TEXT ;

[cons]

WHY IS THERE A MONSTER TURKEY VULTURE TRYING TO ATTACK ME FOR GOING INTO MY OWN ROOM HOLY SHIT NO SOMEBODY PLEASE COME CLAIM THEIR HIDEOUS PET BEFORE I SHOOT IT

THANKS




[ ooc: she's in talk-to-text mode. or... text to talk.. whatever. she's yelling at her communicator and it's translating it to text, right. ]

Comments

video; YOU KNOW WHY

[sebasher]

[TIGER

COUCH.]

I was certain someone would have shot it days ago.

text;

[player_not_slayer]

a what

the fuck is a turkey vulture doing in this place? and aren't you on my floor?

[If she starts screaming, he'll be able to hear here. Hilarious.]

text;

[learnedtosmile]

A turkey vulture?

Well, I guess if there's a dinosaur.

Does anyone have a net?

PERMATEXT

[cons]

NOT SO MUCH

[ ... after a second ]

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SITTING ON

you seeeeee nothing

[constructum]

[ what the fuck are you sitting on? ]

text;

[cons]

A N G R Y T U R K E Y

002 YES WE LIVE LIKE FIVE ROOMS AWAY FROM EACH OTHER HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT WELL WHATEVER LISTEN


YOU NEED TO FIND HELP

text;

[constructum]

[ see, this is why she doesn't want you all on the first floor. ]


What exactly do you mean by MONSTER?

text;

[cons]

IT MIGHT JUST BE A REGULAR TURKEY BUT IT'S REALLY BIG

AND REALLY ANGRY


I'M NOT SURE THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A TURKEY-CATCHING NET

text;

[cons]

IT'S HUGE

permavideo

[sebasher]

I would have shot it myself if I thought it was worth it. I'm glad I didn't. This is far too amusing.

[He would smile his shark smile but U G H just let him roll his eyes here.]

It's a tiger sofa, of course. What does it look like?

shhhh i see it all

[sebasher]

[A classy piece of furniture.]

text >> action

[player_not_slayer]

oh this I gotta see

[Brb actually getting the fuck up and poking his head out the door.]

Holy shit a fucking turkey. The fuck did you do, eat it's cousin or something?

text;

[learnedtosmile]

I'm sure a net of some kind would work, but I don't have one.

Just, you know. Don't make any sudden moves.

[He may or may not secretly be amused by this.]

text;

[constructum]

How big?

Can you talk to it?

action

[cons]

No! I didn't do anything, I'm just trying to get into my room but it's like- standing guard. [ Wichita is in full-on panic mode, comm and one hand and gun in the other, but the safety is on so really it's kinda useless. and she's got her back against the wall across from her room, on her tiptoes, like it's going to get her farther away. ] Every time I move it just comes at me!

[ LOOKING AT YOU NOW, KID. like you'll have the answers ] Simon!

[cons]

BUMMER.

IS THAT OFFICIAL COP ADVICE OR ARE YOU JUST HAVING A SUPER INTELLIGENT IDEA DAY






I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN THAT I'M JUST FREAKING OUT

text;

[cons]

ITS WINGSPAN REACHES ACROSS THE HALLWAY ALMOST ENTIRELY AND IT'S I GUESS THE AVERAGE HEIGHT FOR A TURKEY VULTURE WHY

IT'S A TURKEY SO NO I CANNOT TALK TO IT THIS IS SERIOUS ARIADNE BE SERIOUS

tears of the unseen

[constructum]

[ that is the most horrific thing ever. (and here she thought space was scary. THE COUCH MIGHT JUST TOP IT) ]

[learnedtosmile]

I'm afraid I haven't had much training in dealing with turkeys.

I can be there in a couple of minutes.

action

[player_not_slayer]

Why haven't you just shot the damn thing?

[Seriously, man. Wichita has a gun, and it's a fucking turkey.]

Well shit if you just stay there it's gonna like, bum rush you or some shit. I say make a break for it, man.

text;

[constructum]

Because WE'RE IN SPACE, THINGS EAT PEOPLE, I thought I should check.

And people talk to pets all the time; it's not that uncommon to talk to turkeys I'm sure. IT MIGHT LISTEN.

[cons]

YOU'RE A GENUINE ASS.

IT LOOKS LIKE WHOEVER STUFFS OUR LOCKERS WITH GOODIES NEEDS TO GET A BETTER TASTE IN ROOM DECOR.

text;

[cons]

UGH NO IT'S A PET IT'S PET-SIZED

WHAT ARE YOU SAYING HAVE YOU EVER GONE TO A FARM AND SAW THE FARMER GOING "HERE TURKEY TURKEY TURKEY"? NO BECAUSE THEY CAN'T TALK OR UNDERSTAND PEOPLE-TALK

[cons]

ENGLISH

[cons]

FIND SOMEONE WITH TURKEY EXPERIENCE PLEASE

OR SOMETHING I DUNNO WHAT DO I DO