002; Video

[killarevolution]

[Haymitch Abernathy is learning a valuable lesson today. Just because it’s alcoholic and you’ve never tried it before doesn’t mean that you should just accept it. And if you do feel compelled to accept it, you should probably... Not take multiple shots of it in a row.

Suffice to say? Haymitch is drunk. More drunk than usual. Drunk enough that he is actively sprawled on a couch in a common area and laughing. He’s turned his comm on, but whatever he was going to say is apparently less important than his present conversation.]

-next thing we know, he’s got this spiral pattern shaved into his beard. Realized he’d made a mistake after his first interview with it, but by then, everyone had made it his trademark. Couldn’t get rid of it after that.

[Megamind’s voice breaks in, remarkably even in pitch -- with enough liquor in him to tranq someone three times his weight, the jittery little alien sounds less like a shrill parody of a supervillain and more like just a-- guy. A person with thoughts and feelings that don’t involve saying it’s evil or something else equally ludicrous every five minutes. Sobriety makes him crazy, but drunk? Apparently drunk makes him very zen and calm. Probably for the best.]

Trademarks are important. Nobody cares about mine, but at home I protect them quite vigorously. So is shaving. Right now if I could get a good shaving kit-- blades, brush, the whole shebang-- I think I’d-- I’d do something rash. Something -- very... yes. Rash. Vigorously rash.

[A tiny pause, a clink of something; glass against a tabletop, perhaps.]

I think your comm’s on. It’s blinking. Is it supposed to be on?

[Haymitch glances at it.] So it is. Thought I turned that on for a reason. [And he has a reason. Really, he does. Actually, it’s not much of a reason so much as it’s him continuing to mock everyone knee-deep in this conspiracy, and considering he’s currently drinking with a member of The List, how much he cares about it is damn clear.] Worked out that list yet? Figured out what’s going on? [He barks a laugh. Oh, he has ideas. Ideas he won’t share, drunk or sober, but if this is truly the Capitol... Well, he can’t help but add a little jab at them.] Guessing not. Sure it’ll come to you. In the meantime... [He waves a hand brusquely, grinning in a manner that is not entirely pleasant. While Megamind is acting like a guy, he’s acting more like the overdramatic supervillain. The difference, however, is that... he’s just a dick, who gets a thrill out of being intentionally vague.] May the odds be ever in your favor.

[A pause; Megamind is still off screen.] You say that like it’s supposed to have meaning. [He knew about things that had ‘meaning’; trademarks, costumes, Destiny with a capitol D’.] A saying from your world?

[Haymitch barks a laugh, loud and drunk.] Exactly that. Might even call it a trademark.

[He cuts the feed without even pausing to let that sink in.]

Comments

[notpanicking]

[That is a familiar voice -- and an unfamiliar one as well.]

'Vigorously rash'? Sounds a bit like a personal problem.

[megamind]

Oh! Hello, Roxanne!

[killarevolution]

[Off in the corner, Haymitch smirks over his vodka.] Your girl, I assume?

[megamind]

[There's a blink as -- nobody's actually put if that way, and Megamind answers, with only a little bit of pause]

Yes. Yes, she is.

[notpanicking]

[light, teasing;]

You had to think about that answer?

[megamind]

Mmmno. Not really. Just. The way he asked.

You are my girl, though. [And this makes him a teensy bit smug.]

[notpanicking]

Good.

[She smiles.]

I'm glad.

[megamind]

We're -- uh, what's the word? Carousing. [...party of two, but still.]

[notpanicking]

Hi, Megamind. Having fun?

[megamind]

Yup! Haymitch is very interesting. And talks a lot. [And when drunk, Megamind talks less and listens more. He'll have fun trying to process the memories when he's sober, though.]

[65]

[Finnick is all like OH MY GOD HAYMITCH WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN. But then he remembers that Haymitch is from District 12, so ... that's a yes. (unsure) And as acts like falling off the stage and groping Effie Trinket on national television have come to show, he has no shame.]

The accent needs work.

[killarevolution]

[No he does not. Good boy, Finnick. You LEARN.]

Haven't heard it in awhile. Must've slipped my mind. [Except where it's probably a British accent and there is a disproportionate number of British people here. Shut up.]

[65]

It's more like, may the odds be ever in your favor. [he's so good at it. ponce is in his blood. like an std i mean what]

Anyway. Were you talking about Crane's beard before you realized the comm was on?

[killarevolution]

[God, Finnick. Do you realize how gay that sounds?] Wouldn't overdo it too much. Might give someone the impression all those Capitol parties are going to your head. [Snicker. Ow. Snickering hurts, even trough alcohol. Thank you, Mattie. He didn't need... his ribs or anything.]

I was? [Give him a second. Five minutes ago is... a long time for his recall.] Still tragic we lost such a national treasure. [The beard, not Crane.]

[65]

[He shrugs. It's not like anyone around here is going to ... notice or care.]

Truly. Was there a story behind the beard? I don't think I've heard it.

[killarevolution]

Chaff and I told him he needed something to make him stand out. [He pauses, considering.] Mostly Chaff's idea. We both got a laugh out of it when he actually did it, though.

[65]

[That gets a good laugh out of him MAN HE NEEDED THAT. ]

All of Panem should have been sending you thank you letters! The last three Games would have been even more unbearable without that monstrosity to look at.

[killarevolution]

Oh, I know. Fidgeting little upstart that Crane was, he needed something to make that face of his not worth punching. Nothing worse than a Head Gamemaker that thinks he's actually well-intentioned. [Although, really, if Crane hadn't been well-intentioned, he never would have convinced him to... do the two victor rule. IDC IF THAT'S MOVIE CANON. IT HAPPENED IN MY HEART.]

[megamind]

There's an accent? [Megamind might be totally creeping on this post now that Haymitch made it]

[65]

The tongue of the people who oppress our people.

[well, if Haymitch is going to tempt the masses that may or may not exist ...

#yolo]

[megamind]

Oh! Are you from Haymitch's world? Can you explain all the things I know he's not telling me? [Because he does know, he's not stupid. Haymitch loves being vague, but-- it takes one to know one, really.]

[killarevolution]

[Too drunk to care rn. He'll smack Finnick senseless later.] By all means, regale him. Tell it better than I could, anyway.

[65]

It seems like I have his approval. But I don't promise to be able to explain things any better.

[megamind]

Well, there's 'explain things better' and 'explain things at all'. You get two guesses to figure out what he's told me, and the first one doesn't count.

[Haymitch is closed mouthed surly drunk. NEWS AT 11!]

[65]

He's a very private person. [WE ALL ARE.] Was there anything in particular ... ?