TEXT ;

[cons]

WHY IS THERE A MONSTER TURKEY VULTURE TRYING TO ATTACK ME FOR GOING INTO MY OWN ROOM HOLY SHIT NO SOMEBODY PLEASE COME CLAIM THEIR HIDEOUS PET BEFORE I SHOOT IT

THANKS




[ ooc: she's in talk-to-text mode. or... text to talk.. whatever. she's yelling at her communicator and it's translating it to text, right. ]

Comments

text;

[cons]

HUMAN SPEECH OH MY GOD YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

[sebasher]

Or it's you who need to get better taste in room decor. Don't act so jealous, chum, I'm sure they'll give you one too if you ask nicely.

[learnedtosmile]

It probably belongs to someone. Is there something you can use to capture it? If not a net, maybe a blanket or something?

text;

[constructum]

gooble gobble?

action

[cons]

What if it really is somebody's pet? I can't just shoot it. [ she sighs, turns to watch the turkey again which won't stop fucking bobbing it's head at her like a certain sassy twelve year-old. TURKEY YOU ARE WORSE THAN LITTLE ROCK WHEN SHE'S IN HER WORST MOOD. Wichita scrunches her face at it, and when it takes a step forward she literally yells out something vaguely sounding like BAHH. ]

Do you think they really do that? Where am I gonna run, it's a straight hallway! Fuck. Fuck.

[cons]

I'VE LITERALLY GOT MY GUN IN ONE HAND AND MY COMM IN THE OTHER. LIKE I'M YELLING AT THE THING AND IT'S TYPING WHAT I SAY SO REALLY MY HANDS ARE FULL AND NO I DON'T HAVE A BLANKET WITH ME AT THE MOMENT

text;

[constructum]

Maybe it's a bilingual turkey.

text;

[cons]

YOU SUCK

text;

[constructum]

Seriously try anything, does it honestly matter?
It's a damn turkey.

[cons]

I ONLY KNOW ENGLISH AND WE'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT IT DOENS'T SPEAK ENGLISH SO

[player_not_slayer]

If it is a pet, just apologise and I dunno, make them a nice fucking turkey dinner or something. [He snickers a bit as the turkey advances on her a little and she yelps. He can't help it dude, this shit's pretty damn funny.]

Think you can make it this far before it guns you down?

text;

[cons]

IT MATTERS BECAUSE IT'S TRYING TO ATTACK ME YOU DON'T KNOW

[learnedtosmile]

All right, just hang on. Don't shoot anything.

[Yep, he's totally grabbing a blanket and some of that convenient cave diving equipment to help her now.]

text;

[constructum]

c'est sacrément amusant, vous savez ce pas? Je vous enseigner françaises

HUP ACCIDENTAL VIDEO

[cons]

That's awful! [ wah wah as she's answering texts during this conversation, she manages to turn on her video. it's like Blaire Witch style right now. mostly the ceiling, and the walls, then the turkey, then Wichita's face from a very unflattering angle- you get the drill. ]

Yeah? I mean, yeah! But if it's right on my heels I'm gonna keep running. And then I'm gonna blame you for my imminent death. By turkey. God. [ BREATHES ] Okay, okay. We need a plan. What's the plan? [ sliding that way when the turkey steps even closer ] Plan, plan, plan, plan, plan!

[cons]

I'M GONNA MAKE A RUN FOR IT

text;

[constructum]

Arent you bigger than the bird?

[cons]

IM' FLATTERED BUT NOW'S NOT THE TIME

[cons]

SO WHAT

[constructum]

Stand up to the damn bird.
What's the worst it can do to you?

[cons]

I'M OKAY WITH NEVER OWNING A COUCH LIKE THAT

EVER

WHOOPS ON VIDEO

[player_not_slayer]

What, no point in wasting the fucking turkey-- Did you just tell someone the fucking turkey can't speak English?

[What is his night. And oh shit oh shit the turkey's after her he's gonna watch her get taken down by a fucking murderturkey.] Shit shit run, man! Get in here get in here it's right behind you get in the room--

[cons]

BITE ME

[cons]

I MEAN IT COULD BITE ME

[sebasher]

Well, you're missing out, ain't you?

Best of luck with your turkey. Let me know how much damage it does.