ataraxion | 03; t e x t + v i d e o.

[ And it all came down to this: ]

can't say i've met that many of you, not even close to half
but i'm September.
we have met, in a way, i'm sure.

[ There's a long, long, long pause before he reconnects with video. Perhaps some hesitation and reconsideration. That long pause for a breath and teeth gritting.

After all, it wouldn't mean anything if he couldn't admit to his mistake through his own words. With his own voice. ]

Well, and I... [ Blue eyes shift to the left. Perhaps he prepared for this? Squinting at his 'script'? ] I haven't been perfectly honest with all of you.

[ ...

And another. He clenches a hand. Uncertain what to do with himself. How to sit or look or keep his face looking this way. His tone. ]

I'm what you could call... a... Dream Eater? [ Yes, this tone is funny. He sounds uncertain about the title. ] I've been deceiving many of you. It's... a bit difficult to explain, but I've [ JEEZno, he rubs at his face before he blurts out the final piece. A little hiccup: ] I'VE BEEN invading—invading many of your dreams without permission.

[ Silence. ]

And eating them.

[ Christ. ]

Enjoying them too, I suppose. Acting out people. Twisting things around. Finding out things that I have no right to. It's not surprising to have the tiniest bit of memory about my face. At least that.

I apologize for... my... behavior... and I'm sorry. [ September looks directly at the screen. How was that, Thranduil? ]

( ooc: Feel free to handwave September-dream interactions all you want with conversations! o/ )

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[ just.. a second to stare. and process. ]

-- Seriously?

I would say I was joking if I was actually joking.

[ Stop that. ]

[The feed turns on. Thranduil inclines his head toward the camera, a glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

You have done your end of the bargain. I will do mine. It's hard to convey in a gesture and he sure can't say it over the network. But he wants September to know he saw it and is satisfied with it.]

[It takes him a moment, because Noah has strong feelings about dreams. But heaven knows he's slipped up in the past; even recently.]

That took courage.

Why tell everyone now? [Besides reading everything in the intro post, this is his first network post he’s actually seeing and well…] Did the dreams stop tasting good?

[Most of his dreams involve his true form on Earth. A field of vision that is markedly different than what a human can see. Many involve delivering heinous tortures to humans. Even the dreams in the human form.

Needless to say, AM has been very careful to keep this side of him a secret. And now he suddenly feels incredibly vulnerable. He wants to completely throttle this man. But for now, he tries to keep the conversation simple.]

And how do you go about viewing these dreams?

is that all

you can have mine i don't want them

[ that's so.. weird. and it's weird because okay yeah, she just thought he had one of those faces, you know, the kind your subconscious sticks onto and has him show up in your dreams. it's better than the nightmares she's had here, at least? so she's never questioned it. but nOW- ]

Why didn't you just ask? There used to be this dude that fed on people's ..will to live, or something, and he found volunteers. I'm pretty sure there are people here that would let you snack on their subconscious if that's what you eat.

[ WEIRD ]

[ Oh. You. Quinlan remembers you. And Quinlan doesn't remember much, so when he does remember something he makes a point to never forget it. So with an expression like thunder, he asks: ]

Why?

what is a dream through the eyes of others?

So you two came to an agreement, right? [ He knows where this came from, has been counseling Thranduil on the topic, and here they are. Is this a solution? Has he been threatened into this? Well of course he has, but perhaps something good can come of it now. ] Maybe now you can get the help you need. Voluntarily. People here can be very giving if you give them the chance.

[ And he's certainly sorry for that.

But he really doesn't want to answer that question, so he doesn't. ]

[ And the slight twitch in his movement can be forgiven, right? But he does appreciate the gesture, even if it's a brief moment to nod and confirm. ]

[ He's... not entirely sure what to say to that ( but when is he ever sure? )... ]

Not really.

[ Furrowing his brow. More of a threat, really. ]

[ Someone has to ask that question, don't they? ]

I made a mistake, that's it.

[ And better to keep those type of dreams as they are, but very much away. If anything, it would leave a terrible taste in his mouth. A heavy feeling in his stomach.

And this is the type of person that he fears. ]

I go to sleep. It's not really sleeping, per se, I'm still aware of myself. Awake. Sometimes I think about a person before I close my eyes and I'm there.

[ W... ha... ]

[ An expression, more simply, full of fear: ]

Why... why what?

It's difficult to describe.

It can be something of it's own. [ Pause. Pause. Pause. ] Even a memory, in special cases.

[ A sharp exhale as soon as his implications actually confirm, a stiff nod and resorting of his hands. They relace and sit on his lap. ]

That's a bit odd to be asking of everyone, don't you think? [ He swallows. ] After all, it would be a favor, wouldn't it?

It needn't be a favor. You don't have to owe anyone anything necessarily, not if they're willing to make these sacrifices for the good of the ship. And some people...some people won't see it as much of a loss as a relief.

Do you mind if I ask you a question or two? Such as, do the dreams sustain you? Or are they more like biscuits?

trees of stone and leaves of gems. silver fountains and nightingales in the deep. i know the memory.

[cryptic, perhaps. but he leaves it at that.]

what of its own?

So it's an ability that is more or less part of you. You didn't acquire it somehow or work at it.

no really i mean it they're awful

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