video;

[cobaltblue]

[Tex must have gone to do her patrol sometime early in the morning, because Church woke up alone. Always disappointing, but what could you do when your girlfriend was as obsessed with her job as ever? He slept in, poked around on the comm for a while, then eventually got up to go get food - but spotted a note on the floor before he even got around to opening the door.

The video feed switches on here, with the camera pointed directly at the note, leaving no room on the screen for anything else.]

All right, which one of you assholes decided to leave this stupid fucking thing under the door? Doesn't anyone knock like a normal person?

Comments

[text] | encrypted 30%

[testgasm]

hey wait hang on that's not for you

why do you have it

put it back

[text] | encrypted 30%

[cobaltblue]

of course I have it asshole, you stuck it under my door.

what the fuck, wait a second is this the spaceship version of trading phone numbers? tex is taken.

[testgasm]

you're not 014 » 094 or i guess tex what are you doing reading tex's mail you should respect tex's privacy

it's a secret message and it's not meant for you

[cobaltblue]

well it was right in front of the door when I went to leave the room so it's not like I could miss it. since I'm allowed to be here. in my room. that I share with her.

who the fuck are you anyway?

[testgasm]

okay can you give it to tex please

my identity is a closely-guarded secret

[cobaltblue]

what if I dont?

also what the fuck are you, 8? seriously, passing secret notes? cause I can tell you right now, shes not into people who still play on the monkey bars.

[testgasm]

no there is in fact context involved

tex was expecting it we had an arrangement you wouldn't understand

so put it back

[cobaltblue]

no.

and fuck off.

[testgasm]

give tex the note it's very important

i will find you

[cobaltblue]

what youre gonna come down here right now? fine, asshole, do it. I dare you.

[testgasm]

you know what i don't think we're so far gone that we can't settle this like adults

give tex the note please

[cobaltblue]

give me a good reason to and I'll consider it. maybe.

[testgasm]

i said please

[cobaltblue]

oh okay then thats all - fuck no. try harder. or tell me who you are and why the hell this thing is here. thatd be the best.

[testgasm]

being polite is very important people who are polite don't steal post that isn't theirs

i told tex i would drop them a line outside the network and that they'd know it when they saw it that is all

[cobaltblue]

she's a she not a they. idiot.

she'll see it when she gets back, it's not like I'm keeping it away from her.

[testgasm]

we only typed to each other on the network i didn't want to assume a gender

but now i know thank you

[cobaltblue]

if you'd been paying attention to anything I typed you'd know. but fine. good. whatever.

[testgasm]

so will you make sure she gets it

[cobaltblue]

I guess. but dude, next time just knock.

[testgasm]

i will keep that in mind for next time

Video.

[servant]

What's wrong with it?

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Well, it's weird, isn't it? Leaving a number and a goddamn smiley face under someone's door? Given all the ways you can communicate with people on this ship, a mysterious note doesn't really seem like the best option.

Video.

[servant]

I guess it is a little...unconventional when you put it that way. But it doesn't seem threatening.

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Never said it was threatening, just weird. Though the smiley face was a bad choice, let's be honest, here.

Video.

[servant]

[Well he can't argue with that.]

Do you have any idea who might've sent it to you? Who's in that room?

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Dunno. I'd go walk down there and knock on the door, but if whoever this is can't figure out how to do that, then they don't really deserve that kind of courtesy from me, either.

Video.

[servant]

Maybe they're just shy. Or maybe they're secretly in love with you, did you ever think of that?

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Actually, it sounds more like they have a thing for my girlfriend.

Video.

[servant]

Oh...uhm. What're you going to do?

Video.

[cobaltblue]

[He shrugs.]

Punch their face in if they ever come by here again.

Video.

[servant]

I thought it might be that.

Video.

[cobaltblue]

You got a girlfriend, kid?

Video.

[servant]

[He's quiet for a moment, shaking his head before answering with words.]

No.

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Oh. ... Boyfriend?

Video.

[servant]

[Well that's one way of stopping him from feeling sorry for himself. Merlin blinks and gives a surprised bit of a laugh.]

Um...no, there's no one like that.

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Yeah, well, someday you will, and then when some anonymous dickwad drops off a note with a room number on it and messages you to say no, it's not for you, it's for your girlfriend or whoever, then maybe you'll get why something like that's a dick move and he deserves to be kicked in the balls.

Video.

[servant]

Oh, yeah, I understand. It's totally a- [his mouth twists] dick move. But your girlfriend must love you. I'm sure it would take more than an anonymous note to sway her.

Video.

[cobaltblue]

[He laughs a little, both at the medieval kid's attempt at modern slang, and of course what he'd actually said.]

Whether she loved me or not, a stupid note like that wouldn't be enough to sway her either way. You, uh, you probably haven't met Tex yet. You'll see what I mean. ... But that doesn't mean I'm gonna let some asshole get away with that kind of bullshit, either.

Video.

[servant]

No, I haven't met anyone with that name. But now I'm sort of looking forward to it.

Video.

[cobaltblue]

Heh. You know what? Here's a tip: go find her when she's doing her SEC patrol thing, and talk to her then. You know, 'cause she's always working so hard. Give her a break from all that boring shit. She'll love it.

[Why no, he would never troll anyone, certainly not.]

[andblockbuster]

Dude, there are some things you just have to accept. [Wheatley is one of them.

He knows because he was once someone who did not accept Wheatley and now he's his best friend besides HAL. He has been there.]

[cobaltblue]

Actually, no, I'm pretty sure there's no good reason I'd have to accept weird anonymous notes showing up in my room.

[andblockbuster]

At least it's not a death threat.

[cobaltblue]

Well yeah, obviously. I don't think anyone here hates me that much, though. [Yet.]

[andblockbuster]

You'd be surprised the kind of weird anonymous messages we get around here, usually for no reason.

[cobaltblue]

Like what? I mean, other than this one, obviously.

[andblockbuster]

"You're doing well" was the last one we got from our BFF the red smiley face.