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[Amy’s rubbing her forehead, and most of her blue nail polish looks chewed off. When she takes her hand away, there’s shadows under her eyes.

Her lipstick is still pretty perfect though.]

I don't mind not sleeping when it's something worth staying up for. Parties or watching the sun rise on some far off beach or even looking for someone.

[She says that part a little louder, like she thinks the Doctor can actually hear her. Wherever he is.]

But it’s been days without a proper rest, and I’m starting to see new imaginary friends and I don’t want them.

Come on. I know someone's got a boring story around here. Hasn’t someone ever watched paint dry or…caught a big fish only to have it get away?

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Don't know if I've got any boring ones, but I do have plenty.

Well if I'm going to be awake anyway, I might as well hear some good ones. Hit me with your best one.

My very best one? [ oh boy, oh boy. ] How about I just pick one at random instead?

[ he smiles, thinking about how to kick this one off. he would tell stories all day if someone let him. ]

So there I was, outside my crypt, smoking and minding my own when up comes this Fyarl demon. Now, if you've never met one they're a nasty sort. Body odor you could catch a whiff of miles off, and big hulking bodies with tiny grotesque faces, and big horns piled on top. Fyarl, like the name suggests, well. Let's just say they aren't the brightest crayons in the box.

And here this one comes up to me speaking in perfect syntax, like. All manners and apology. Lucky for him I know the language, which isn't built for sort of rollicking chats, but there we were, going off-- when I realize I know the bugger. A human. Name of Rupert. I can't really tell you who he is without starting a whole new story, but he's a librarian, yeah? Real stiff shirt type, and here he is wearing a Fyarl demon. I almost laughed.

Alright, so I did laugh a little, but in my defense I was still mostly evil then.

[It is an entertaining story. One of the better ones that she's heard. And some people might ask if he's making it all up, but Amy's been around enough to know that anything's possible.]

How did he wear a...Fyarl demon. Was he like possessing it or something?

Not exactly, but we'll get to that, luv. Sit tight.

So Rupert--that was the bloke's name. Rupert says to me, 'Spike you've got to help me.' And I was thinking to myself like I could help him but this is pretty bloody entertaining. It was a good mystery though, and I was bored.

I asked him, 'What, did you just wake up all demony this morning?' Which really, that was a good line. And he pretty well had, didn't know how he came to be looking like he did. So off we went to find this warlock. Old friend of Rupes, unpleasant fellow name of Ethan Rayne. Rupert told me the last thing he remembered was seeing him for a pint and we came up pretty quick with the theory that he'd been demon dosed.

He had this really awful old car, must've brought her over from Old Blighty about 20 and some years ago, but he couldn't drive. Fyarl's don't really have opposable...anything. So here I am piloting this tiny little box with a Fyarl demon next to me, and he's starting to talk more and more like one by the minute. Whatever sort of mojo Ethan did on him was meant to be permanent after a day or so. Some real Beauty and the Beast kind of bollocks.

...Still with me?

[This is shaping up to be quite a story, Spike. You've pulled her in.]

Yeah, go on, don't stop now.

[ he grins and nods, waving a hand. this is where the story becomes WILDLY UNTRUE. ]

We got ran off the road by some of Sunnydale's finest, didn't we? Wrecked the car, but we got away on foot. Meanwhile the Slayer--uh. Monster hunter, you know the type. She's out looking for Giles--Rupert too. Only she doesn't know he's the big ugly, and I tried to tell her...

Anyway, it all got sorted in the end. But not before Rupert almost lost his head.

[Wait wait wait.]

She killed her friend?

I said almost. She realized it was him at the last second. Real made for TV movie kind of stuff.

Who knows, maybe your next imaginary friend won't have so much of a tendency to disappear.

[Guess who else is unimpressed at certain people being absent?]

But he's coming back, yeah?

[Even if she knows that this place fades from the memory as soon as you leave it. He'll find a way. He's the Doctor.]

If he doesn't, we'll break out and find him ourselves.

[Girl Who Waited, meet Woman Who Tracked Him Down Across Time And Space]

Now that sounds like fun.

[Not to mention a real mother daughter bonding experience.]

I haven't gotten bored of it yet, in any case.

[And she's been doing it for a long time.]

And what about sleep? Have you gotten any of that?

Oh, enough, I should think. [Which is a total lie but her game face is as good as ever.]

I suspect we're past the worst of it, in any case.

You really think so? [It's good, you even have Amy believing it.]

These things tend to resolve themselves when the ship jumps, and we're over halfway to the next one.

[It's mostly a guess, but it sounds good and that's what matters.]

Or we could have a party so you'd have your reason to stay up. Maybe you're going about this all wrong, miss.

What, a bunch of insomniacs dancing around and throwing darts?

[Hey that does sound like a party.]

If that's what you're into, yeah. There could be darts. I dunno why you'd want there to be, that's about the most boring game that I can think of.

Dancing, now. Dancing would be entertaining.

Oi! There's nothing boring about darts! Throwing sharp pointy objects through the air, I'd say that's about as exciting as it gets.

[Especially when she has a habit of winning.]

What sort of music have we got here?

[Dismissively, he snorts. Sorry, muggle games are l a m e.]

You just throw them, they go one direction, that's boring. For music, now--I know some people have got, er-- little, thingers, that play music. Sort of a crap selection but as we're all going to be absolute crap at dancing and running into each other and probably bloodying our collective noses even more, I dunno that it much matters. Plus that shit music that they play at the space bar, we've that to dance to as well.

Speak for yourself. Because I know one person who isn't absolute crap at it.

Who. And are they here, 'cos I dunno that I believe you.

Uh, yeah. Me.

[If she sounds offended it's because she is offended because these legs are made for dancing.]

Really!

[He laughs, pleased.]

You're that brilliant of a dancer? Oh, you can't just say that and not show it off, y'know. You're going to have to dance now.

Of course I will. And I happen to have just the perfect partner.

And do we get to know who it is, or is it going to be a surprise?

Let's go with a surprise. Wouldn't want him to get too much of a head start.

Oh, very well, miss, very well. Be like that. Keep your secrets, I don't mind--I like surprises. Shall we meet on the holly deck in a few day's time?

You're on.

[ congrats on that lipstick girl ]

Maybe a checkers tournament.

[Pure skill.

Amy considers that before smiling a little.]

Well, winning's as good a way to pass the time as any. You're on.

If I pass out mid-game you can't hold it against me.

As long as you know that counts as a forfeit.

That's not a forfeit, that's a postpone of play.

What sort of a rubbish rule is that?

A fair one, that's what.

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