ataraxion | JACK NOIR ==> [VIDEO] two

[Oh hey look, a giant winged one-armed spacedog with tentacles and an exoskeleton! Everyone who hasn't been acquainted with Jack yet, feel free to boggle at this nonsense. The fuck is this guy even??

For the rest of you, oh hey look, it's Jack and he seems especially pissed off today while standing in one of the kitchens. What's his deal?

His deal is, apparently, steak. He is holding up the fatty leftover bits of someone's dinner, which he probably fished out of the garbage. And by probably I mean yes, yes he did.]

Do you know what this is, you ungrateful fat fucks? This is PERFECTLY good meat going to waste because some of you assholes are too fucking lazy to finish your goddamn food! Fuck, look at some of this shit-- [he's just gonna start pulling shit out of the nearest garbage now. If you have thrown any food out in the last few days, it's probably in there. Jack might have been rummaging through all the garbage cans earlier to collect this shit. All of it's in varying states of half-eaten grossness.] What the fuck do you think's gonna happen if there's a food shortage, huh?! Or hell, why don't you try eating nothing but cardboard for a whole human year or two! That sure sounds like a fucking blast, doesn't it?!

So let's get one thing straight here. If I catch any of you wasting perfectly good food? You're getting a knife to the fucking gut! Got a problem with that? Don't fucking waste anything! It's not that fucking complicated!

[and then he starts eating those leftover garbagey steak bits

delicious]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I see your point. I don't throw food, myself. It would seem nobody here has been hungry in their lives, or they wouldn't do that.

You better fucking not, or I'll know! [munchmunch]

Where I'm from you'd probably get fucking murdered for throwing this kind of shit out and not even the goody-two-shoes types would give a fuck.

As I said, I don't. And I think I would give a 'fuck'.

Good, 'cause you should. Everyone should.

[gulp

rifling through trash some more]

Shit, is that an apple??

Well, everyone should, that's for sure, and everyone should also know what they're able to eat, I get that.

I don't know, I can't see from where I am.

That's disgusting.

[Is she talking about the waste of food, or Jack eating out of the garbage? Who knows!]

Shut your fucking trap, this is delicious!

[and now he's (space-)grabbing a jar of peanutbutter to add to this mess. Peanutbuttersteak, mmmmmmmmm.]

Is it really, or are you just doing that to make a point?

[Because no sane person would eat peanutbuttersteak like it's from the goddamn Outback Steakhouse.

[...she thinks.]

[no sane person who isn't Jack Noir

and, well. part dog.]

Well it's not my fault if you're too goddamn picky! If no one else is gonna eat this shit then I sure as hell will!

[True facts.]

...knock yourself out.

Don't mind if I do.

[stuffing half a days-old burger in his mouth

still recording all of this]

Ugh.

[She just makes a disgusted look and walks away from her computer.]

[jack laughing alone with burgers.avi]

The irony of this hostile little public service announcement is that none of that food has now gone to waste. If you had a burning desire to act as the ship's garbage disposal, you could have mentioned.

It's only "garbage" because you assholes tried to throw it out, dumbass! And if you all weren't so fucking wasteful it wouldn't even be a damn problem!!

[FUMING for the sake of fuming really]

I think you missed my point. We could write your name on all the bins, if that would make you feel better.

[And Ianto is just...trolling for the sake of trolling. Sorry. :'D]

I don't want your fucking garbage!!

[except he... does...]

[Ianto's imperiously raised eyebrow is almost audible, as if to say "you could have fooled me.".]

Garbage, is it?

My. How appetizing.

SH

damn straight it is
itd look better if you people didnt fucking throw it out for no reason

you trying to shush me or something
fuck you

gross

[wait this is the guy he was so afraid of????

he's eating garbage!!!

that's so nonthreatening.]

at least im not a loser
shut up or ill eat your goddamn fishsticks

[that... could mean a lot of things]

right ok wwell havve fun bein fuckin contentious an shit i guess

[sufficiently creeped out BY ALL POSSIBLE MEANINGS.]

JACK NOIR ==> [VIDEO] two

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