002 ⇒ video

[inebriety]

[Tony is sitting in a chair, feet propped up against a table with a drink in one hand. He's still avoiding those dreadful jumpsuits so he's dressed in one of his fancy suits instead although it's a little rumpled as he has no idea how to iron. Looking at him, you wouldn't be able to tell that he's barely keeping himself together.]

You know what I miss?

Good alcohol. Scotch, whiskey, a martini. This stuff is good enough to get drunk on, but still disappointing.

So let's barter. I'm sure some of you out there have something decent in your possession. I can build you a personalised nanite fleet, portable teleporter and/or force field, dimensional gate, super-soldier exo-suit, Thor's hammer-- actually scratch the hammer, weather manipulation in an enclosed space is just stupid, for the really good stuff and in large quantities.

For the lesser stuff you can choose between a weapon of your choice provided it's not something like a nuke, your very own pet Wall-E or some other small trinket, coffee machine, whatever.

Everything is negotiable and if you have something specific in mind feel free to ask. I also reserve the right to not do business with you for whatever reason.

[It means anyone wanting something that could be used as a weapon beyond a simple gun or sword will be scrutinised heavily. Also any of the big stuff will have built in safety mechanisms so he can shut it down remotely if the need arises. He doesn't really see anyone actually fulfilling his criteria for the big stuff, but he's crossing his fingers.]

The offer is open indefinitely and I'll probably have something up on that noticeboard.

[filtered to the Ultimates; encrypted 100%]

And just as an addition. I realise with the whole different timelines and all, not all of you would know about this. Clint knows already, but I'm sure you've all wondered at one point or another why someone like me is in this business.

I'm dying. [He looks incredibly relaxed as he says this and taps the side of his head.] Brain tumour, inoperable. Blah blah blah. I figured I'd go out with a bang. It's gone into remission a couple of times which is the only reason I'm still around, but it's back right now.

This isn't the important part.

[Speaking off camera.] Come over here.

[A young boy walks into view dressed in a suit just like Tony, basically imagine Tony as a child. The important thing to note here is that he is rather ghostly.]

This is Anthony, he's my tumour. Say hi, this is my team.

[Anthony smiles and waves at the camera.]

He's also a technopath. So any questions?

Comments

[aimlessness]

This sure is the stupidest thing I've seen, passing out weapons to a bunch of civilians.
You gunning to make Security's job more difficult than it has to be?

[inebriety]

This is hardly the worst thing I've ever done and it's better than being helpless.

What do I care about how difficult security's job is? Quite frankly, Howard Stark may not have met his end if he had been armed.

[aimlessness]

So handing out weapons to untrained civilians is a good thing?

I care about how difficult the security team's job is because it directly affects how difficult my job is.
And you're better off not using Howard Stark as leverage in this.

1/2

[inebriety]

[A two part message. The first under heavy encryption to make it invisible to anyone else and the second continues on as if nothing was different.]

I design everything with a fail-safe that is remotely activated by my nanites. I'm giving away things most people won't be able to use.

2/2

[inebriety]

I'd say so.

Then go and confiscate it from them. Hardly my business what happens after it leaves my hands.
Not leverage, making a point.