ataraxion | 12th Marker

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12th Marker | Video

Fuck.

[Surely in what is the best way to start a feed, one drained man in a big bad suit is sitting with his eyes closed. A twitch of the mouth shows teeth gritted in irritation, before he looks up and opens his mouth again.]

I won't pretend to know if we lost anyone there, but I imagine there might have been at least a person or two. Anyone's free to prove me wrong.

[He looks to the side, obviously having gotten distracted, he sighs a bit, scratching the back of his head.]

...Anyway, that's not what I'm here to talk about. Well, it is, but not quite that. I know I'm not the only one who got the star-studded treatment of that hell-hole, and I guess what I should say is... it'll get better.

It was a nightmare for me for sure, but- I've had to deal with stuff like that before, things that try to reach out and poke at your mind - or in this case, crush it like a goddamn grape. It's terrifying, it's excruciating, and I'm sure a lot of you are still recovering from it. I'm not saying you have to talk to me about it, but I wouldn't be against it either. I've been down here with the hum of machines since we all got back on our little fucking pleasure cruise, if you don't feel comfortable on the network. Either way...

[He looks up at the feed, grim eyes focused.]

Don't let it rattle you too much. We've still got a long way to go, and there are people willing to help.

Clarke out.

[PRIVATE - 50% LOCK - SEC » 007 » 114: EDGEWORTH, MILES]

How're you holding up, Miles?

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[He hesitates for a long while, trying to decide which medium to use. Not video, certainly - but he could use voice, or he could use text. In the end, he tries speaking and finds his voice is hoarse and so goes with the safer option.

Even then it sounds stupid and awkward.]

I am uninjured. Have you heard anything from others?

[He drops down to text to, might as well. HE doesn't blame Edgeworth.]

Since we got back? Nah. Everyone's been real quiet. Don't blame them.

Right. [He swallows and somehow works up the courage to type:] I should like to apologize for my shameful and cowardly comportment aboard the space station. I was a hindrance; without you, we'd most likely not have escaped.

Don't worry about it. Like I said - this isn't exactly my first time in a shitstorm of this magnitude. There's no reason to apologize.

No, there is. It was shameful. I beg you not to think I will act like that under other circumstances.

Don't worry, I'm well aware how much something like this can make something act differently.

I don't see the need for apologies... but I'll take it nonetheless. Considering you're still up for talking, you must've resisted quite a bit, even if you don't think so.

[Is that what he thinks it is? Just lingering effects from the procedure? That's...less shameful, even if any weakness is shameful, and so he doesn't correct the misconception.]

No. I wasn't affected like Mr. Pinkman was.

Some got it worse than others, but the fact remains - you're at least back on your feet, which is one person more who's able to keep moving after something like this.

[Because Alex really isn't in the mood to talk.]

No way in hell we saved everyone.

[He can't find one person--he's going to end up blaming himself.]

Right. What are you going to be doing?

Same thing I've been doing - slowly figuring out how this ship works, so we don't need to be afraid. Get my hands greasy down here in the bowels of the ship. Stave off nightmares of what happened-

You know. A normal day.

[She's kept her mouth shut about what happened, mostly because she doesn't want her mild distress being spoken about among the crew. But Isaac talks like he knows how it feels and that...that's unsettling.]

When did this happen to you?

... Wasn't new to you either, huh?

[His voice is low, thoughtful. Damn, man--so many people around here have gotten their heads fucked with, he's almost at a lost at how to help with it. Hell, he can barely help himself, half the time. For example - being laid up in his bed, tired, his brain sore like a muscle. Yeah, he still has a way to go with his mind problems.]

Did a lot of people sit through the processing? I, uh. I wasn't around for long after I broke out, so I was worried...

[Oh Alex, you appeal to the jaded hero-type in him.]

Figured as much.

Any major causalities you can be sure of? Might as well get a tally...

[...Oops. He should have probably laid low on that.]

Which part in specific, Re-l?

Seen it before, definitely.

As far as how many sat through the processing.... I don't know. I know there was quite a few, but hard numbers - I've got jack.

All of it, Isaac.

[Her tone brooks no argument.]

[Welp.]

...The last ship I was on. The Ishimura. It was a lot like this. Except everyone had already died to things like what we found in the science lab.

Except add onto that the mental mangling we saw during our little field trip - not quite the same, but similar enough to the mental pressure - and you have what I would call "an average day on the job."

Right. That does make sense.

... Damn...

[He wouldn't be surprised, if they lost people. There's no way they could've all gotten out of there unchanged.]

It's... It's a good thing whatever was controlling that couldn't jump ships, anyway. I guess saying 'it could have been worse' is a cliche at this point, but I'm just glad to be outta' there.

I know of one, at least. Girl named Zatanna.

[He needs to stop picking up people for friends. Just fucks him up more when things go to shit.]

When you were in there...

Did you hear anything?

You're welcome to drop by down here if you want, Miles. Might not be your scene, but the hum of machinery seems to always really settle me down.

Didn't know her... but damn.

[But you won't, because ISaac knows that feeling well, but you can't stop reaching out-]

Dammit all. I should have known something was fishy, I should have been able to do something-!

Even if it's cliche, it can always get worse.

[It's something Isaac knows well himself. The thought of it jumping on baord definitely crossed his mind, too-]

There's at least one causality, probably more. We didn't lose the whole ship, but we lost a few good people.

Is that area not restricted to those with mechanical expertise?

...What exactly did you hear, before I answer?

Only the jump drive's really kept an eye on, and worst comes to worse - you're with me. I practically live down here.

[Can he even look Clarke in the eye after his prior display?]

I'll take that under advisement. It might be educational.

...

It sounded like a voice.

I tried.

I knew--

--I got a few people out.

[But that doesn't mean he can forgive himself for not getting her out. He hadn't known.]

[He's quiet for a moment, weighing that. It's hard to hear, but... The positives have to be remembered. If they're not, they'd all give up and go belly-up.]

... We didn't lose the ship. We have that much, at least.

Next time we run into a mystery shipyard, though, maybe sending out one shuttle to test the waters'd be a good idea... Who knows if that place has other stations out there they've spread to.

that was real inspirational
js

Inspirational wasn't really what I was going for.

But if it helps, it helps.

[ISAAC CLARKE. UNSUNG HERO.]

...Yeah, same here.

So you heard that too.

it probably helps
not everyone's been through it before.

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12th Marker | Video

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