First Edition || Video;

[allucinator]

[Jack looks quite ill as he comes on screen: there are dark circles beneath his eyes, and there's a faint sheen of sweat on his face. He also looks a bit thinner than he did, though no one might actually notice that one. It's not severe, after all.]

Listen, uh, I-- I know you guys don't know me too well, and you got a lotta other stuff on your mind, but, uh, help a guy out, yeah? I ain't had no cigarette in about four days and I'm dyin' for it. Anythin' anybody's got, you know? I promise I'll do somethin' for you in return, I don't give a damn what, but-- anythin'. Please.

Please.

[He tries for a winning sort of smile, rather fails, and shuts the communicator.]

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

[Miles shakes his head incredulously.]

First - I wasn't offering. And second, that sounds disgusting.

[allucinator]

Shows what you know, it's delicious. Wouldn't get through work without it.

[jurisimpudent]

Then your work must be something that requires bad breath, bitterness, and shaking hands.

[He leans against the wall to put his shoe back on.]

[allucinator]

Drawin' thin's, actually, so no. Anyway, my girl likes the way my breath smells, so, again, shows what you know, kid.

[jurisimpudent]

[At that renewed chorus, Miles once again draws himself up straight and holds a hand up to the top of his head: This is how tall I am. And then he gestures for Jack to stand again.]

[allucinator]

[But Jack simply watches him with interest from the bed.]

Got lice?

[jurisimpudent]

Wh...

[Now he does splutter.]

No I do not have lice!

[allucinator]

Then stop scratchin' your head.

[jurisimpudent]

I'm not -

[He scowls deeply and stumps over to where he's stashed his meager possessions.]

Look - do you want to see my certificate?

[allucinator]

Certificate o' what?

[jurisimpudent]

Of passing the bar.

[He pulls out his briefcase, places it on the bed, and clicks it open. On top of the files inside is a piece of paper that certifies that he is indeed able to practice law in the state of California.

Miles brandishes it in his face.]

Examine! Born in 1992; passed the bar in 2012. Ergo, by basic math, my age is at least...?

I love that he was born in 1992 because we're the same age and I never make a mistake with this.

[allucinator]

[Jack might surprise Edgeworth with how quickly he answers.]

Twenty. Obviously. You ever think how weird it is you was born a hundred an' twenty years after me?

UNLIKE THE CREATORS OF THE PHOENIX WRIGHT VIDEO GAME SERIES......

[jurisimpudent]

[Edgeworth is surprised - but mostly because Jack didn't ooh and ahh over his certificate. It's really impressive, all right, embossed and all that...No matter, he supposes, though he only half-lowers it in case Jack does end up wanting to look.]

...I've not precisely spent a great deal of time pondering your birth. But - yes. It is...disconcerting.

AND ME pretend Jack said ten years, not twenty.

[allucinator]

Well, you shoulda. For all you know I'm your real great-grandpa.

I assume with regards to "One hundred and twenty," not calling Miles ten.

[jurisimpudent]

[He scowls, but mutters:]

I think it's unlikely.

yes obviously

[allucinator]

You dunno that. Maybe your gran had an affair with a dashin' lad one night.

[jurisimpudent]

Are you honestly casting aspersions on my great-grandmother's honor?

[allucinator]

Yep! She was sexy, though, so, you know, congratulations.

[jurisimpudent]

[His glare is a mixture of anger and sheer confusion.]

Don't.

[allucinator]

Don't you wanna learn family history?

[jurisimpudent]

I do not find this amusing.