VOICE ♙ OO1

[teashop]

[ ahem, using this thing like a phone because he's really not interested in wasting time trying to figure out just how deep the rabbit hole goes in terms of what it can do. that comes later. ]

Good— [ . . . ] whenever it is.

[ his voice might sound familiar to some of you, if slightly more nasal; there's a steady metallic clop-clop, clop-clop in the background that sounds not unlike horse hooves on steel. Anything is possible when your man's been abducted to live a doomed life in space and is riding his mare around the corridors! I'm on a horse. ]

Seems like as good a time as any for a proper hello. And since we've all got some time to kill, I thought it might be nice to play a quick game of Questions. Or—Facts, I suppose. Whichever works best. I tell you one thing about me, you tell me one thing about you... loads of fun.

[ okay so he's not exactly gagging to talk about himself, but if there's a fast track to gathering information, it's to come right out and ask for it. tit for tat. ]

I'm called—

[ he pauses.

this isn't Wonderland; nobody knows him here, except for Alice, and she doesn't exactly pose a huge threat to his well-being. Well, not any more, at least, because nobody knows about the Stone of Wonderland here; the likelihood of the both of them being tracked down and killed for it has been significantly diminished. he figures it's okay to be honest about his name, if nothing else. ]

—Hatter. Now, your turn.

Also. Directions to this oxygen garden thing would be— much appreciated. I've a horse here in need of some greens, and she's a bit twitchy from being kept in the dark.

[ reluctantly finally: ]

And if you see an old guy with a crazy goatee in a suit of white armor spouting nonsense about—I don't know, mystical vapours of destiny or something, you should probably let me know.

Comments

video;

[hisfinestact]

[ Excuse some of the awkward camera movements, please, as Jaime navigates the typical what is technology why are all these buttons here ren fair stuff. ]

You have a horse?

voice;

[teashop]

[ oh wow hello video. ]

That's what I said. [ it's a considerably less dry retort than usual. blah blah make friends not enemies blah. ]

[Video]

[anomaliiiiies]

Are you on drugs?

[ voice ]

[teashop]

[ what ]

No. Not exactly what I was expecting for a first question, but I'll take it.

[purepazaak]

[Totally ignoring the horse.]

Atton.

You're tied up in the destiny racket?

[ voice ]

[teashop]

[ squint. ]

Tied up in the— [ wait oh you mean— ] No, no, that's—no. One of my friends seems to think so, and he's not exactly quiet about it. Not sure he's here, but if he is, you'll know.

Voice

[swisspoetgoatherd]

You have a horse? How did you manage to get a horse up here? [Pause.] What kind of horse is she?

Voice

[teashop]

I didn't manage anything. If I had the power to transport horses to-and-fro, I wouldn't need a horse, would I?

A four-legged one. [ hatter: horse connoisseur. he peers over her neck, but the mare is willfully indifferent to his inspection; tell me your secrets, he says, with his eyes. piss off, he imagines is the reply. ]

She's brown. With a sort of a—white stripe on her face.

[allucinator]

Jack. Now, what, I ask you a question? And you know, I saw about four o' men like that on me way here, you're gonna have to be more specific than that.

[ voice ]

[teashop]

[ Jack. just when he thought he'd gotten rid of the name. ]

Ask away. I'm all ears. And a bit of mouth.

Oh, did you? [ Hatter briefly entertains the thought of multiple Charlies, and then wishes he hadn't. ]

Are you sure? I'm not kidding—white hair, white everything. He's a knight. Like you might see straight out of a fairytale.

video;

[kingofbabylon]

[ Okay, this guy seems like a serious amount of fun because wtf horse. Justin will play. ]

I'm called Justin. And you can find the oxygen garden -[ insert handwaved directions here]. So there's one thing about me and one thing about the ship. Your turn.

voice;

[teashop]

Justin, hello. [ that's a name that's fun to say. and oh cheese and actual crackers, he such a fan of you right now; you are the first one to actually give him the directions he asked for. ] Thanks ever so much.

[ then he pauses, thinking; and still, the steady clopping is heard, with a short bray. nope, not that way. the other way. the other way. ]

Hm. I sell a special drink. [ for a given definition of "special". ] Can you guess what it is?

voice;

[oyster]

You've got a horse? [ Yep. That's all she really cares about. ] Where'd you get her?

voice;

[teashop]

[ sarcastically: ] Y'know, Alice, I think you're the first person to ask me that.

Found her off the locker rooms when—we split. Made a hell of a racket. She's the one Charlie lent us.

Fancy a ride?

text;

[wont]

You've a horse?
What sort?

voice;

[teashop]

[ this thing can do text? that's new. text, voice, video. got it. ]

I have. [ honestly, you'd think he was the only one. and if he is—well, what use does anyone have for a horse on a ship anyway? ]

The kind you ride. [ sorry, mysterious texter, he's really got no clue. ] She's a mare, and she can bear two people comfortably, but that's nothing special.

[video]

[saint_kitten]

[ A horse? ]

Well, and here I thought I'd seen the majority vastly confusing things. No old man, sorry to say.

[ voice ]

[teashop]

I didn't see him in the pod room, and he's kind of difficult to avoid, so I haven't exactly been holding out hope. [ he's probably much better off in his city, anyway. ] But. Thanks anyway, miss... ?

[video]

[wolfdreamer]

You have a horse with you? For true?

[Oh, but this is a game. Questions, or Facts. You can't answer a question with a question, so he's quick to add:] I'm called Bran. Do you have a horse?

[ voice ]

[teashop]

[ w o w was not expecting children on this godforsaken space boat. Hatter grimaces, if not for Bran's sake, then for his own ability to talk to children. ]

Well, Bran. I do indeed. [ and he grins, just a little, the corner of his mouth lifting. not that Bran can see it, but the kid's just so earnest. ]

Do you have a horse?

video;

[wont]

[ Alayne Stone has no brothers. But still, she knows this brother's mind.

Asked with a genuine smile (they come more readily now): ] Does my lord look to ride?

[ voice ]

[tailcrook]

Konoe.

[Talk about a creature he hasn't seen (heard?)... ever, actually.]

A horse... is that what's making that sound?

[ voice ]

[teashop]

[ Konoe? Well, that's an odd name if he ever heard one.

As if on cue, the mare snorts and brays as they turn a corner. ]

It is. [ why is everyone asking him these things yes it's a horse yes. ] Thought that was obvious.

text; SUPER LATE TAGGING IN /SOBBU

[syllogism]

[...it's a horse. He hears that fucking real live horse in the background! Doesn't matter what Dirk thought of this place before because it's officially heaven now. Wait wait wait, he wants to make sure it's not MLP-sized.]

I'm DStrider. Sup.
Would the horse that you've conveniently received at the lockers happen to be a verifiable full-scale ride-able one by any chance?

text; NO COME TO MEEEEE

[teashop]

[ 100% non-neon non-magic non-pony.

also what orange text you can do that?

time to try texting. ]

Sure is.