anon text; locked from sw folks

[darkforce]

[it's a question that had come from a time long before this jump. one born from his very arrival; exacerbated by those weeks spent alone in the ship. he needs answers, and he knows that he should be looking to the other jedi for them. but obi-wan isn't an option now. not while he's still dealing with the truths he's learned most recently. quinlan, a master, and still too unapproachable for him. the same again for lucien, a complete stranger. and then there's luke.

no, this is the way it has to go because there is no other option. it's one time where he needs to look beyond the will of the force. he needs to find advice.]

This ship is capable of bringing together those from different dimensions, as we are all aware. But so too is it capable of gathering those from different moments in time.

What do you do, then, if you hear tales of your own future? What if you learn that you will one day go against all that you believe?

[don't worry sw nerds, he isn't talking vader-level issues. more fathering a child-level rule breaking. a child that he isn't around to raise himself.]

Do you take what you have learned as a single, unchangeable future, or do you set all you have learned aside?

Is it even possible to ignore an accomplishment that you know shouldn't have taken place?


[and then, a second post. one unlinked to the first and filtered directly to a single person.]


[locked to luke skywalker]

[despite starting the message, there's a long pause at first. a moment to try and build himself up to it. the force had told him, han had confirmed it. but he still needed to hear it from the one person- the only person -who he knows he can trust completely about this. about their connection.]

I need to hear it from you. I need you to tell me who I am.

[he needs the truth]

Comments

[thebreakingwave]

I can't tell you what you should do, but I can speak from my own experience and say I'd tell them.

I don't think I'd give them every hurtful detail, because there are things that are personal and ugly in my past, but I won't lie for their own good.

I grew up, fought in war, and watched my friends die all because someone thought it was best to keep the truth hidden from me. That if they lied to me, I'd be spared the pain of learning about what was going to happen - prophesy, instead of time travel - but all it did was hurt me when I learned of it and hurt me again when people I cared about needlessly died.

I'm still so angry about it that I don't care if they were 'doing the right thing'.

[darkforce]

Then you think you had a right to that information, even though it would have hurt you to have learned of it beforehand?

[thebreakingwave]

I've written and rewritten this reply a few times, so I don't know if this is really correct.

I think that it's right and moral to tell someone the facts so they can make their own decision. If I'd know then what I know now, I'd still have done it and I'd've felt far less conflicted and hurt.

[darkforce]

How do you know that you would have made the same choices if you had known before?

[thebreakingwave]

I don't know that I'd've have made all the same choices. There's certainly a few more things I would've done or tried before the end of it all.

Sorry, this is a bit vague and needs context to really make sense. Would you mind a bit of background?

[darkforce]

If you would be comfortable sharing.

[thebreakingwave]

I haven't really spoken about this with a lot of people and I know that some of it sounds wild or outlandish, but please bear with me.

In my world there was a prophesy about the fall of a certain war leader. He didn't take it well and decided to try and 'fix' it by killing off anyone who might, possibly bring it to pass. I was on that short list, but was kept hidden.

On the other side of the war, there was another leader who kept the prophesy hidden and also tried to change how things happened. He thought it best to keep much of that information from me until he felt I was old enough to understand it or, maybe (and this feels a bit bad to say) that the war had gone poorly enough that I'd be obligated to complete my part.

'My part' was that I had to go to war, fight and kill another man, and it would then end in my death.

Like I said, whether or not I'd been told earlier on that this was what had to happen wouldn't have changed what I did, but I'm angry because the leader on our side didn't tell me. I'm angry because other people thought they knew what was best for me, made the decisions, and then never checked to see how those decisions played out.

A lot of people lied to me or about me for my 'own good' and I can't stand it. What gives them the right? What makes them better or smarter? Or sure that they know what I 'really' want?

[darkforce]

[a lot of it hits close to home, though for an entirely different reason. one that he knows he really can't share with harry. not if he hopes to remain anonymous.]

Do you believe it would have changed you if you had known when you were younger? Do you think you would have been a better person for it?

[thebreakingwave]

I don't know.

Maybe it was for the best that I didn't know, but I was raised by people that didn't want me for anything other than someone to sweep their floors and do their laundry, who told me my parents were awful people, and all of that because someone who Knew Better forced them to take me in without telling them the full extent of what happened.

I do think that if I was old enough to go and fight and possibly die in a war, I should've been told what I was fighting for.