ataraxion | fifth shot; video

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fifth shot; video

Two things. One, I'm one of the flight officers now. Name's Clint Barton.

Second... Still looking for some materials. If anyone has an extra mattress you don't want, I'll take it off your hands. Old winter coats, scraps of clothes from home you'd like to see someone tear up? I'll take those, too.

[He is about to end the feed when he has an additional thought:]

If you see a little dark-haired kid in a suit in places he's not supposed to be, let me know. He answers to "Anthony".

[Satisfied now, Clint slings a quiver of arrows and a sleek black bow over his shoulder before shutting off the transmission.]

[Text to Ultimates/allied Avengers; encryption 100%]

Did anyone else have an issue with those masks? I haven't felt right since those things showed up.

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Don't let it. I think everybody wants to hold hands and sing campfire songs, here. It's pretty peaceable.

[After a moment she nods.]

Then in that case I'll consider it seriously. I enjoy time off but it might be good to have something to keep me busy, keep my mind occupied...

[Because otherwise she's going to just keep replaying her last moments over and over again...]

Ultimately, it's up to you.

[He takes a seat beside her.]

But if we can contribute, we might as well.

[Wanda takes a deep breath, stretching her legs out and setting her heels firmly on the ground as the toes of her boots point up.]

I'll have to see how the meeting goes then.

[She goes silent, after a moment feeling awkward. One-on-one talks don't really happen often with Clint, and while she can't think of anything more they need to talk about, there's no where else she needs to go either.]

[He pauses for a moment. Yeah, this is awkward. And strange. It's just Wanda, but it's also just Wanda. Her alone, no buffer. How often has that ever happened?]

Are you feeling better?

[A small smile draws her lips up automatically, but it's a reflex more than anything else.]

Would you be feeling better?

No. Not even a little. Maybe a little more normal.

[Damn all of this.]

I didn't know if I should tell you or not.

[Another nod. Wanda's hands clasp in her lap, and she stares down at them, at anything in the room but him.]

It was fine the way things happened. Unexpected but...I'm not sure I could have braced myself for something like this even if you'd told me and I'd believed it.

[Shit, shit shit, what is he doing wrong? He's supposed to be looking out for her until she gets her feet under her, and what the hell is this?]

Either way, I'm sorry for everything.

[It's not you, Clint, really. It's her. It's all her and her monumentally huge issues that have only gotten larger since her arrival.]

Thank you...though I'm not sure there's anything you need to apologize for. It wasn't as if any of it was your fault, Clint.

[And there's nothing he can do. He knows this, knows it's not his fault or his responsibility, but he can't help but want to make sure everyone on the team stays in one piece.]

It wasn't, not any more than it was anyone else's.

[It's that feeling that perhaps has her looking to him as much as Tony as a leader of this team, in absence of anyone else.]

Can I ask you a question?

[God knows looking to Tony as a beacon of anything but industry right now is a silly notion.]

Go ahead.

I imagine you may not have an answer but I can't help but wonder...do you think your priorities or behavior would change much knowing that your days here were all you had left?

[It seems infinitely stupid to have become That Person questioning her own mortality and what she would do if she had Another Chance but when she's not thinking about her painful last moments, she's thinking about what she ought to do now that she's alive again.]

[An interesting question. He takes a deep breath, considering.]

I'd probably do anything I could possibly do. Anything I ever wanted. But that's me. I don't like regrets.

[It's not far off from where her own thoughts strayed.]

I've been considering the same things. It feels odd to be torn between trying to reach some normalcy by falling back into familiar habits and putting it all aside in an effort to enjoy whatever days I may have left.

It's not particularly the setting I'd choose for the circumstances but in either case I'll need to make the best of it.

I don't envy you. But I do think you should make the most of it. Make friends, spoil yourself, do anything you want. You've got people to look out for you, so... just try?

I might then, at least to spoiling myself.

[She's never really been one to go out of her way to make friends. Allies, perhaps, but friends are another beast entirely. With a sigh, she looks up, shaking her head somewhat.]

I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to burden you with this.

[They've never been one for heart to heart conversations. Wanda's almost exclusively kept such revelations of her innermost thoughts between Pietro and herself. Not having him there is just as hard to cope with as her death.]

If you need someone to talk to, I'll listen.

[He's not obligated, and he knows that... But if she needs someone, it might as well be someone she's marginally familiar with. He doesn't have to process any of it, and she's not really asking for advice. It's simple.]

Need isn't a word I'd use, but thank you.

[She's not entirely certain she wants to open up more about this. Talking about her feelings to others has never been a thing. Adjusting and shifting her weight where she sits, she feels her shoulder brush Clint's and realizes absently that without Pietro there there's not really anyone else she has physical contact with. It only adds to her feelings of isolation and awkwardness.

As the silence grows, Wanda just sighs.]

I'm not sure there's all that much good to be had in venting about something that can't be changed.

Or want. I'm not trying to force it out of you. I'm offering, if you want to take it. You don't have to.

[He shrugs, frustrated. He can't read minds, and she's making him wish he could. Might make this easier.]

[Wanda sighs again and reaches up to run her fingers through her hair, looking up. She looks frustrated and somewhat at a loss when she finally looks over.]

No, of course, I know it's just--I barely know what to do with myself at this point to be honest. I appreciate the offer, I really do. It's just...nothing I've ever prepared myself to deal with.

Once you die you're supposed to stay dead and dealing with your death is left to those still alive. But I'm here on this ship and without Pietro--[Her voice breaks, and she almost swears in frustration for it. Wanda takes a deep, steadying breath.]--it's just a great deal more complicated and difficult.

[He avoids eye contact for a moment, but he finally looks over. His brow is furrowed, and he seems a bit confused. It's for reasons he won't even get into. She's just tied to so many bad memories...]

It's nothing anybody can be prepared for. Death is't an easy topic. I've never been dead, not really, but...

[No, this discussion is pointless.]

Wanda, we're all we have. You get that, right? Whatever we need, we have to lean on each other whether we like it or not. If you're going to deal with it alone, do that. If you don't want to, I know plenty about dealing with it from the other side. I'll... whatever you need me to listen to, I'm going to offer that.

I don't know what you want me to say.

[There's a brief moment when they both happen to be glancing over at each other at the same time. If he's quick enough, he'll notice that lost, uncertain and vulnerable look in her eyes before she turns away again.

For all that he claims he doesn't know what she wants him to say, he's doing well regardless. She doesn't need someone to ooze sympathy, it just helps immensely to hear from time to time that she's not alone and that it's okay to lean on him if she needs to. Wanda takes a deep breath and nods, before slowly leaning over so that she rests her shoulder lightly against his.]

Things like that, actually, are perfect.

[He looks away quickly once her shoulder makes contact with his, fixing his eyes on a point on the wall and wondering how he ended up like this. How life took him to this point. How this ship and that mask and this woman figured into everything he is and will be.

The team. He has a sliver, a shattered remnant of the Ultimates with him, and he might as well make the best of it.]

You'll figure out how to cope. And how to live. It'll get easier.

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