ataraxion | 1 ✩ AUDIO

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1 ✩ AUDIO

[ after the death of sherlock - someone caroline never had the opportunity to meet - and the disappearance of elena, she's starting to wonder how this ship operates. she still feels brand spanking new, despite being on the ship for a few months already. there are things she doesn't even know that the first comers do. and as much as she likes to rely on the expertise of others, caroline's found fending for herself usually ends with her in less trouble. at the end of the day, though, caroline is so sick of losing people. ]

So many people seem to go missing on this ship. It's not like there's a How To Tranquility available - and if there is, where are the mass-produced copies? - but, anyway, I've only known a few people to go missing before. As in missing - gone, poof, like they no longer exist here.

How is it that you know when someone's gone? Besides them not answering their phone, which can mean a multitude of things back home, anyway, but is there a way people know when someone is gone-gone?

[ there's a pause. caroline's voice is softer and sadder. ] No one has an answer for why, do they?

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I think they put it onto the communicator filed right below Creeper Smilies & You.

[ damnit, caroline. these are things that aren't suppose to be talked about. they're just suppose to pretend like nothing happened, drown their feelings in substances and move on. ric and jenna got that, why can't you? ]

...She's gone. Gone gone. Poof, Mystic Falls gone.

[ he refuses to believe otherwise. ]

Be glad for it.

[ caroline rolls her eyes with a bit of a sigh. she honestly doesn't have time for your bullshit, damon. can't you be serious for one moment and not pick on her? ]

I'm sure you're included in that file.

[ if only it was a time for jokes, but, you know, can never resist calling damon a creeper ... or him having a nice smile. which one it is, you won't know. ]

And I know she's gone. I looked for her, Damon. Everywhere. Asking questions never hurt anyone.

[ trololol. caroline just wants to be able to recognise when someone's gone, so she can tell people, too. she's so sick of finding out everyone's gone, though. being the person to realise they're not here is something she hasn't experienced yet - and probably something she shouldn't. ]

i don't want to be.

[ having answers makes life more easier. or does it? honestly, half the answers caroline receives ends with life being the opposite of a dream. ]

Edited 2012-08-23 08:37 (UTC)

[He does not know her, but well does he know the worry of people gone missing--and so he makes a reply.]

If we were brought here for some purpose, we will be sent home for some purpose, too.

Would you prefer the answer of a bloated body floating in the pool? Or last words broadcasted to the entire ship?

[Like Damon, he cannot accept that their doppelganger has gone anywhere other than Mystic Falls (and that there is a chance she could return).

It's just for entirely different reasons and needs.]

Does it really matter?

They are gone, Sunshine.

Death or disappearance, it's all the same in the end.

[He doesn't sound happy, just frustrated.]

Well, people seem to know when people die here, so I mean...she's most likely gone gone, which is better, right? [Wow Tyler, way to be a comforting boyfriend.]

[ no, he can't. she's pretty easy to pick on. besides, when you're feeling like complete shit, systematically driving away your ~~friends~~ acquaintances is the best thing to do, right? ]

Nope, just Stefan. Good guess though.

[ cue damon being really happy this is audio and not video, because that just hit a little too close to home. in retrospect he probably should have said something to caroline but...well...he's been dealing with a lot of shit lately, alright? ]

Who knows, maybe she's back home blabbing to us about her crazy, realistic spaceship nightmare.

[ it's suppose to sound like dickish sarcasm but it just comes out depressed. ]

Maybe isn't good enough, Damon. She has to be home. And if she's not - [ well, she's not dead, is she? and they haven't really heard about people being sent to other ships, so caroline knows elena is home. she just hates that she isn't home with her. elena may be home, waiting for her, but caroline still lost her. from her dad to her mom - only to find her again - to who she is at her very core, caroline's tired of losing her grip on these things.

and maybe she's a moron, because she takes a few minutes before she speaks softly and admits something she'd rather admit to stefan than damon: ] I'm really tired of losing people.

[ she thinks about not responding to him because he's crass and a major asshole, but caroline's never really been one to not attack back. ]

you never cared about elena. i'd rather know how people know someone's gone than to hold onto some weird false hope that she's somewhere around this ship.

[ ... which is what she was doing before these lovely visuals, thanks klaus. remind her to vote for you as best comforter of the tranquility. ]

[ caroline doesn't really believe that anyone is brought here for a good reason. she honestly doesn't want to even believe it. and elena going home is good, since she'll be able to cope with her new vampirism better there, but she still wonders why she was taken just when she was brought back again. ]

And if that purpose was to die?

There has to be a better way of finding out if someone's gone than stalking around this ship looking for them.

[ which is a massive waste of time but whatever, whatever, caroline's more angry about one more thing. ]

She left once; she can come back again.

[ well, she left during a jump, but details! ]

Yeah, it is. It is. [ because it is. if elena was dead, caroline would never forgive herself. that's why she sounds like she's convincing herself that being gone rather than dead is a better way to get off this ship - because it is. ] But it still sucks.

[ she sighs. there's nothing else to really say about it, because being gone gone is better than simply being another person on some weirdo's hit list. it's depressing to think that people know when people die around here, but don't know when someone's simply gone home. ]

Are you free?

[ why did he choose to have this conversation? he's not great with this stuff, can barely handle elena being gone himself, and whatever he says is bound to make caroline feel worse rather than better. besides, she's got teen wolf and his broody brother to listen to her problems and comfort her properly. and jenna's good with others. hell, kalus is probably jumping on the opportunity too (yeah, he knows all about that now).

but. damn it he can't just let it go. not because he cares about caroline or anything. not at all. ]

We've both got shit luck in that department, what can I say. [ a pause. ] Hey, you're in your room, right?

[ because he has a space booze peace offering that will say more than his poorly chosen words and flat sarcasm can. ]

[ finding something in common with damon was not on caroline's bucket list, but, you know, at the end of the day, deep, deep, deep down, caroline will be glad for it. someday. right now, it's much easier for her to either say how she feels or project her anger onto a very easy target - not that anything about damon is ever easy. caroline's always about the denial, but both of them need to sit down and see that elena's gone and there's a chance she's never coming back. honestly? she'd rather have something else in common with damon, like a love for blue. ]

I haven't found any reason to come out of it. [ because hiding in your little den in a psycho spaceship is the best life choice. ] It's probably the safest place on this ship ... [ there's a pause where she thinks that over. ] That sounded so wrong.

Yeah it does.

[He's not as close to Elena as Caroline is, but it's still not comforting that someone from home has just...gone missing on them. It could happen to any of them.

It's not a comforting thought.]

I am. What do you need?

[He can't really deny that he never cared about her, not in the way Caroline means.

Oh well.

He also really can't say much about the rest. There's an equally frustrating lack of information on his end.]

She's gone.

[But he remains sure of that, absence of truly solid proof aside, and so that's going to be the last thing he says about the subject. He would add: you can tell by the lack of Salvatores running around like chickens with their heads cut off. And if he thought his property was in danger he might have been found acting the same (only he would be much more dignified about it, with threats!).

A slight pause between messages.]

How are you?

[Yes, he is changing gears. Might as well try to get something from this. And maybe he actually does care, in his own way.]

Edited 2012-08-25 09:19 (UTC)

You. [ and she's not being cheesy for once. it's the simple fact that she needs him; if she sees him then she knows that he is very much real and he's very much still here, despite her not wanting any of them to be here anymore. ] I wanted to ask you something. I could stop by if you're in your room?

Stop by, I'm here. [Not that he'd ever say no to her, especially when he knows she needs him.]

[ caroline thinks it's the end of this rather blunt texting, but she's surprised by the sudden change in speed when his second text comes in. she thinks about ignoring it, because there's a chance klaus is going to take this as the perfect time to lecture her on her life and her choices. but she texts back anyway because she's glutton for punishment. ]

how do you think i am?

I'll be there before you can even think to blink.

[ and that, she does. give her a few minutes and there's a few knocks on the door. vampire speed sure does have it's advantages, even when they're on the same floor. ]

[He gets up, opening the door as soon as he hears her knock. He smiles weakly, taking her hand before tugging her inside.]

Hey.

Hey. [ she squeezes his hand, moving inside the room at the tug of it. she's relieved to see him, and it shows on her face. she doesn't really want to talk about elena, because talking about it makes it real and caroline's very, very good at pretending that the really hurtful things are just a part of her imagination and do not exist. (except she does.) but she's come here for something else, other than to merely be in tyler's presence. which means she goes for small talk, because saying what's on her mind is one thing she wants to avoid just this second. ] For once, I'm kind of grateful that we don't live across town or whatever from each other. Vampire speed is less likely to be seen around here.

There's definitely a few perks to living so close. [Considering how hectic things get on the ship sometimes, he definitely appreciates at least having Caroline close by. It's comforting. ]

You said you wanted to talk to me?

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