ataraxion | video.

[When the camera turns on, Marty's adjusting it before plopping down in a seat clumsily (grumbling 'fuckin' jelly legs' or something to that effect); he's got dust and oil on him, a little toil and trouble with the clean-up assistance he's been performing on the Tranquility (after pilfering a gun from the Scylla, of course). He's bone-tired and there's a bit of sweat on his brow, but in that weariness he finds temporary redirection from the shitty stuff. He's noticed, of course, people fighting plenty. People looking very tense and unhappy. The halls are even quieter, somehow. And he doesn't fuckin' like it, not one bit. Now, he's not particularly attached to this ship--duh, he's only been here a month and it's a horrible place on top of it--but like hell does he enjoy misery as company. That saying can just go shove it.

I mean, he's barely even smoking it up, lately. In fact, he's stone cold normal right now and empty-handed. They're just clasped in front of him as he leans into his knees.]

You know what I need? A break. A cigarette break, but with more words 'n shit. We've been working our asses off. Keep up the fantastic work, and all that jazz, but how about something else for a second? Juuust a second. I know we've all been stressed out, what with the pirates and the freaky-ass murdering specter captains and the--uh--ship clamped on us like a tumor. So just... Hey, I haven't--really indulged in the fact that we're all from every corner of time and space and universes and all that cool sci-fi stuff.

[He licks his lips as he considers what to say, hands motioning in front of him like he's trying to catch his own thoughts.]

You guys, we have all kinds of worlds on board! Tell me some cool shit about your world. Or about you. Whatever. Can I get some cool facts? Some jokes? Stories? Hell, it doesn't even have to be anything outside of good ol' planet Earth. Or even directed at me. No serious or traumatic stuff needed, just... stuff. Hell, if you're a connoisseur of movies or you have a thing for panda facts or you wanna tell a story about your crazy family reunions.

[He suddenly seems a little more excited, a little less tired, shifting in his seat.]

This entry is now Marty's Share Fair. I'm stuck on a funky space ship and all, so I might as well know more than the bleak stuff.

....

Just don't pull a TMI, okay? I'm sure everyone sees enough floppy nethers after each jump. We don't need to know anything about them other that the promise that you'll find a towel posthaste. Thank you in advance.

(ooc: threadjacking heavily encouraged! it'd be fun to have people find common interests or things to relate to, and I just wanted a kinda free-for-all for the S.S. Solemn Worrywarts)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You wouldn't need anyone's help to blow up this ship, Pete.

[ He asked him about his nuclear ability before. This is just another way to try and get it out of him.

Of course it'd be true even without it. ]

[ He's not denying it. Even publicly. Not anymore. ] What's your point? Whole crowd of people trying to blow it up versus just me taking of it on my own.

Doesn't matter. Doesn't have any bearing on who the hell they'll listen to.

I'd say it matters. You haven't done it, after all.

Because there wouldn't be any point.

Come on. Like that's the only reason? Some part of you would feel guilty over the possibility that you were wrong.

Trust me, I know all about that guilt. 'Shall I blow up all these innocent people? Is that the right thing to do?'

[ Also a sore subject. ]

You're not the only one who knows what that feels like. And you managed to keep everyone else out of the crosshairs.

I was all packed up ready to leave, Pete.

[ What subjects aren't? ]

And it was never your decision. You couldn't have known that was how it happened.

But you didn't. Not that i'm about to absolve you of your guilt, you can hold on to that one for as long as you want.

[ Even so. ] You still don't have any idea what i'm talking about. That's not the only explosion i've ever taken part in, not that it even matters anymore.

[ Okay what. ]

It matters to me, but I still don't think it's such a great plan to talk about it here.

[ Protective mode, finally. But protecting whom? ]

You brought it up. Don't see how it's any worse than convincing me I need to start a revolution in public.

[ Because really, how is one any worse than the other. Ish. Not really. ]

That's not what I'm asking you to do at all. At the most I'm asking you to care.

Because you think I don't.

You have a funny way of showing it, if you do.

Nobody gives a shit if I do or not, Nathan

That's the biggest pile of bullshit I ever heard. You could make a big difference around here, but you don't. That's all I see, it's all anyone else sees--so why the surprise that they don't judge you by your true worth?

You care about people. So care about them.

You've got an idealized idea of what it means to help people. To save them. To care about what happens as publicly as possible. I might not be rallying troops on the network - where I'm nothing but a threat - but you have no idea what else I actually do.

[ which isn't as much as I it should be and peter can't work out his own guilt on the matter. ]

Idealised? Most people would call it shallow.

[ He folds his arms. ]

Once upon a time if someone called you a threat, you'd have done everything you could to prove otherwise, but most especially to prove it to yourself.

And then I became a terrorist, Nathan. Nobody thinks anything I do is going to end helping anyone, but that never actually mattered. I still did all of it, no matter what people thought. You get used to it -- I got used to it.

You're not a terrorist here, Pete. There's no US government tracking you down trying to imprison you or kill you; everyone here is just trying to survive.

If you don't care what people think, then do it for you.

[ Doing it for himself is the worst incentive there could ever possibly be. And you still missed the point, Nathan. ]

I'll get right on that.

[ hanging up now. ]

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