anon video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

[The feed flicks on, revealing a young, blond woman, chilling in some hallway in a...bat-costume? She's grinning pretty widely for someone who's supposed to be dark as the (k)night.]

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's—[dramatic pause]—sure as hell a giant, creepy spaceship because Superman you ain't. [She sighs, grin disappearing in favor of a more deadpan expression.]

So, hey, I'm new, but let's skip the mental breakdowns, freak outs, where is "x", have you seen my "y," I am scared, blah blah, wah wah, yadda yadda, etcetera, ad naseum [dismissive wave] and go straight to introductions and pleasantries.

Hey, space people. I'm Batgirl. The real deal, even — see, I come fully equipped with Batarangs, witty retorts, and everything. Yeah, yeah, I've snooped through the network. Done a little detecting, as they say. I've heard rumors of comics and fourthwalls; don't worry. If I'm fictional where you're from, then I will be available for autographs upon request. The one thing I ask of you is pretty please: no spoilers. I happen to like surprises.

Anyway, I also like coffee and waffles, especially in delicious conjunction, rooftop tag, crime fighting, and, of course, justice.

I'm sure you've seen my spooky boss-man's pseudo-vandalism, but I figured I should put the word out in my own way: call me, beep me, if you want to text me; that's a-okay. I'll be there whenever you need me, as cheesy as that sounds. It's part of the super-gig. You can ask questions and/or heckle now, I guess. Do whatever floats your boat. I'll be here aaaaaaall week.

Comments

video;

[sangfroid]

[ blank stare as she just processes that ]

You, um. Bring him to justice by... making videos? I'm not sure I'm familiar with that, um, sort of... justice system.

anon video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

It's more...bringing things out into the light.

anon voice;

[rhymeswithdeath]

Me, too. I wouldn't want to get out-done by some upstart.

[anon video]

[rhymeswithdeath]

We compliment each other like that.

Team work makes the dream work, y'know?

anon video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

[she laughs.] Nah, we don't sleep. [her face turns serious]

Justice never sleeps.

[voice forever]

[jurisimpudent]

I see.

I hope this will not be taken amiss, madam, but is he aware that he's one half of this "dream team"?

[anon video forever!!]

[rhymeswithdeath]

Yes. We hang out and chat about justice all the time.

permavoice;

[learnedtosmile]

I don't think you or the Batman are in any danger of that.

[jurisimpudent]

...We are talking about the same person, correct? The fellow who calls himself "Bat-Man"?

perma-anon voice;

[rhymeswithdeath]

You flatter me.

[rhymeswithdeath]

Uh-huh.

It may seem hard to believe, but we get along pretty well. Like I said before, we're foils; we compliment each other.

[jurisimpudent]

Quite.

The same fellow who said to me, without any prevarication or reservation, that he works alone.

voice;

[justamobster]

Justice must drink a lotta coffee, yeah?

[learnedtosmile]

It's at least more entertaining than yet another post complaining of boredom. But it makes a pretty good counterpoint - his flair for the dramatic, your flair for the humorous.

But as big as this ship is, I'm pretty sure there are only so many Batpeople it can hold at one time.

anon video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

Oh yeah.

You have no idea how fun it is to make the barista write "Batgirl" on my cup.

[rhymeswithdeath]

[shrugs] He's bad at friendship.

Plus, I just got here, so he might have been flying solo for a while.

[jurisimpudent]

[There's a slight sigh - but even Miles Edgeworth, Ace Jerkface, isn't about to try to push her into admitting that this Bat-Man doesn't like her. So instead:]

Would you kindly give me your definition of "justice"?

voice;

[justamobster]

At least no one's gonna mistake your drink for theirs.

So you an' your boss work with the cops, or're you more into the P.I. racket?

[rhymeswithdeath]

[Actually, he's been pretty welcoming — nicer than the Batman hardened by years of vigilantism, anyway.]

Saving anyone in danger. Locking up people who intend to/try to harm others.

I'm pretty solidly behind the American justice system, even though it has its faults.

[rhymeswithdeath]

[laughs] Yeah, I think we're already pushing it.

[jurisimpudent]

And what would you say those faults are, madam?

anon video;

[rhymeswithdeath]

We work with certain cops. James Gordon and Nick Gage are our best allies in the police force, as far as I'm concerned, but we tend to fit more in the P.I. racket, yeah.

We handle a different kind of criminal, a lot of the time.

voice;

[justamobster]

Yeah? Different how?

[rhymeswithdeath]

Mainly stuff to do with human error and capabilities.

It's really bogged down, y'know? There's always a huge backlog of cases. Plus, there's class bias and stuff involved with the judging of those cases. And don't even get me started on how much a good lawyer costs. [She knows. Her dad spent way too much money on them.]

And then there's the fact that real, dangerous criminals, somehow keep getting back on the street.

[jurisimpudent]

[Okay Batgirl

He thought he was gonna be super-annoyed by you

But you're actually starting to win +20 approval

He gently prods her to speak a bit more:]

A terrible thing indeed.