[ Stannis turns on the feed, seated in his quarters with a goshawk, and looking rather… unimpressed. Of course, this is hardly a change. And of course, when he speaks, his voice is firm and commanding. ]

Though I mislike these devices, I see little other manner in which mine inquiry may be answered.

[ He sets his jaw, moving his teeth from side to side. ]

They say that this is a vessel that moves through… space [ as preposterous as it sounded… there was hardly any denying such ]. This begs the question as to how one would conduct a battle aboard such a vessel. It would not function as a typical vessel, moving instead in four distinct directions, as opposed to two, would it not?

[ A frown. As much as he loathes to do this… ]

I would have more information on such strategies, and if this vessel has ever encountered another, and been forced to do battle. I would also know how one can apply their knowledge of ship combat to the Tranquility.

[ And with that, he hastily shuts off the feed, having little else to discuss.

He loathed ignorance. And he would fully cure himself of the affliction ]

[The feed flicks on, revealing a young, blond woman, chilling in some hallway in a...bat-costume? She's grinning pretty widely for someone who's supposed to be dark as the (k)night.]

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's—[dramatic pause]—sure as hell a giant, creepy spaceship because Superman you ain't. [She sighs, grin disappearing in favor of a more deadpan expression.]

So, hey, I'm new, but let's skip the mental breakdowns, freak outs, where is "x", have you seen my "y," I am scared, blah blah, wah wah, yadda yadda, etcetera, ad naseum [dismissive wave] and go straight to introductions and pleasantries.

Hey, space people. I'm Batgirl. The real deal, even — see, I come fully equipped with Batarangs, witty retorts, and everything. Yeah, yeah, I've snooped through the network. Done a little detecting, as they say. I've heard rumors of comics and fourthwalls; don't worry. If I'm fictional where you're from, then I will be available for autographs upon request. The one thing I ask of you is pretty please: no spoilers. I happen to like surprises.

Anyway, I also like coffee and waffles, especially in delicious conjunction, rooftop tag, crime fighting, and, of course, justice.

I'm sure you've seen my spooky boss-man's pseudo-vandalism, but I figured I should put the word out in my own way: call me, beep me, if you want to text me; that's a-okay. I'll be there whenever you need me, as cheesy as that sounds. It's part of the super-gig. You can ask questions and/or heckle now, I guess. Do whatever floats your boat. I'll be here aaaaaaall week.