(no subject)

[majestyofthethrone]

I don't sleep very much.

I had terrible insomnia before the month that we all had it together and it was worse than usual. I have nightmares. They're the kind of nightmares that feature spinning discs covered in eyes, with small, flaming babies in the center.

But I never had dreams of experimentation on prisoners.

Castiel's gone. I don't know where he went. Every time I feel like I have a handle on things we get demons or insomnia or we share memories and I'm starting to feel like we're the prisoners and this is a giant experiment on social thought, and this isn't space at all, that every time we've docked or been boarded it's just another piece of this ridiculous experiment.

I'm so tired.

Comments

[logicunlocked]

you ever feel like youre being targeted by whoevers doing all of this? thats how i feel sometimes

[majestyofthethrone]

Always. It's awful.

But I know I'm not even the one who has it the worst.

[logicunlocked]

i dont think i want to be in that contest. youve felt that way ever since you got here?

[majestyofthethrone]

Well, from about a week after I got here.

[logicunlocked]

they waited a while to do it to me. i actually liked being here at first.

text;

[invigor]

[He's no stranger to nightmares himself -- but, that's not what why he's responding, to share that tidbit of information. He imagines he's not the only one, after all.

He can at least try to offer a sorry bit of advice though, and hopefully it isn't completely lost in his slow and marginally error-ridden texts. He's still new at this.]

dwellign on not being able to sleep usually has the effect of just making it worse,. Distractions can help.

text;

[majestyofthethrone]

Not me.

text;

[invigor]

no? Reading sometimes puts people to sleep

[probably not all that helpful, Booker, but he tries]

Either way sorry to hear it. Little worse than feeling tired all the time

text;

[majestyofthethrone]

It's just insomnia. I don't know how else to describe it.

text;

[invigor]

Likely "awful" is a place to start.

Not that its a fair comparison but I haven't slept much since my arrival neither

text

[doggedly]

its not an experiment

[Like anyone has any authority to say that. There's a pause, and he adds:]

where are you

text

[majestyofthethrone]

How do you know?

Not hiding under my bed.

[Hiding under her bed.]

text

[doggedly]

[He doesn't actually know anything, not as hard confirmed fact. But he hardly wants to say that, or write it, or even think it, so--he skips over it.]

right yeah so if I come to your room are you going to be there

text

[majestyofthethrone]

Yes.

action like always c:

[doggedly]

[And that's it, then. He doesn't bother answering. He just goes to her room--a now-familiar path--and knocks at the door, and waits, his hands in his pockets. It's a far more assured stance than he actually feels.]

Video

[skindeep]

I can't help you sleep, but I might be able to do something about the dreams if you'd ever like.

[majestyofthethrone]

Like what?

[skindeep]

Like changing them into something better.

[majestyofthethrone]

How can you do that?

[skindeep]

I wish I could tell you that. I just show up in people's dreams and go from there. I didn't even realize I could do it until a couple of years ago.

Not as impressive as flying or shooting fire from my fingers, but at least it's something.

text;

[stimulations]

There's entirely too many variables for it to be an experiment.

Have you tried warm milk?

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[majestyofthethrone]

If I close my eyes, I'll sleep.

I'm just afraid of what I see.

text;

[stimulations]

Do you keep a record? A dream journal, I believe they're called.

text;

[majestyofthethrone]

Should I?

text;

[stimulations]

Dreams and nightmares are meant to be the mind sorting through recent events, processing and settling our more subconscious reactions.

Keeping a diary may help you discern a pattern that can be compared against your day-to-day life, to see if they have a more benign and normal source, or if there is some other influence potentially happening.