video.

[foolproofed]

[When the camera turns on, Marty's adjusting it before plopping down in a seat clumsily (grumbling 'fuckin' jelly legs' or something to that effect); he's got dust and oil on him, a little toil and trouble with the clean-up assistance he's been performing on the Tranquility (after pilfering a gun from the Scylla, of course). He's bone-tired and there's a bit of sweat on his brow, but in that weariness he finds temporary redirection from the shitty stuff. He's noticed, of course, people fighting plenty. People looking very tense and unhappy. The halls are even quieter, somehow. And he doesn't fuckin' like it, not one bit. Now, he's not particularly attached to this ship--duh, he's only been here a month and it's a horrible place on top of it--but like hell does he enjoy misery as company. That saying can just go shove it.

I mean, he's barely even smoking it up, lately. In fact, he's stone cold normal right now and empty-handed. They're just clasped in front of him as he leans into his knees.]

You know what I need? A break. A cigarette break, but with more words 'n shit. We've been working our asses off. Keep up the fantastic work, and all that jazz, but how about something else for a second? Juuust a second. I know we've all been stressed out, what with the pirates and the freaky-ass murdering specter captains and the--uh--ship clamped on us like a tumor. So just... Hey, I haven't--really indulged in the fact that we're all from every corner of time and space and universes and all that cool sci-fi stuff.

[He licks his lips as he considers what to say, hands motioning in front of him like he's trying to catch his own thoughts.]

You guys, we have all kinds of worlds on board! Tell me some cool shit about your world. Or about you. Whatever. Can I get some cool facts? Some jokes? Stories? Hell, it doesn't even have to be anything outside of good ol' planet Earth. Or even directed at me. No serious or traumatic stuff needed, just... stuff. Hell, if you're a connoisseur of movies or you have a thing for panda facts or you wanna tell a story about your crazy family reunions.

[He suddenly seems a little more excited, a little less tired, shifting in his seat.]

This entry is now Marty's Share Fair. I'm stuck on a funky space ship and all, so I might as well know more than the bleak stuff.

....

Just don't pull a TMI, okay? I'm sure everyone sees enough floppy nethers after each jump. We don't need to know anything about them other that the promise that you'll find a towel posthaste. Thank you in advance.

(ooc: threadjacking heavily encouraged! it'd be fun to have people find common interests or things to relate to, and I just wanted a kinda free-for-all for the S.S. Solemn Worrywarts)

Comments

text

[foolproofed]

man oh man

i'm at a loss

what?

text

[picnmix]

genital hospital
have you seriously never heard that one or are you just taking the piss

text

[foolproofed]

well. . .

i didn't want to go breaking your heart


forgive me, dirty jokester

text

[picnmix]

yes well its too late for that isnt it
so whats your story then have you got anything good
you cant just go asking us to show you ours

text

[foolproofed]

aaaaawww shit

but i'm a stoner, my idea of good shit is staring at walls

no--kidding. sorta.

what would you like to know? i almost got eaten by a batdragon once

text

[picnmix]

you a stoner
surely not

[ jk you look like the biggest stoner he has ever seen ]

and wait is a batdragon a type of bat like is that a regular non terrifying species or is this an actual dragon
because if so where are you from and did you steal someones clothes
if youve got dragons shouldnt you look a bit more medieval

text

[foolproofed]

you got me, i'm not a pothead

i'm the cleanest, i'll pass all your space drug tests

it was like--okay, it had some scaly bits and some fur, but it also had a giant mouth with bigass teeth

i swear to christ, its mouth opened in like four different directions when it screeched

more text

[foolproofed]

also i dont know how anything i saw existed in my time tbh

and yeah it was 100% horrifying if you haven't figured out by now

like 'holy shit' horrible, blood everywhere

text forever probably!!

[picnmix]

do they have drug tests in space
shit do you think theyll let me into medical if i fail them
ive got plans man dont piss on my dreams

how much blood are we talking exactly are you just saying this because youre a pussy or because there was actually a lot of blood
and what do you mean anything you saw what else have you got

[ wait he's feeling slightly outdone here, hang on. ]

my mate fucked a gorilla once

text for infinity and beyond

[foolproofed]

if you learn of drug tests, let me know

because the punishment could be getting airlocked, you don't know

and we're talking a shitload of blood. but then it wasn't just batdragons, it was zombies and werewolves and giant evil trees. and clowns. and ballerinas with teeth for a face.











where the hell did he get a gorilla for that????

[picnmix]

she
and the gorilla was apparently a person at the time
or so she says

but fuck werewolves man and sorry but where did you say you were from again just so i can be sure to never fucking go there jesus christ

actually are you sure you werent just off your face

[foolproofed]

that is confusing, tell her that Shit's confusing with a capital S

but no, i'm from earth, just normal old earth.

and 100% sober from any alcohol, marijuana, or any other substance that would royally fuck with you.

[Well he was high for some of it, but that's just his Obligatory Status. Thinking back on it leaves a sour taste in his mouth, and the next reply takes a minute longer than it probably should've.]

it's kinda too fucked up to believe but there were monsters under the ground, any monster you can think of probably.

[picnmix]

[ the idea of earth crawling with freakish monsters is slightly unsettling - enough so that he drops the jokes for a second. ]

tell me youve at least got superpowers

[ well, almost a second. ]

and yes obviously ill tell her you said so next time im not stuck on a wank spaceship

[foolproofed]

good, good, we'll wait until the wankship is done messing with everyone

and sadly i'm a normal guy, nothing special here

that made it a lot worse, you can probably imagine.

[picnmix]

[ oh wankship he likes that. ]

id rather not imagine thank you
so on a scale of one to fuck everything which is worse?? the shithole you came from or the wankship

[foolproofed]

that's a toughie

i think i'll say home

we dont have every breed of evil supernatural monster here yet

[picnmix]

wow that really is a shithole
congrats on the holiday i guess
if you jinx the rest of us with your weird batshit and killer ballerinas i will choke you to death with my bare hands

[foolproofed]

dude, totally uncalled for

this place apparently has plenty of awful shit, so don't worry about running out





but if we start getting killer ballerinas, you get a free choking pass

[picnmix]

you know ive got that on paper or text or whatever no backing out now
free choking pass signed in triplicate

but deal struck
btw have you got a name or shall i just call you shaggy

[ yes your name was mentioned in the original post, no he was not paying that close of attention. ]

[foolproofed]

what? shaggy? that's just crazy we're nothing alike


okay so maybe i've been called that before

marty or shaggy pick one, either's cool

[picnmix]

shaggy it is then
and hello im nathan

[foolproofed]

nathan, sup



i feel kinda lame i can't think of a decent nickname for you

[picnmix]

you can call me nathan the magnificent if you like
does that count

[foolproofed]

maaaan

i mean nothing against that but it's kinda long, what if i need to drunk text you

or i get really super high??

i'll totally botch it as bad as i'm botching decent caps and punctuation marks right now

[picnmix]

you get really super high
no surely not

and its alright caps and punctuation are for pussies