While I am looking into joining some branch of the science department on board and am generally taking time to acclimatize to new surroundings, I'm not used to having so little to do. I've been taking advantage of the media libraries and reading back on the network, but I'd really prefer to have something to work on. If anyone has any odd jobs, needs anything fixed or built depending on whether the materials are available, consider this an open offer. Trade is negotiable, since this is something I'm asking for.

I can provide character references if people are worried about their belongings being damaged. If the term means anything to anyone, electrical and mechanical engineering are amongst my specialties.

[Which is as polite a way as he can think of implying that he has more than one without it coming off as bragging.

Also he has probably typed and re-typed a lot of this, but at the same time thank mutant baby Jesus goodness something like text function exists in all it's glory because it's made life about ten times easier to navigate.]

I've got some weed that needs growing: it's special, you might even call it magical, and it takes a delicate hand to grow.

[ The clinking of glass rings through the speakers, before the video snaps on, broadcasting Amory, mussed up hair and an inebriated gleam to his eyes. He tops off a glass of scotch, before addressing the camera. ]

You'd think growing up on a vineyard, I would've learn how to grow something— but then again, that's why we hired help.

And that's why I'm looking for an elf.

You guys have that Disney princess thing going on, right? Best friends with animals, flowers, bugs, other tiny, pathetic creatures. Think one of you can sing my weed to grow?

A fairy might work too.

[ Is this a joke, or is Amory being serious and vaguely racist... who knows. Or maybe he does. ]