. Point is, I think gardening and making stupid junk food might be my life's calling. Anybody have any ideas for other foods from home we're all desperately missing? What kinds of food supplies do we have around here, anyway? We got blueberries; I made some bitchin' sorbet, which is plenty close to ice cream. 

We're learning. Adapting. Getting faster, better, stronger. Sure, this place sucks on many occasions, but at least we can sit around in trepidation with munchie foods. 

...

Who's gonna be my guinea pig for potato chip flavors? 

Also, Topher [that guy below him in the network posts who has his face and vice versa; hi topher] just reminded me, weird shit's been going on here this jump, too. Anybody else been getting creeper vibes from things in the halls? I mean, maybe I'm missing out because I hide under my blankets and shake my head until things aren't creepy, but I think the ship's fucking around again. 

...

Beyond the usual heatstroke or frostbite issue.

...

Also sorry about Topher's intensity, newbies. He's the mad scientist one between the two of us.

Comments

[video]

[sweetmotherofgod]

ME!!! Pick me!

[video]

[foolproofed]

Now how in the universe did I suspect you'd be first in line?

[sweetmotherofgod]

Because we have a special connection. A connection that means I'm going to help you out and you're going to give me chips.

Also I spend like 60 percent of my time hanging out with a six year old and it's kinda rubbed off on me.

[andblockbuster]

[There are two kinds of people.]

I would be offended by that, but I haven't had potato chips in months, so you're forgiven.

[foolproofed]

I knew you weren't such a bad dude.

Does that mean I can use you as a guinea pig for tasting weird flavors that might turn you into a sludge-pile?

video

[became]

You can make sorbet, and you're going with chips instead?

[ his snobbish heart CANNOT TAKE IT ]

video

[foolproofed]

Hey, both are really important! It's like trying to pick between water and air to live. We totally need both.

[kutte]

What is this, the Parent Trap?

[foolproofed]

Yes. We were identical conjoined twins and this ship finally gave us the chance to split up and make an identity for ourselves.

And Topher doesn't have to share my weed smell.

[do u like my tale it's 100% true]

[needsheadphones]

What kind of flavors are you thinking?

[ she will try all of them ]

And I'd really love some tortillas. Flour or corn.

[foolproofed]

God, man, I have no clue. Whatever the hell's possible in this place in terms of flavoring, I guess. It's gonna be a struggle.

And don't remind me. I miss breaded foods in general.

action;

[handelaar]

[because the network is gross ew

anyway a little while later this guy swings by with his dinner and a giant-ass thing of water. Ends up shoving half a sandwich into his face while (unintentionally) looming over the CD player. Give him two seconds and he's going to start poking around to see what the other options for tunes are.]

action;

[foolproofed]

Heeey —

[do u hear that whiny high-pitched kid

do u

Mr. Bandanna-on-head wanders over to look totally disapproving with his rake.]

Don't mess with the Marty jams! This song is awesome.

video;

[gothchicklit]

You hide under your blankets? [ October's here for the chips, tbh, but she can't resist the urge to tease him some, which is why she looks mildly amused despite the topic. ] Do you have a teddy bear, too?

video;

[foolproofed]

No. Why, do you? I'll trade you, man.

Whoever says they wouldn't want a teddy bear on their bed are either liars or need to grow-down a little.

video.

[chambermaid]

What are potato chips? [ she assumes they're made of potatoes but...]

video.

[foolproofed]

They are deliciously, thinly cut potato slices that are fried up and served with chip dip.

My god, you poor, lovely lass, you've never had the wonderful taste of chippy potatoes??

video;

[wolfdreamer]

What flavors of potato chips have you made?

video;

[foolproofed]

None yet! I'm still trying to grow the little jerks.

It's a painfully long process, little man, and I want chips now.



But hey, patience is a virtue.

voice »

[unparental]

What else is immortality for? It's not like I can get fat.

Chip me.

voice »

[foolproofed]

Whoa, you're immortal? Like, are we talking popping your head back on or are we just talking age?

[nightblogs]

shiiiiiiiit potato chips i like potato chips
pls

[foolproofed]

whoa bro

never thought I'd see someone who types worse than me

you're allowed chips when they are completed, good man.

audio.

[wolfchild]

What chips do you have?

audio.

[foolproofed]

As of right now? Zero.

We're kind of low on potatoes. Which is why I have my own plot now. Specifically for space chips.