video.

[foolproofed]

[When the camera turns on, Marty's adjusting it before plopping down in a seat clumsily (grumbling 'fuckin' jelly legs' or something to that effect); he's got dust and oil on him, a little toil and trouble with the clean-up assistance he's been performing on the Tranquility (after pilfering a gun from the Scylla, of course). He's bone-tired and there's a bit of sweat on his brow, but in that weariness he finds temporary redirection from the shitty stuff. He's noticed, of course, people fighting plenty. People looking very tense and unhappy. The halls are even quieter, somehow. And he doesn't fuckin' like it, not one bit. Now, he's not particularly attached to this ship--duh, he's only been here a month and it's a horrible place on top of it--but like hell does he enjoy misery as company. That saying can just go shove it.

I mean, he's barely even smoking it up, lately. In fact, he's stone cold normal right now and empty-handed. They're just clasped in front of him as he leans into his knees.]

You know what I need? A break. A cigarette break, but with more words 'n shit. We've been working our asses off. Keep up the fantastic work, and all that jazz, but how about something else for a second? Juuust a second. I know we've all been stressed out, what with the pirates and the freaky-ass murdering specter captains and the--uh--ship clamped on us like a tumor. So just... Hey, I haven't--really indulged in the fact that we're all from every corner of time and space and universes and all that cool sci-fi stuff.

[He licks his lips as he considers what to say, hands motioning in front of him like he's trying to catch his own thoughts.]

You guys, we have all kinds of worlds on board! Tell me some cool shit about your world. Or about you. Whatever. Can I get some cool facts? Some jokes? Stories? Hell, it doesn't even have to be anything outside of good ol' planet Earth. Or even directed at me. No serious or traumatic stuff needed, just... stuff. Hell, if you're a connoisseur of movies or you have a thing for panda facts or you wanna tell a story about your crazy family reunions.

[He suddenly seems a little more excited, a little less tired, shifting in his seat.]

This entry is now Marty's Share Fair. I'm stuck on a funky space ship and all, so I might as well know more than the bleak stuff.

....

Just don't pull a TMI, okay? I'm sure everyone sees enough floppy nethers after each jump. We don't need to know anything about them other that the promise that you'll find a towel posthaste. Thank you in advance.

(ooc: threadjacking heavily encouraged! it'd be fun to have people find common interests or things to relate to, and I just wanted a kinda free-for-all for the S.S. Solemn Worrywarts)

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

[All right, he wasn't going to respond to this because: Marty, and Marty is terrible as a living entity, but for some reason against his better judgment he speaks up - and for some idiotic reason the question he asks is:]

What on earth is team-eye?

[foolproofed]

[.... Oh, this guy. His smile lessens just a little and he shifts.]

You're a pro knowledge guy, and you don't know something a wiry stoner kid knows?

[Okay--just remember what Heather said. He's--a nice guy, or something. Buuullshit. He leans on his palm and nods. Well. Might as well try; Marty at least tries. Something about this guy makes him really grumpy, though (maybe it was all THAT SHIT BEFORE).]

It's just short for Too Much Information. I'm sure this place is full of that shit.

that was supposed to have [voice] in the subject line btw, I am a+

[jurisimpudent]

Well, I don't - I am not acquainted with much of the slang that young people nowadays use.

[He sounds a bit huffy, but less miffed than before; at least he gave the answer.]

And to my point of view, sir, all knowledge is of value; I cannot see how there might be too much.

well marty is forever [video] FIGHT THE POWER

[foolproofed]

... Dude, there's always someone with TMI.

[He's thinking of Jules and Curt specifically; he doesn't need to know they're boning in the room near him. Especially would prefer not to hear it.]

Is the knowledge about someone's junk or the fungus they have on their foot not a little bit too much outside of a doctor's office?

WHATEVER MARTY

[jurisimpudent]

Well - it can quite possibly be quite thoroughly important. Indeed, I've read about a case where a foot infection was what led to the culprit being caught, and indeed I do not know how many times police have found bloody clothing, weapons, vital evidence of any sort by going through a suspect's "junk."

[ex_question191]

How 'bout you, do you handle people's junk?

[jurisimpudent]

I...

[Why are you asking like that.]

Good day, Mr. Stilinski. For the most part, no; evidence is typically processed before it comes to me. I should think you would be familiar with the process, given your father's occupation.

[ex_question191]

Yeah, totally. Warrants, evidence, bagging it all up. I was mostly riffing using the slang that young people nowaday use. You know, the junk in your trunks.

[jurisimpudent]

First: none of that sarcasm of yours.

[Read: Leave off making fun of him for saying "young people" he will fuck your shit up if you talk about his age where the stoner can hear]

Second: if that is some slangish idiom I do not know it, so your mindless repetition of it will get us nowhere.

[ex_question191]

In your trunks. That's what they call underpants in Britland. It rhymes with junk. Which is what's in them. Oh my god, as great as this is, I'm seriously not spelling it out for you any more than this.

[jurisimpudent]

[That's...embarrassing.]

In - That - I - First, there is no such country as Britland, and - And I don't see why - any of that remotely matters! In the least! Why are you even bringing any of that up - how is it remotely germane!

[ex_question191]

Chill. Quote, knowledge of someone's junk, unquote, is too much information. I'm like, 98% sure McFly wasn't talking about the contents of someone's closet.

[jurisimpudent]

[Ugh he hates this conversation, haaates it.]

Who is McFly. Are you referring to the gentleman who originally made this transmission?

[foolproofed]

[LAUGHING HEARTILY]

Butthead

[foolproofed]

Okay, but isn't there such a thing as TMI outside of cases?

Like normal life?? Like if a bro around here wanted to tell you intimate details of their passionate love life?

[you have a problem edgeworth

Go to law rehab]

Jerk

[jurisimpudent]

[His frown is audible.]

Fortunately, there is no imbecile quite so foolish as to think I will stand for a moment having such profanity thrown into my face.

[also duh marty NO ONE HAS SEX ON THE TRANQUILITY]

Fartsniffer

[foolproofed]

Then you clearly don't have any college students as friends.

They enjoy the torment they create.

Crotchmonkey

[jurisimpudent]

You're perfectly right. I don't, and I thank my lucky stars for that.

Weinerwobbler

[foolproofed]

Oooh, no, no--you need college student friends, man.

You're too tense and ruffled. Like, literally ruffled. Somebody's gotta teach you how to relax good and proper.

[because you're kind of a dick too much, y'know?????]

Hobgobbler

[jurisimpudent]

Right. And how would that occur, precisely? I think you quite underestimate the force of will it would take to budge me, sir.

Gobhobbler

[foolproofed]

See, that's exactly the problem! You look at something as healthy as relaxing as some kind of villainous challenge to battle against. Why the hell is that, exactly?

Kneeknocker

[jurisimpudent]

Because...

[That is a weird question and you are weird and smell sort of like a skunk - why is that?]

Taking time off and relaxing leaves one less productive, less alert, and less diligent.

[sugarbear]

I'll pay you in 80s film references to teach him to 'relax good and proper'.

[ Sorry Edgeworth, he has no horse in this race really but he's bored and twiddling his thumbs babysitting a giant bomb, and this is entertainment. ]

[foolproofed]

I wish I could, man, but this one might be a toughie. He kinda thinks I'm a despicable lawkiller or something.

But a guy can try?

[sugarbear]

You're thinking too laterally. You know what I think works great at a time like this? Cookies. Nobody can resist cookies.