ataraxion | Video; Open

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So apparently we've had some folks put into squishy meat suits, and we've had some more-- advanced android models come through who apparently are reasonably humanoid enough that they didn't need any ship-based modifications, and those who were probably modified who may not know it yet! And that means those mechanical and electrically based people on the ship need someone to see to their needs!

That also means you need someone with the right skills to keep you in tip top shape. I'm volunteering; robotics [rahbahtics is not how you say that, Megamind] is probably my favorite field, and I've years of experience, both practical and academic! Also, coming to me for your needs makes a lot more sense then those guys down in medical. Because, let's face it, you don't need a surgeon, you need the hands of an engineer.

[Ping! Here's his location of the 'evil lair, or at least the floor it's on, and some other information.]

So, if you're needing help adjusting, need repairs made, need back ups -- I'm the gentleman to help you.

Though, ah, if you have any security software, or other countermeasures-- please let me know before I hook you up for diagnostics... We've already lost one console and putting it back up to rights is a pain in my skinny blue--

--well, you get the idea.

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[ Oh god. Alien. ALIEN. ALIEN. ALIEEEEEN. ]

[ Roxanne wasn't kidding when she said, big and blue ]

Y-Your forehead. It just goes on for - miles.

- How do you put on hats?

Are you a smurf?

[Megamind just watches the man go through his paroxysm of bewidlerment, eventually just sitting back in his chair, steepling his fingers and looking over them as the inappropriate comments and questions just keep coming.]

You are always this articulate and erudite?

Oh yeah man, I could win bloody Pulitzer Prizes. Sorry, you are just bloody fascinatin'

[ He'll actually pull up a chair and get himself comfy, transfixed. ]

So you've got a goatee, do you grow hair? Like, ever considered a Beatles cut. Everyone's considered a Beatles cut once in their life.

Right, this conversation is both stupid and over. [Megamind just rolls his eyes and cuts his end of the feed.]

Wow do I feel sorry for the computers who let you put your grubby hands on them. I am ill just thinking about it. Haha, oh God, yes, that is--that is definitely some nausea, over here on my end.

And it's robot, honestly. How do you expect anyone to take you seriously when you can't even pronounce it?

Edited 2012-02-10 21:12 (UTC)

You're ill because you're human. Just keep that in mind.

I'll have you know that it is--it is entirely possible for computers to get ill. Viruses, overheating...had a friend, once, who got his gyroscope knocked out of whack. Spent hours in diagnostics for simulated nausea.

Oh, I'm aware of the trials faced by mechanical individuals! I'm just pointing out you're having unstimulated nausea. Man, if you thought spitting blood out of your mouth was something, wait until you really puke for the first time. Talk about leaks nobody looks forward to.

[...wonder if they have any Ipecac on board...]

Yeah, doubt it. Can't even say robot properly; as far as I'm concerned, your expertise is dubious at best.

[no shut up stop telling him about fluids]

Not worried. Won't be in this body much longer.

[RIGHT CAVE...RIGHT...]

Sure you won't.

Positive, actually.

[my name is wheatley and my entire life is one big delusion]

[Megamind and Wheatley are spiritual brothers, they just don't realize it.]

I bet you are.

[ Well, he's seen you around the network, so he knows you're not new. Which means you didn't come down to medical to give them any special information. Which means you might not be affable toward the med staff, but here he is, anyway. ]

We've got a doctor who specializes in robotics, but I think it's good of you to offer your help. We're a bit short-staffed on this end.

[ There's a thin smile. ]

Are you one of the engineers on the crew?

[Eyes narrow. Yes, Megamind has been avoiding the medical crew, why do you ask? He's got no reason to trust a pack of humans.]

I am.

You are pronouncing that wrong.

Pfft, tomato, tomato [...no variation in pronunciation at all there.]

[eyebrow]

Not even one who who was a robot medic prior to his arrival here? But an engineer would be useful, in any case.

[so sorry, I miss my edit button, sob!]

I wasn't aware there were engineers masquerading as doctors.

For my kind, yes, engineers are medics.

[ Frown. ] You're requesting monopolized access to the mechanically-bodied and minded travelers aboard this ship. Purely out of the goodness of your heart?

Edited 2012-02-13 06:20 (UTC)

I hear your insinuation and ignore it, little girl. Go bother somebody else.

Well, you've completely thrown off any suspicions I might have had of malicious intent to such absolute power. Well done.

Thankfully, I'm not worried about placating small children.

[ You did not. ]

Well, and why should you be? It's not like there are several of us here who can see the future, summon large gusts of wind in the blink of an eye, time travel, alter space, or commune with animals. As far as you're concerned, we're a completely useless group of people. What good are we without a proper driver's license?

[He did. The dickery is cranked to 11.]

Oh, I'm sorry. Were super powers supposed to impress me? Please. Get back to me when you have some life experience to go with your power set, okay?

[muttering:] Kids these days. Don't they know youth and skill never beat age and treachery? It's in the rules.

[ Oh, it is on. ]

Does dying twice, taking the population of two universes with us, also fail to impress you?

What about the fact that if shouted from a tall enough mountain, someone will notice that giving an evil genius access to all the artificial intelligences on this vessel is not a smart idea?

Evil?

[He cocks a brow.]

Name one thing I've done on the ship that's evil.

Name one thing off of this ship you've done that isn't.

Repairs here and there, helped Dr. Foster work her data collector... rocked out with Wily...Rocking out is never evil. Awesome, but never evil.

That's quite a resume, but surely someone of your brain capacity doesn't spend the majority of their time as a second-rate garage specialist.

[He manages -- if just -- to keep his lips from curling into a smirk.]

I'm glad you've recognized my superior intelligence, miss!

Still, the great ship Tranquility -- and our captors -- don't much allow for us to be truly challenged. Right now we're limping along through space hoping for the best, aren't we?

Hopefully, something will present itself that requires the fullness of both my attention and intellect applied to it.

[Like, oh, breaking into the communications array and starting to crack encryptions...]

Of course. Your head is a blue beacon. Anybody lost on this ship at any time need only turn towards you to get their bearings.

No one appreciates the relative mundanity of our surroundings more than I. What exactly are you planning to do?

[His eyes narrow; he doens't much like being teased, or the insinuation.]

Nothing you need to worry about. Grown up stuff, you know. Carrying on my duties, trying to find projects to stay busy... There's not much we can do.

Start a band with Wily, maybe.

I see. [ Her eyes narrow as well. She can tell he's not telling him everything. ]

Let me know if the band has any concerts. I'm not particularly proficient in rock, but I can play the violin.

Can you now? Might be a better way to spend your time then sassing the adults. [Yeah, 'adults'.]

I find both hobbies to be worth my time, but one of them is more amusing, and it allows me to discover the strengths and weaknesses of this ship and its inhabitants.

For example, you underestimate children. I consider that a free pass if I ever decide to take over the kitchens or vandalize your room.

[He laughs, just a little]

You haven't seen my room or you'd know how futile that is.

[He stipped that thing for materials and stopped using it ages ago, when he moved to the lair-- and that's not easily accessible unless you can navigate engineering.]

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