ataraxion | 001 ; video

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001 ; video

[ click! as the video feed flickers on -- and here's soysauce looking kind of confused and lost. a slow blink as he confirms that this thing is working properly (he can never be sure, it's nothing like those clunky old phones and radios he's so used to) before he gives a polite smile. ]

Good evening. I hope I'm not being too much of a bother when the mood seems so, ah -- [ what's the word ] electrified.

[ a sheepish sort of laugh as he rubs at his jaw. ]

I'd like to avoid wasting too much of anyone's time, so I suppose I should get straight to the point, which is --

[ and then he rather clumsily manages to bring up the text for:

:) ]

This mark. I'm afraid I've never been very good with fancy machinery and such complicated things, and there seems to be a bit of a buzz about these matters as of late. May I possibly ask what these symbols stand for? -- humor an old man, perhaps?

[ yes he seriously has no idea what smilies are. ]

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...Are you kidding me.

[Didn't cavemen draw smiling faces on walls with rocks or something back in the stone age? What are you even, dude.]

Ah -- I'm afraid not. Perhaps I should have apologized for my ignorance beforehand?

[ he's never seen a computer before landing here okay ]

[This is too sad to even troll. You've broken him, Soysauce. Congratulations.]

Its...turn it like this, dude.

What do you see.

[ he's trying so hard to understand what's going on sob he's just gonna squint so hard at it before really carefully guessing, ]

... some sort of face?

Very good.

[He can't keep quite all the sarcasm out of his voice but oh god its hard.]

And what is it doing?

[ oops getting distracted ]

Is this meant to be some sort of ... signature? It seems a rather roundabout way of leaving one's mark.

[Focus, dude. Come on he knows you can do it.]

Its meant to be fucking Creepy McCreepersville, okay? Focus.

Its an expression.

[ such language ]

F -- excuse me, what?

[Get used to it, Soysauce. Simon farts profanity and shits sarcasm on a regular basis.]

Focus. [Because that's what the man was about to say, clearly.]

Its a smiling fucking face, man. You've got the two dots for eyes and the curve of the damn smile. Using it for a signature is pretty tit flipping creepy, not to mention arrogant cause its just inviting people to try to figure out who he is.

Are you with me so far?

[ gosh, so harsh. sounding a little bit like a kicked dog, ]

Ah, yes -- yes, I think I do.

[Oh god this guy is kinda pitiful, and Simon just can't...handle it. He can't handle the look of the old man being so damn lost he doesn't even know what a :) is.]

...Good. That kinda shi- thing is called an emoticon. There's a fuckton of them out there for expressions and mimicing the faces or actions you're doing at the screen when people can't see you doing it, alright?

... emoticon. [ trying out the sound of the word. it feels weird. ] So -- the person using this is trying to imply they are constantly smiling?

Yeah, pretty much. He's having a grand time fucking with us, and acting like he knows all kinds of shit that we don't.

[ okay he's slowly getting a general idea of this. ] May I ask what this person's done in the past? They seem to have quite the reputation.

Something to do with trapping people in creepy rooms with skeletons at the end of endless corridors and shit, and then all the text messages popping up on the network.

Problem is, we don't know if the fucker's one of us or what. Not like there's any other crew here to blame besides the two guys in charge.

... skeletons. [ he can't help but sound a bit dubious because isn't that -- a little cliche? ] That doesn't sound like it would accomplish very much -- or have much purpose other than malice.

I dunno, man. I wasn't paying attention to that part of it at the time.

[Nope, he'd been too busy trolling a few of those souls that had been trapped in the endless corridors for a few days. His priorities, right there.]

People are wondering if he's building up to something, aside from cheerfully fucking with us. Of course, everything's fucking with us on this ship-- you missed all the people getting possessed by demons and shit a few weeks ago. It had to get all Exorcist up in here for a bit.

[ it takes a bit of effort to parse out the important information amidst all that profanity. ]

That seems a rather odd combination, doesn't it? Demons and skeletons on a spaceship. They're ah -- [ what's the right phrase ] -- not in the same genre, no?

[Its an acquired skill, Soysauce.. You'll get used to it.] Depends on who made the skeletons...skeletons, you know. But demons, skeletons, anonymous psychotic hoebags...yeah its a pretty broad mix.

Still could all be called horror though.

I ... see. [ no, not really, but he's trying!

a brief pause before he sighs and gives a slightly disbelieving laugh. ] At least this all seems to be good fodder for stories to tell at a bar, if we're ever released.

'If' is kinda the operative word there. There's a working theory that we're all from like, different realities and times, but that's pretty fucked up to think about.

Ah -- right. Of course.

[ beat. ]

May I ask what you mean by 'different realities'? [ because his head's about to explode what is this ]

[Oh god how do you even begin to explain alternate dimensions to a guy who doesn't know what an emoticon is?]

Like, being here on this ship. It's not where I'm from or where you're from, that much is pretty fucking obvious. Could be a different planet, or part of the universe entirely, or it could uh, a different dimension. Where you're from might not even exist, where we are. Relatively speaking.

Ever heard of the phrase 'alternate reality'?

[ such a long pause while he struggles to wrap his head around this concept oh god. ]

I can't -- say I have, though I suppose I can take a tentative guess. [ but not really. ] Do you mean that this aircraft is located in -- ah ... something like another world, like in myths? Heaven and such?

Fuck, if this is heaven, send me to hell.

[But it seems he's got the basic concept, if a little oversimplified.]

But yeah, kinda. You know those fantasy stories that take place in worlds completely different from ours and shit? Something like that.

Only this isn't gay fairy magic crap. Its space and horror and smiley faces.

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shoyu - 2012-06-03 05:50 (UTC) - Expand

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