01 ☆ regarding assholes and liquor

[runshouse]

You know what I miss? I miss getting drunk.

The simple pleasures of life. Perhaps the taste of peanut brittle! Or the view you get when a gal in a particularly short skirt bends over to flash whatever's underneath. Flowers in spring or some stupid shit like that, whatever people get their jollies off on. Scratch the peanut brittle thing, actually. In retrospect, peanut brittle is fucking disgusting.

[ Bartleby's sitting at one of the kitchen counters it seems, an elbow propped on the surface, his head tilted against a fist. He looks thoughtful, and yet sounds aggravated. Sardonic. ]

You know what I don't miss? Assholes who get lost for weeks inside a never-ending corn maze with less corn and more maze without even bothering to leave their phone on. Can you believe the damn cretinism that has to go into something so careless as that? Is it retardation, I ask of you? No, for that is too simple an answer. I don't miss Wisconsin. Nobody misses Wisconsin.

Also the Spice Girls. I really don't miss the Spice Girls. I'm probably pushing my luck with saying that one aloud.

Comments

[ video ]

[hostage]

But... Posh Spice, yo.

[Come on.]

[ video ]

[runshouse]

Ehh! [ He looks indecisive, and shrugs a shoulder. ] She never did much for me. No tits, y'know?

text;

[majestyofthethrone]

Have you heard One Direction? They're like the Spice Girls but boys.

text;

[runshouse]

British Backstreet Boys. All right. Kiiiiind of not regretting the fact I've never heard of those ones.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

Please do bear in mind that children can hear this.

[voice]

[runshouse]

They sure can. Every single word.

video|

[entrapments]

Don't worry papa bear, the children have been dealing with way worse than 'jollies' and a few swear words.

video »

[ripstides]

And somehow you're still telling us what you want, what you really, really want. [ sarcasm invites sarcasm, dude. ] Anyway, I think there's a bar here. Enough people talk about getting wasted on board for there to be.

video »

[runshouse]

Oh, for the love of Christ - [ He's smirking, but he's holding up a hand of warning. ] No, please. I beg of you.

There's definitely booze here! I've seen it, [ and the underage drinking, recent, on a few people here, ] but none so much luck. Allergic to alcohol! Late onset. What're the odds?

[ video ]

[kicktomorrow]

[Look at this Posh Spice looking chick over here. Jesse Pinkman is a wise man.]

I'm not seeing the connection between getting lost and Wisconsin. Unless someone is trying to get so lost they end up in Wisconsin.

Which would be incredibly stupid.

[ video ]

[runshouse]

[ Not bad, not bad at all! But Jesse also can't afford to be as picky on account of he actually owns a dick and can sample the goods anyway. So Bartleby likes what he likes. ]

The alternative's- you know, we lived in Wisconsin. [ SHRUG ] He's, uh. A buddy of mine, from back home. Gone missing. All that jazz.

[video]

[fuckinghysterical]

[This Beauty's seemingly sitting at a table, of sorts, frowning a little as she leans her head against a scrunched up hand.]

I wish I could get drunk, heeheehee...

[Her frown doesn't last long, however, as the last statement really piqued her curiosity.]

Who the hell are the Spice Girls, though? Somehow I'm - uh - getting the feeling they're not associated with any militant organization from the other replies here, heheheh.

[video]

[runshouse]

[ ... Interesting. He gazes at her a beat or two longer than he should before he does speak up, eyebrows raised in intrigue. ]

You and I both. Would you believe it, an allergy to alcohol? Or something specific in it, all that mumbo jumbo, but can't drink, can't get drunk. It's a trap, assuredly. So spill. [ Why she can't, that is. ]

[ wow really, his eyes widen a little. ] Nnnooooo, you'd be a little off-base with that one. More like a group of deranged pop superstars with stereotypical British accents, who are comprised mainly of legs and tits.

video;

[showbizpanache]

The Spice Girls were genius-- But I can't imagine you have the intellectual capacity to embrace any cultural concepts other than blatant misogyny and the sheer inability to string a coherent sentence together.

video;

[runshouse]

Ouch. Big fan, huh? That's quite the bee in your bonnet, and oh so very soon.

video;

[stimulations]

Perhaps you aren't looking hard enough. For the simple pleasures, that is.

video;

[runshouse]

Or maybe my mood just isn't an overall pleasurable one for the time being.

[ But he looks challenging, a faint grin at the corner of his mouth. ]

Name a few; we'll see how they stack up.

video;

[tumbleweeds]

What if there's nothing underneath?

And there's booze in the kitchens.

video;

[runshouse]

Then she puts out or she's crazy. Or both, depending on your luck.

Everyone mentions the booze, y'know? It's not that I can't here. I just can't.

[blunted]

nobody goes to wisconsin
willingly, that is.

[runshouse]

Willingly being the operative word there. I was kinda stuck in one of those financial voids before I was led on my merry chase aboard the good ship Tranquility.

[welding]

Who the hell are the Spice Girls?

[Future people got no concept of girl power bands.]

[runshouse]

[ They do, however, get the abject scorn of angels from the nineties. ]

Really?

video;

[lacksgrace]

I like your kind of thinking. But to be clear - [ And he leans forward a little. ] - just how drunk are we talking?

video;

[runshouse]

[ And for a moment his eyes flash, like it's a challenge. ] I'm talking the Earth-shattering kind, absolutely universally stopping. The special kind of drunk you don't need to remember to know you had a good time.

audio;

[dirtyword]

Kitchen can constitute as a gin joint if you really want. There's usually a supply every jump. [ Before the teenagers and the pirates swipe it, at least. ]

audio;

[runshouse]

Oh, sure it could, if you wanted. You could make a killing off wine and cooking alcohol alone, if you were the special kind of desperate. None so much for me.

video;

[onsilksheets]

I miss my car, my apartment in New York and the beach.

Why can't you get drunk?

video;

[runshouse]

Allergic to alcohol. What's in New York?

[heltersskelter]

there are plenty of girls around here though.

[runshouse]

Largely jump-suited and filled with self-appointed respect. You see the conundrum now.

video;

[gothchicklit]

[ What even is your train of thought, Bartleby? ]

You're a real charmer, aren't you?

video;

[runshouse]

[ Convoluted and self-righteous are two good words for it. ]

I try. Is it coming off that way? Why, thank you.

Video

[bottlearum]

Liquor be in the kitchens, mate. Problem solved.

Video

[runshouse]

Allergic, I'm afraid! [ He draws up his face, wounded. ] Unsolved.

Text;

[theredchampion]

[ Niall has read this several times over now, and he's come to the conclusion that a) You talk a lot and b) he's curious and wants to poke at you with a stick. ]

Who is it that you've lost, then? I've heard some vanish within this ship and never return. If it's a friend, I hope for you sake that is not the case.

Text;

[runshouse]

[ Both solid observations, one very accurate and one very plausible! ]

A friend, in fact, and the asshole who couldn't read a map if you stuck it naked in his face and it taught him to dance, so Heaven only knows where he's at now.

visual ; late and IDEC

[unparental]

You sure you don't wanna tell us how you feel, how you really really feel?

[ yup. ]

also late ZERO FUCKS

[runshouse]

Nah, if I really wanted to delve into the true simple joys, I'd get into the fine art of pornography. [ He chuckles to himself, like he's just brought up the best joke. ] Let me tell you, if you ever want to have a good laugh -