Now see, this is something I can get behind. Boring old Evander is trying to do boring things like getting in contact with the boring captain of the ship. Which, by the way, can you even believe we're stuck on this thing? I'm not going to last a week. I'm not sure I even want to! All I wanted to do was go to a decent pub and find a cute young thing to take me home and now I'll never get to do that.

[ SO. MUCH. WOE. ]