ataraxion | ( V I D E O )

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( V I D E O )

[ leave the woods to the wolves and the dark to the beasts.

Allison must have deleted that message, along with the rest of them, because when she crawls close enough back to civilization (hah, this ship and that word) and her comm crackles to life in her back pocket from one too many times jamming the power button down, the sound of twigs and nature speaks the truth for her.

how - how - do people keep getting lost in the ship, and how did she let herself become one of them? ]

Now I know why we never went camping when I was younger. [ she sighs and grumbles, wondering if there are any leaves in her hair, or if her skin is ever going to stop feeling like she's walking through the silk of spiders, never seeing the web until she's in the thick of it. and as though she's experienced in lectures that revolve around a) doing what's ill-advised and b) stumbling back apologetically, she steps in first because there's no turning back a butt dial. ] Since that's out of my system, I might as well say that I'm done jogging a path in the gardens without a partner. And no, I don't need assistance.

[ dirt on her cheeks and her shirt and filthy hair aside, she's fine, except that she went for a run to clear her head and find her ground and fell away from it instead. proof in point, she's dusting herself off and holding her shoulders square. ] But I do have one request.

Lydia Martin and Stiles Stilinski. Are they still passengers aboard this ship? [ and how long was i missing? ]

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[ BREATHING REAL HARD ON THIS POST ]

The hell happened to you?

Edited 2012-12-06 13:32 (UTC)

[ biggest sigh of relief on the damn planet. you're back holy shit. ]

You're back. [ ... ] And you really need a shower.

[ tic-tacs please, wolf breath, for the good of the many. ]

I reconnected with nature. [ yes good. ]

[ it's always good until you end up skewered by nature's loving branches. ]

That must've hurt. You okay?

[ oh, was i gone long? biggest look of nonchalance and nbd ever. except she's really glad that she didn't disappear and reappear to find Lydia missing because she knows now that it doesn't necessarily mean a person goes home. ] Thanks for noticing.

[ she doesn't smell that badly. ]

I think there is most definitely a shower somewhere with the name Allison on it. I'm also hoping against hope that something from Bath & Body Works has been space-shipped to my locker.

[ or wake up screaming to bugs. priorities. ]

Nothing a bed and hot food can't mend.

[ but she's wondering how he is, only she's scared to ask publicly. there's a reason she's never posted to the network before, even more so now than ever before. still, it keeps her from asking in person which she suspects is off the table now considering a recent arrival. she noticed he isn't using video. ] Are you okay?

[ see, if you just didn't have an inclination for shooting up things with arrows and stabbing people with knives, you're pretty alright. scott's a good measuring stick in terms of people (mostly, because wow that grandpa argent stuff was still shady as all get out), and you probably had your heart in the right (not right) place back then.

anyway, your dead aunt showing up alive aside, you've been pretty okay all around. that counts for a lot. ]

Define okay in space terms? Otherwise, yeah. Mostly okay, all things considered. Lost a few people a while ago, though.

Where did you end up, anyway?

[ hi, my name is allison and i have a problem. a for effort?

to be honest, she's not sure how to answer him because any way she does, she sounds like a scared little girl again and she knows she's not. knows she can never be again, but. but she saw the sheriff's check in post (which wasn't paralyzing in and of itself) and witnessed that death held no power here, no control and found herself conflicted with one too many emotions.

and then Erica showed up, too. which is... she can still count the arrows. ] Like, not cannibalizing other people due to a fever or rocking back and forth in a corner and writing things on the wall okay. That's my definition. I'd add alive to that but you already have that covered. [ he can't see how her expression darkens, or anything in her eyes that says she refuses to answer that (she can't - who's listening?) and because losing people is never easy. she goes for something that doesn't leave her exposed. ] I'm sorry. Were you close?

Nowhere special. You saw most of it in the video behind me. [ and she won't make it a huge deal or ask how long because that means she was lost. ]

[ for the record allison, she really does not like you.

like reaaaalllly.

probably the only thing keeping her from replying because she doesn't know how off the handle you are rn, so she's keeping an eye on you. (also because if there was a round two, she still doesn't know how she'd fare -- your and your arrows are a thing she does. not. like.) ]

[ o hay remember that time in the woods-- no.

there's not going to be a round two, not that anyone has asked her lately. ]

[She watches for a bit, hearing her talking with others. She recognizes one from the discussion about fleas. The other is Lydia. She waits, unsure if Allison would want to talk to her. She takes the risk though, not being one to wait around.]

I had heard you were here. I thought you were avoiding me. Glad to see it was a bit more universal.

[ was i gone long? hahahaha, biggest look of no really you were gone for a day and— yes you were gone long on the planet with bonus appearances by a look of utter seriously? it's totally a big deal and she's stupidly glad you're back. ] I'm your best friend, of course I noticed. It's what we do.

[ but you look gross. ]

I wish it had been transported to anyone's. Honestly, I'd steal some if I had to just to have some. [ a pause. ] Are you okay?

[ she doesn't. no, that's not true. she wants to talk to Kate, the old one. the one she was close to. the pretend-y one. and the other half of her wants to yell. that's probably why she got lost in the first place. this is one of the last people she ever wants to look or sound weak in front of. ]

Kate. [ not aunt Kate. but it's okay. she can keep it together. she knew from browsing the network and so it doesn't hit her like a freight train. Allison's had nothing but time to restrain her emotions, at least over the communicator. ] Who told you?

The next time I see someone in the locker room, I'll ambush them for a trade. [ "a trade," she says. a trade implies choice. she really misses the luxuries of her two story house. ] I've been better.

I could use some girl bonding. [ and that means when she can get up and find some water and food, and catch a shower, she's going straight to their room and never leaving Lydia's sight. ]

We'll double team them, deal? [ Lydia doesn't even remotely mean a trade, but she figures Allison knows her well enough not to care or judge her for saying it. ] After sleeping in your bed I'm sure you'll be fine.

[ there's a pause here where Lydia doesn't say anything for a moment or two, like she's almost pleased and can't actually believe that's what Allison is saying, but then she smiles and shrugs a little. ] Last I checked I was pretty good in that department. I should come get you. Make it so it's a little easier to get back to the room.

[There's a frown that falls on her features. She can sense the difference, sense the way things seem to have worn on her niece. She's not sure if it's time on the ship or something from home.]

Sheriff Stilinski told me. He was looking for people from Beacon Hills, I figured I qualified. [She's not sure how to even start this, how to explain anything that was being pushed through her mind when she was expecting her to kill Scott. Chris was right, but in the moment she didn't think so. Hell, even now she has doubts, because something has changed.]

How long have you been here?

How long have I been in the gardens? Good question.

[ being purposely evasive isn't polite, she reminds herself. ugh. ]

Three jumps. [ take it or leave it. she's this way because she has to be; she doesn't know how to be anything else. not when she's pretty sure she's the only person that cares if she (Allison) lives or dies. ] Jumps, like that can ever replace the word month.

I'll go left if you take right. [ she's positive that together they can take any other girls in a locker room. they've faced much worse than high school girls. believe it or not, there is another greater evil. she nods minutely at the last part, agreeing, or maybe just agreeing for pretense's sake. ]

As I recall, you were one of the best. [ no, she's not kissing ass. Allison genuinely misses her best friend and she's homesick. coupled together, Lydia's really her family here. that's what it is. and she's also maybe not in the best state of mind to admit she needs help. ] And I'd really, really, really enjoy your company right about now.

[ please come get me and let me pretend to still be strong even if it looks like i'm about to pass out. or cry. or both. ]

[Kate's brow furrows deeper, watching the cold tone come across the video. It's not that she's worried about Allison, she knows she's strong, knows she's seen a lot in her life and that she's been able to stand up to it, it's that's she's worried about what there is here that is making her react this way. Her gut twists a bit wondering if it's her, if being there has introduced part of reality into her life that she didn't want there.

To be trapped on a ship, you could push it off as a dream, as something surreal, even. To have family, to have someone that ... someone that betrayed you, even in the slightest way show up.

Kate can theorize it might not be easy.]

I just got here. [She offers up the information, trying to just hand it out there.] Twelfth jump, though I doubt it's called December, since I don't think they're going to start the count over again.

You know, they might use the word so that they don't have to deal with how long it's been. Might make it easier to cope if it's just some random word attached to time.

[She wants to ask how she is, if she's mad at her, if she wants to talk about it -- this is her niece. This is Allison someone that she used to think of as a little sister more than a niece. Still, she has to respect those boundaries and she doesn't push.]

hope you haven't got anything else to get out of your system either.

They won't stand a chance. [ it's hard to tell if Lydia is saying that to reassure herself that they'll be fine against things that aren't just high school girls or just to agree with Allison in thinking that's a perfect plan. ]

Just one of the best. And you call yourself my best friend. [ that's supposed to be teasing but a part of her knows that maybe that's not exactly the best thing to say right now so she rather quickly follows it up with. ] You don't even need to ask for it, Allison. It's not like it some kind of hardship.

[ i will. ] Don't move, I'm not chasing after you in that mess of a jungle. Okay. I'd like to not lose you right after you come back.

[ not like she was afraid calling Lydia the best above all others would go to her head or anything. she lets it go. the little snag in their conversation. joking. but aren't all jokes a way of speaking the truth without having to be held accountable for it? ] I'm not going anywhere.

[ she's not in the mood and she doesn't have the energy for it. ] I'll be waiting right here when you hack your way through the wild.

i think the dry heaving handled that.

[ she doesn't recognize the number but maybe if she goes through the network, she might. ]

who is this?

Someother-temper is what we're calling it, or at least what one girl on the ship has decided on. [ it's amusing and this is Allison sounding amused. her nose might wrinkle but that's only because she's putting on the big girl pants and pretending she's too mature to find something so silly amusing. she's above that. she's older. funny, how much she eradicated that mindset when she met Scott and how it's returned to her now. she's not a girly-girl or a young girl and she never should have let herself be.

but it's hard to hold onto that when Kate's such a powerful reminder of her childhood. ] You should see our holidays, they're ridiculous. More ridiculous than space travel? That I couldn't tell you. [ if she talks about things that don't matter maybe it'll make this easier, keep her from flaring up or asking how this is possible. why now? she's so tired, all she can do is hope that Lydia's walk from their cabin to where she's hanging out in the gardens isn't a long one. her facade is strong but it's not without its gaps. ]

[Kate can see that there's a struggle going on, that Allison is trying -- maybe too hard and that's the part where she knows things have been broken. Pushing through it, though, she knows that it can only get better. She offers her a smile at the mention of the calendar.]

I think I caught that over this network. The holidays that were up there probably don't end up with their own section at Hallmark.

[The space, the tension that Kate doesn't think should be there is difficult to maneuver around. The last time she saw Allison hadn't been the best, but tensions were high for everyone - she just wants to know what else happened, what else has made her feel as though she can't just be herself around her.]

Those gardens seem nice. I haven't gotten through much of the ship, but I hear the walls move so that might not be a bad thing.

[ well, well, if allison doesn't know, she doesn't plan on exposing herself. not until the other either finds out or realizes on her own. ]

isn't it a little rude to just ask someone that?

I'm holding you to that.

[ and then Lydia can't help but flick the feed to a private one before she says three very simple words. ]

I missed you. [ and then she cuts the feed and goes running off to Allison because best friend. ]

not any more invasive than asking after my bodily functions. if we're being honest.

They'll always have a place as long as the internet exists. [ good or bad... eh. it's totally dependent on which side you ask, or what age group. the network is as near to the internet as they'll ever get and with it comes a certain brand of unpredictability.

tension's not like liquid to wade through. it's more like blood and maybe if she could talk about it, she might ask Kate how you get passed seeing it dripping down someone's neck when you look at them, even over a video feed. how other people do here because she knows it's not the first example. ] If only the upper floors were anything like gardens. They're overgrown and wild and if something roared behind me, I don't think I could be surprised.

[ she shrugs, pursing her lips. ] Losing direction on board, that's the least of the majority's problems.

[Kate still watches, trying not to make it seem as though she's looking to get a read on her niece, but really she's sort of floundering here, unsure of what she should say or where they might stand.]

Well, I'm new here so I might need a rundown on what problems I should be looking out for. Especially, if things are going to roar at me.

ew

you're the one who interpreted it that way

i could've been asking about a lot of other things

you could have been. only clearing a lot of other things up isn't my priority when i don't know who i'm talking to.

there's about a couple hundred people here. you're bound not to know someone, aren't you?

[ what is she going to tell her? what can she tell her? Allison's category of who she can and cannot trust has already exploded and she's weary of watching every step, of thinking about every word. not from home, not completely. but from here, from how this works. how everyone talks to each other but nobody says anything. she thinks Lydia and Scott are safe bets, failing them she can have some kind of alliance with Isaac, maybe even Derek.

but everything is up in the air and she's tired of that feeling. ] It's not that drastic, [ she explains, softening. she's only human. ] The only experience I had with actual roaring was.. I think it was a nightmare. There have been power outages where we couldn't get into our rooms if we left them. And masks that appeared from nowhere. Before then, with the nightmares or whatever it was, I still don't understand it. I don't understand how an entire ship could be drugged and pushed into a world that wasn't really there. I could understand if I was the only one who saw it but I was there with two other people and they saw the same thing I did.

Since I've been here, that's the worst of it.

But everyone talks about this Smiley guy, and how nearly the entire crew was sick with some kind of plague. Everyone talks about monsters but I've never been attacked.

[Kate watches her niece. It's hard not to. She's trying to follow along, to hear what she's saying, but to know that this place is a lot bigger and apparently a lot more unpredictable than she's prepared for it's a lot to take in.

She wants to take it in though. She needs to know these things, needs to know how it fits, how it works - because she can't have another disadvantage. Derek's an Alpha. He's already made vague threats. There are others here, and she has no doubt there's a small group of kids that are not just kids giving him that extra bit of power.]

Sounds like the worst of it is pretty rough. [Chris would be worried about her. Chris would want Kate to protect her. To do what she didn't before.]

I... I'm sorry that I pushed too hard. [She wishes it was in person. She wishes that she could explain. But it's not exactly an easy thing to explain.]

[ it can't be in person. Lydia is on her way and she's not in any state to see her aunt, to speak with her because in person all she'd be able to do is tremble and want to hold her. to feel her. to be in the arms of some part of her family. it scares her how quickly the world can deteriorate in a year. less than that, if she's ready to reflect. ]

We try to make the best of it. There are floor-wide dinners and one movie night to speak of. Did you hear there are super heroes here? Actual super heroes. I haven't caught anyone in a cape yet. [ and she focuses on that because they are small wonders and those were quiet, happy brief moments. a quieter jump. but the easy story-telling slows because.. she's talking about the ship, isn't she? ] Someone should have filled you in sooner.

[ unless she means-- ]

[Kate nods, trying to brush it off. She doesn't do these emotional tell-all Hallmark moments. There is no Lifetime movie saved on her DVR back home about deep felt emotions.]

It's fine. This is good. This is the information I needed to hear. [She figures she shouldn't bring it up again. Even if it's sitting like a weight on her chest.]

[ she knows what everyone and their mom (or dad) thinks about her aunt. but Chris didn't shoot her for a reason. if people can change, if Allison herself has any hope of it. doesn't she owe it to her to see if her aunt can too? the pause is curious, a struggle- trying to figure out how to continue the conversation without hanging up. ] -Kate.

What have you been doing since you arrived? [ have you been alone? ]

[She takes a breath, snapping her attention back to the video.]

Learning the ship. [Kate offers her a small smile.] Old habits.

I spoke with the Sheriff, he told me you were here... [Kate feels as though she said that already and she shakes her head.]

It still doesn't seem real. Standing outside the Hale house then in a vat of blue goo. I still think some of it is in my hair. But, I'm managing. I learned from the best. [Chris, Gerard - they taught her. Made her a survivor.] And some of those lessons don't just shake out with age.

Not that I'm old.

[ standing outside the Hale house-

she manages not to shut her eyes.

Allison doesn't want to tell Kate that she's repeating herself or that when she got here, after the terror (and more terror) and what it took to settle, she was the tiniest bit relieved to have some distance from Beacon Hills. a chance to rebuild. until she learned her life was here with her. the chance to rebuild became smaller but that didn't stop her from working at it. ] I don't think you could be old if you tried.

[ who would try? ]

I heard the goo could double as hair gel. Haven't been desperate enough to try that out. [ it might not seem real. this conversation isn't- it's impossible, outside of space. and that hurts to swallow. but the little voice that comes out of her isn't so much the soldier as it is the girl that wants to believe maybe, somehow, they can be redeemed as a family. barring that, she really can't watch her die again. fragile hope, that's what it is. ] Were you apologizing about pushing for answers?

[Her mouth draws into a tight line, shoulders pushing her posture forward as her hands lace together and tuck between denim covered thighs. There's a soft exhale as she prepares for honesty.]

No. [Her gaze drops to her lap, then back up to the feed.] I should've let your dad... [She knows that she pushed and being out there with the gun in her hand, trying to force that kill. Even if she knows that Allison had it in her, that she could've --

It doesn't matter.]

He didn't want it to go that way and... [she pauses, her mouth parted and another breath exhaling slowly.]

I shouldn't have pushed. [She had just wanted, she needed to have someone understand, to see how it was to be her... it just wasn't fair of her to push that onto Allison.]

[ and with Kate's death and her mother's, Allison had plenty of reasons to be a killer. only it looked less like reasons at that point and more like crazy. it's the right idea, she supposes even now. crushing a threat before it can become one. but it lights on the morality, on the choice. what if before the fire, they chose to live a quiet, peaceful life and their own lives as hunters that keep to a code proceeded accordingly?

it really doesn't matter now, that's true.

she looks stricken, solely because she isn't equipped to deal with this. she never thought she'd get the chance to ask why or to hurl accusations and now that she can and there's an apology (that's not fair) it won't do her any good to object. to shoot them off like arrows aimed lethally. she can't say she forgives her, she can't predict if she'll ever be able to but.. when she looks up to force off the overwhelming surge, she manages to get out: ] You're not the only one that ignored his advice.

We can't change what already happened. [ stemmed from many sleepless nights and lots of inner reflection, since she had nothing but time to mock her here. ]

[Kate wants to dismiss it, to push it away from them because they're Argent women and they're not supposed to be weak. She chews on her bottom lip, fingertips touching to themselves as she tries to rub away something that's not really there.]

No, we can't. [The words are heavy and Kate wonders just what has happened to Allison here, she's not sure she understands how people are from different times, mostly because no one from home has talked to her enough for her to realize that she's missed out on a lot.]

You're okay, right? I mean -- [Her hand clenches at her side a bit, not that Allison can see it, but she might see a shoulder tense up.] -- Derek's an Alpha. [There's half a breath that's exhaled out in a huff, not upset, but just unsure.]

I might have run into him when I first showed up here.

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( V I D E O )

NOT HERE. YET.

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not here: the derek hale mouthbreathing chronicles

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ALSO NOT HERE. but placeholder maybe.

not here: the pack version?

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private | text | they specialize so much in being not here, it's practically a career

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