I'm really sorry you're having to go through this. It's not okay.
I've been through something similar, and it changed me a lot in good and bad ways. And suddenly I've got to deal with it again. I don't know what to tell you. Except fuck them, fuck blaming yourself, and fuck letting fear rule your life. Do what you've got to do. And trust that there are good people in the world who will help you with putting yourself back together.
anon, but probably traceable for anyone who knows what they're doing
I've been through something similar, and it changed me a lot in good and bad ways.
And suddenly I've got to deal with it again.I don't know what to tell you. Except fuck them, fuck blaming yourself, and fuck letting fear rule your life. Do what you've got to do. And trust that there are good people in the world who will help you with putting yourself back together.