video.

[foolproofed]

[When the camera turns on, Marty's adjusting it before plopping down in a seat clumsily (grumbling 'fuckin' jelly legs' or something to that effect); he's got dust and oil on him, a little toil and trouble with the clean-up assistance he's been performing on the Tranquility (after pilfering a gun from the Scylla, of course). He's bone-tired and there's a bit of sweat on his brow, but in that weariness he finds temporary redirection from the shitty stuff. He's noticed, of course, people fighting plenty. People looking very tense and unhappy. The halls are even quieter, somehow. And he doesn't fuckin' like it, not one bit. Now, he's not particularly attached to this ship--duh, he's only been here a month and it's a horrible place on top of it--but like hell does he enjoy misery as company. That saying can just go shove it.

I mean, he's barely even smoking it up, lately. In fact, he's stone cold normal right now and empty-handed. They're just clasped in front of him as he leans into his knees.]

You know what I need? A break. A cigarette break, but with more words 'n shit. We've been working our asses off. Keep up the fantastic work, and all that jazz, but how about something else for a second? Juuust a second. I know we've all been stressed out, what with the pirates and the freaky-ass murdering specter captains and the--uh--ship clamped on us like a tumor. So just... Hey, I haven't--really indulged in the fact that we're all from every corner of time and space and universes and all that cool sci-fi stuff.

[He licks his lips as he considers what to say, hands motioning in front of him like he's trying to catch his own thoughts.]

You guys, we have all kinds of worlds on board! Tell me some cool shit about your world. Or about you. Whatever. Can I get some cool facts? Some jokes? Stories? Hell, it doesn't even have to be anything outside of good ol' planet Earth. Or even directed at me. No serious or traumatic stuff needed, just... stuff. Hell, if you're a connoisseur of movies or you have a thing for panda facts or you wanna tell a story about your crazy family reunions.

[He suddenly seems a little more excited, a little less tired, shifting in his seat.]

This entry is now Marty's Share Fair. I'm stuck on a funky space ship and all, so I might as well know more than the bleak stuff.

....

Just don't pull a TMI, okay? I'm sure everyone sees enough floppy nethers after each jump. We don't need to know anything about them other that the promise that you'll find a towel posthaste. Thank you in advance.

(ooc: threadjacking heavily encouraged! it'd be fun to have people find common interests or things to relate to, and I just wanted a kinda free-for-all for the S.S. Solemn Worrywarts)

Comments

[foolproofed]

[... huh]

tell me more, wheaties

do they specialize in some super dark secret operations?

[testgasm]

well they did lots of things

sciencey things

invented things and then tested them

the portal device is from there

[foolproofed]

i see, i see

what other cool stuff'd they make?

hopefully nothing you'd find on an infomercial

[testgasm]

no uh

[what is an infomercial]

we were at the forefront of cube and button-based testing

very advanced artificial intelligence etc etc

[foolproofed]

huh

so sewing and ice tray manufacturing

super duper advanced shit, man

[#asshole]

[testgasm]

no

neither of those things

at one point we made shower curtains but that was a long time ago

moved on to bigger and better things like the aforementioned incredibly advanced artificial intelligence

[foolproofed]

incredibly advanced, huh?

i hope it's better than what we got back home

which was mostly furbies and experimental creepy japanese office secretaries




fyi the furbies are way worse

[testgasm]

ok i don't know what those are but i guarantee that the ai we built were much better than that

they're the kind where you could talk to one for ages and not even realize they're a robot

[I'm a robot, Marty.]

[foolproofed]

[sorry I can't hear your brackets over how not robotic you are]

oh, cool




i mean, unless we're talking 'terminator' robots

then maybe not so cool

robots and humans are bros in your world, right??? hopefully???

[testgasm]

well uh

no not exactly

but we're not talking terminator robots don't worry

[foolproofed]

thats nice

soooo humans and robots. not seeing eye to eye, i guess

[testgasm]

i mean you know how it goes

humans think they know what's best for everyone

make the robots do all the work and then take all the credit that sort of thing

the robots don't like that and then there's

conflict

of interests

[foolproofed]

well shit did they tell them how they felt

dr. phil that shit


i think the problem is humans are squishy and both sides know it very very well, so we panic a little; isn't that usually the biggest problem with conflicts between these two groups?

[testgasm]

yes the robots were abundantly clear

in hindsight it could have been handled better

bit too late though

[foolproofed]

true, i guess

probably for both our worlds, if yours is as fucked as mine

looks like robots and humans'll never be buddies now

shucks

[testgasm]

well i mean it wasn't so bad really

sure the humans were mostly gone but after a while you just stop noticing

[foolproofed]

o k..............






so you're...?

[this is what he's reading but clearly he must be wrong

clearly he smoked up and doesn't realize it]

[testgasm]

i'm what

[foolproofed]

you're not


like

you're pretty squishy for what you're implying is all

[testgasm]

not human no i'm not sorry i should have mentioned that before

usually it's not relevant so sometimes i forget

i do understand that it might be hard to believe given that most people aren't familliar with my level of ai but i can assure you i've got nothing to gain from pretending to be a robot

[foolproofed]

oh well

cool

i mean, i've always thought robots would do us in if we didnt do it first, but still, you seem pretty okay to me

[EVEN IF HE'LL BE KEEPING AN EYE OUT FOR ROBO-EVIL

JUST SAYIN']

so are you like - human-shaped or is that just what they gave you when you got here

like an embarrassing christmas sweater you have to wear because grandma got it for yo

[foolproofed]

**you

[testgasm]

the latter

interesting simile

very accurate

[foolproofed]

hey man, it's just my line of thought if i were in that situation around here

hows the meat stilts treating you?

[testgasm]

do you want the real answer or the sugarcoated one